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I had to leave.
I wasn’t scared of Alejandro, not physically at least, but was totally and completely unprepared for what I’d say when I’d see him again. I couldn’t ignore what I heard, and Christ knows I wouldn’t be able to hide it. That’s what scared me.
I lifted my shoes from the ground, reaching for my purse, but clumsily dropped it off the counter, spilling my keys and a tube of lipstick. Everything rolled away, scattered like loud glass marbles.
“Fuck!”I bit into my palm, flustered by such a stupid mistake, rushing to my knees to pick it all up.
“Where are you going?”
I shuddered, caught in the act of leaving; my emotions tied between running off in a fit of panic or remaining absolutely still. I calmly turned around.
“Home…” I answered to Alejandro who appeared from the hall, simultaneously stuffing my belongings into my purse.
Alejandro watched closely, his slacks fitted neatly below his abs.
“And why is that?”
“Because I’m tired… It’s been a long night, and it sounds like you have a lot to sort out.” Alejandro moved over me, stepping on a single sheet of paper that was out of my reach. I realized too late what had fallen out of my purse.
“What the fuck is this?” He bent over, removing the document from the heel of his boot.
“It’s exactly what you think it is,” I snipped. “It’s us in a nutshell.”
“That’s bullshit, I’d never ask you to sign something like this. Where did you—”
“Lina,” I interrupted, “she gave it to me today. But I probably shouldn’t have been surprised.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means we have secrets, Alejandro. It means there is more to you than you’re willing to share, and although I can’t blame you for that, I also can’t ignore what I just heard. NDAs aren’t normal, we’re not normal; and despite how I feel, I just can’t help but expect the worst from you. And whatever it is you need from me, whoever you think I am inside, can’t compete with this waiting game you’re playing. I can’t be trained to accept you just because it’s convenient for you.”
“Trained? I’m not training you, Gemma. I’m commanding you because I have the foresight to see where this ends, and that’s already on a thin fucking line. Tell me what you heard and let me explain, but don’t sneak out like a fucking child.” He cut into me with a stinging dose of honesty I wasn’t prepared for, pulling me to my feet. I hated that he held a mirror to me, to how I acted. I wanted so badly to do the same for him.
“Sneak out?” I asked. “Don’t fool yourself, Alejandro. I’m not the onesneakingaway to take heated calls late at night. Now let me go, I don’t want to keep you from yoururgentmatters,” I threw my hands into the air. “Or from god knows what.” I turned around, attempting to slip on my heels as I made my way to the elevator, clicking it open.
“No.” He persisted, forcing himself in front of me, blocking the entire width of the door with the stretch of his arm. He lowered his head just to meet my eyes, his body the perfect inverted triangle that stopped the elevator from closing. “You may want to run away, but I won’t let you; I won’t let you carry on with whatever story you created in your head.” He stepped forward, forcing me backwards, “I asked you a question. Now answer me; what did you hear?”
Alejandro was always the man with all the questions, but he could barely answer one of mine. He pushed me in the most uncomfortable of ways, and maybe that was what he wanted.
“I don’t want to say.”
“Do it…”
“No. This is too crazy, Alejandro, this is… I don’t know what this is or what it means, but—”
“Gemma…”
“You’re the killer,not me…” I finally murmured, stunning myself before staring at the floor. It sounded even worse than when he said it, and I nearly stopped breathing. “It’s just too much to ignore, especially after tonight. You have to understand, with all the people after you, the lawsuits and publicity, what am I supposed to think? Especially now after Lina came to me with this NDA. I can’t help but wonder what she’s protecting you from.” I shut my eyes, unable to look, unable to say her name, but I forced myself to do so anyways. “And with Natalie…”
“Natalie?” he stopped me. “This has nothing to do with her, she’s just… not a part of our story.”
“Don’t say that, Alejandro. She’s a real person; there’s history there, and it kills me that you’ve shut me out. I can’t ignore that Parker mentioned her on purpose. He was trying to tell me something. Can you say the same for yourself?”
“I’d do anything for you, Gemma.”
“Except be honest? Except be truly open?” The elevator finally shut behind him as I turned around, marching away from his body and into the kitchen. “I can’t keep playing this game of tug of war with you. It’s exhausting.”
“Exhausting, like how you play so coy?” He stepped closer to me, but I stopped him, forcing my hand onto his body to keep him away. My resistance was met with the most startling complacency. He obeyed, leaning just enough for my palm to dig into his chest, allowing me to feel the relentless beat of his heart. Was he scared? Angry? He was something, but I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. “This isn’t you; this is just your guard—”
