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“It’s ok, it takes time to know someone. I didn’t know that you liked luxury cars so much, or that you did pageants.”
“Yeah, but you weren’t surprised,” she was quick to reply, “and that’s different.”
“How so?” I asked, but Mila paused, her silence more of a contemplation than a need to hold back.
“It’s different becauseIwas the one that shared that with you, not because someone else told you about it.Someonewho knows you so well.” She picked up a banana taffy, staring at its waxy cover. “You didn’t ask, but we also share something in common too. We both fear the same thing: the future.” She twisted her lips, subtly hinting at something we both didn't want to say. I feared my future with Gemma, and undoubtedly, Mila feared her future with me.
“I’m having fun, aren’t you?” I repeated the words she once said to me on the night the fire alarm went off. Back then I had asked if shecared for me, wanting to gauge her reaction, hoping to buy more time in my attempt to develop feelings for her. We were still barely dating, but maybe she cared more than I even realized. Now, I worried my feelings still hadn’t changed, I was still hopelessly in love, but not with her.
“Yes,” she replied.
“Then like you said before, let’s enjoy what we have right now. No sense in worrying about the future,” I added. “It was a silly thing for me to say.”
“It’s not silly. Gemma’s right, you know. You weren’t dorky.” Mila unwrapped the candy in her hand to take a bite. “I can like banana taffy too, we can like it together.” She began to chew, immediately jumping out of the car to meet Mom.
I sat alone, stewing in the trouble I caused, and on the hearts that I broke, and would continue to break. There was a lot I had done wrong, and now, there was a lot I had to make right.
Chapter26
Gemma
The pressed linens at the Joneses’ Hamptons home remained uniquely crisp; a defiant look to their impossible softness I knew I’d sink into tonight. This, of course, was the essence of the Jones family: a pristine but impeccably comfortable group of hosts. I fixed my hair using the same large, gold mirror that hung in my bedroom—the one I used to share with Parker when we were just kids. That felt like ages ago, but being in here made it seem as if it were just yesterday.
“Gemma, dear!” Mama Meg called from the kitchen. “I need my butterfly girl!”
“Coming, Mom!” I hollered, combing back my hair, turning my body for a final check before leaving. The minute we arrived I knew I wanted to switch my outfit. We spent so much time at Sag Harbor that my bathing suit felt less than dinner table ready.
“I hope you’re hungry.” Parker half-knocked at the doorframe, leaning in with a grin, eyes matching the hue of his mossy-toned polo that hugged his biceps.
“Starved.” I tucked my turtleneck into my tweed skirt, revealing the hint of thigh that Parker peeked at. He looked up confidently, as if he wanted to be caught. I glanced at my shoulder, laughing to ease the tension.
“Room hasn’t changed at all, has it?”
“I’m not sure if it ever will. It’s been the same every year since we’ve been kids.”
“Too bad I’m downgraded to the spare bedroom down the hall. It’s not nearly as comfortable as this one.”
“Would you like to switch?”
Parker was quick to shake his head, “Nah, I wouldn’t dare. You get the best here, and I’d rather you stay in the bed that we used to share. Besides, that’d mean a lot more to me.”
My mouth grew dry, parched from the imagined thought of us as adults: grown, illuminated by the bright light of a Hamptons blue moon, cuddling under the cool sheets of our old bed.
What a wild and spontaneous image.
“Well, it was built for two,” I played it off, diffusing any intentions he may have implied.
“Still is,” he gleamed, his purposeful stare acting as a challenge. Every second we held our glance carried another meaning. One second was friendly, two seconds was attentive, three seconds bordered on suggestive, and four seconds—well—four seconds was something entirely different, something that made me daydream of the impossible.
“Are you here to escort me?”
“Absolutely. Any chance I can get,” his cupid lips twisted. “But I’m also here to let you know that what Mila said in the car was true. There might be a thunderstorm tonight.”
“It’s ok.”
“I’m sure it is, but if it isn’t, I’ll be close by. If you come look for me, I won’t be hard to find. I promise.” By the way his thumb traced the pad of his fingers, he seemed to be restraining some need to reach out. Did he want to take me by the hand? The arm? My waist? I folded my hands together as he made way for me to pass. “Let’s get you downstairs,” he said, leading me through wainscot paneled halls and exhibited family photos.
Mama Meg was already calling out to me as I made my way down the stairs, her voice pitched with an obscure Mid-Atlantic charm that had since been lost on newer generations. “There she is!” she shrilled, her tiny hips sashayed towards my direction, wrapped in a tweed skirt and cream-colored blouse. “Twins!” She beamed, comparing our outfits with the motion of her hand. “It’s like looking in a mirror, honestly.” She laughed, turning towards Camilla whose arms crossed along her chest.
