AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I tried so hard not to pout, my shoulders inevitably dropping like the abandoned strings of a marionette. If I wasn’t his sister, then what was I? What had I always been? He wasn’t here to protect me, to guard me from some terrifying feeling; and in fact, I was terrified, nervous at what he was saying, an apology that felt like an admission.
“Do you love him?”
I couldn’t blink as Parker asked the heaviest question I’d ever heard.
“I don’t know,” I answered as open as I could. “I don’t know what I feel, but it feels important.”
“And are you open with him?”
“Maybe… He knows a little about me, about Claire. I was open as much as I could be at the time, but I think that has stopped. We haven’t talked in days… and now I’m just exhausted.”
“From what?” he asked, genuinely begging to know.
“From everything… from the lies, from the secrets, from the darkness.”
“And to fix it… to fix everything, Gemma, where would I begin? Tell me, Butterfly.” His voice fell out: smooth and soft, desperate in the most pleading whisper that made me ache. I couldn’t help but answer so bluntly.
“I need honesty, Parker, and not just from myself, but from others.”
My words appeared to pop whatever bubble we found ourselves in, removing the delicate staring contest that was intruded on by others.
“Come on, Gemma!” Tommy ran up and pulled me by my arm. I forced a smile, doing my best to conceal the previous drop in my face, and the surprising tears that appeared from nowhere on the corner of my eyes. “I’m taking you dancing!”
“I’m not any good,” I shied away, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“I’ll teach you. It’s fun.” He shot a quick look at Parker and sneered. “Sorry bro, you had your chance! She’s taken now.”
Parker broke his attention from us as Tommy pulled me out into the moonlit beach, spinning me around. I laughed but kept my eyes back at the bonfire, focused on Parker and the orange light that lit his face.
He watched me, quietly and purposefully, his confession floating in the air. I wasn’t his sister, and his words were tortured with an apology that crumbled everything I was told to believe. Why would he do that? Why would he force himself to carry such a feeling, such a burden? And what would he do now, now that I wasn’t sure how it made me feel, leaving me to wonder if I could ever forgive him?
Chapter30
Parker
Mila had been listing ideas of things we could do here, and so far her suggestions hadn’t been great. I stared up at the ceiling in bed as she continued to read them out loud.
“How about canoeing?” she asked excitedly, her glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose as she scrolled through her iPad. “Can you imagine Gemma and Tommy on one? How cute!”
“Cute?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, still hung up on how dangerously close I was to ruining this trip, to confessing everything I ever felt to Gemma. I couldn’t even handle how the smallest tease, mention, or imagined instance without her drove me insane. “You scolded Tommy tonight for being forward, and now you’re wanting to set him up?”
“Better than Alex Rivers,” she scoffed. “Gemma deserves better.”
“Please don’t mention his name,” I said to myself, checking the alarm clock, feeling totally anxious. Why wasn’t it morning by now, why couldn’t I just be on my run with Gemma? I felt so completely distant from her, and after the bonfire, she’d been totally checked out. She wouldn’t look at me, stand by me, or even say goodnight to me. Gemma knew something was up, and now it felt like we were in a weird place.
Was what I said too much?
Fuck.
It was, and I knew it would be, but between Mila and Tommy and their constant mention of Alex and Gemma, everything began to reach a point of unbearable restraint.
“Don’t be such a baby.” Mila burrowed her cold feet near my thighs, seeking their warmth.
“I’m not. It’s just… can’t I have a vacation without any mention of Alex, or a reminder of work? Or you playing matchmaker?”
“Do you have something against Tommy?” She furrowed.
I tried not to sigh.
