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“Don’t you dare.” I interrupted, frustrated with him, with myself. “I’m expected to be this open book for you to read whenever you want, yet my questions are evaded. And damn it, I can’t rely on my interpretations alone, Alejandro, they will trick me every time. I see you, and I feel excited and hopeful, but I also feel everything in-between, including doubt. It’s not my job to just fall, it’s your job to also catch me.” I pointed my chin to his, challenging him once and for all with the most direct stare I could muster. “You can stand there all you want and try and convince me, but the reality is that you don’t trust me with your truth. I want to be there for you, but how can I when you’re so unwilling?” I shook my head. “On the phone, you said you never ‘hurt’ her—at least—not like how‘they’hurt her… Who isherif not Natalie, then?What have you done? Why does everyone keep warning me to stay away from you?” I asked pathetically, unexpectedly weak from the idea that the truth could be as terrifying as I imagined.
“If I tell you now, you won’t like it,” he said.
“It doesn’t even matter anymore. The fact is I’m used to getting bad news, so save me already and just spit it out.” I rebutted, a strange and sad truth that came too naturally.
Alejandro flinched, and the bridge of his nose scrunched as he almost stepped back.
“I was afraid of this reaction… I didn’t mean for you to hear that, it’s why I walked away.”
“To hide your guilt?”
“This isn’t about guilt.”
“You’re right… this is abouther,so you tell me right now what that means, or I’ll leave.”
He paused, the serious look on his face faded, replaced with an apologetic wince. His mouth opened, only to close, as seconds of silence passed between us. He licked his lips.
“Her, Gemma, is a script, not a person…”
Suddenly and horrifically, I felt foolish.
“How? How is that even possible?”
“That person on the phone was a studio agent… They’re threatening to pull the plug on a project. It’s something I’ve been working on for a while now.” He brushed my hand, calming me as he leaned against the counter. “They wanted to voice their concerns, because my potential monogamy scares them. I didn’t want that Hollywood bullshit making you uncomfortable… but my discretion made it worse.”
“Wait, that doesn’t make any sense, why do they—”
“Alex Rivers is a lucrative persona,” he cut in, “I need to be both, the good and the bad; the heartbreaker. You don’t fit in with that, but I don’t fucking care anymore.” He pulled me closer, securing my position in front of his hard body. He answered so quick, so convincingly, that I still stumbled over my words. “They will killthe deal, not me, I won’t bend for them, not against you. They think I’m hurting my image, but the truth is they’re hurting the potential of another great movie, another huge paycheck.”
“I’m not sure I believe you,” I answered honestly, wanting to, but deciding not to pull away. “There are too many opinions in my head, too many versions of you that I still don’t know. Like you’ve said, there are two sides of this story… and I don’t know if I trust Alex Rivers.” I could still hear Claire warning me, her silent stare fueling the roadblocks of my life. I was raised to fear it all, and it was hard to stop being that little girl, afraid without my protector, afraid to open up and stay on the path of a new beginning. I hated being so suspicious. “I’m so sorry…” I apologized, unable to look at Alejandro, embarrassed.
He grew quiet; my admission a subtle change to his demeanor. “You never have to apologize to me,” his smirk faded. “I’m trying to be honest, but maybe I’m just delaying the inevitable, because truthfully there’ll never be agoodtime to share, but that’s not your fault. I just hope I don’t dig myself deeper into a hole.”
I looked up into his pitch-black eyes, where I could see for once, the waning of his walls. It took time as he said, slowly revealing that we were more than just the dark clouds from our past. Who was I to rush him into opening up, but in that same breath, how long was I willing to wait?
“Thank you,” I said, looking back down at the floor.
“Don’t thank me yet. It’s my job to prove these things to you, to ease your heart into this world of mine. All you have seen, all you have heard is about my lawsuits, about The Pierre Hotel…” he hesitated. “And now, unfortunately, of Natalie, someone who got mixed up in the cost of fame. You’ve heard about the parties thrown in my name, those hosted byAlex Rivers. But now you need to see who he is, and how he’s different from me.”
“And how would you do that?”
“By showing you. I don’t want to, but I owe youmytruth, just like how you’ve sharedyourtruth. Tomorrow, I’m hosting an event. The things you’ve been told about, the gossip, the madness, it will all be there. It’s a party, intended to promoteDon Jefe.”
“A party?” I scoffed, nervously looking away. I felt the unwavering sense to curl into a ball, peeking behind the curtain of the infamous Alex Rivers was just what I needed, regardless of how scary it could be.
“A hotel riot, possibly.” He grinned, but in a way that left me unsure. Was this excitement, or was this sarcasm? “You don’t need to answer now, but at least stay the night.” He picked up his phone, unlocking it with disappointment. “I’m expected to call back, to sort this out… I’m not sure how long I’ll be.”
I tried to smile but couldn’t. Our magical moment was ruined because of me and my own insecurities. “I’ll just sleep in the guest room,” I said, reluctantly.
He gave a slight nod, as if he was defeated. Maybe he wanted me to spend the night with him, but whatever he had to sort out, clearly I wasn’t privileged to be there.
“Buenas noches. Goodnight,” he sighed into my hair, pulling me into a tight embrace.
“Goodnight.”
Hoisting my chin, he looked at me one last time, kissing each cheek, my nose, then my lips before turning back to make his call.
I remained in the kitchen, my mind less focused on my stay and more on the upcoming party. An event promoting the inevitable release of his own tequila, seemed like a recipe for disaster, but how else would I see this man and his world, unless I decided to fall down this hole? I knew the cost, I knew the reward, even if I got thebig hurt.
