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“Of course not. He’s my friend and… I just can’t see the two of them like that.”
Mila snaked her legs around me, her attention still glued to a top-ten list of romantic things to do in the Hamptons. She brushed herself against me, her panties and bare skin uncomfortably close to how confined I felt. I was becoming physically pinned to the mattress and plush white sheets.
“I can totally see it,” she tried to convince me. “Oh, my god, they would have such cute babies! We could be their godparents!” She swiped at her screen. “You know there’s an app for that? I can put their photos together and see what their children would look like. Can you imagine? Gemma’s auburn hair, and Tommy’s tan skin?”
Oh, fuck this.
“I need a drink.” I tossed off the comforter, escaping the potential of what some god-forsaken app could do to my mental state.
“Could you bring water?” Mila asked.
I nodded, desperate for any sensory feeling other than what confined me to this room; cold wood floors, brushed nickel door knobs, and now, the sound of laughter that came from downstairs.
I could hear Mom howling from the kitchen as I made my way down, taking special note towards the hall, right on Gemma’s open bedroom door. She couldn’t have been asleep yet, and in fact, I didn’t think she was even in bed.
I walked faster to get to where everyone was.
“Hey Parky!” Mom snorted from the kitchen counter, repeatedly bombarding me with Mila’s new nickname for me. I shook my head, begging the universe to be called rattlesnake again, a more meaningful attachment given to me by the woman that stood right beside Mom.
Gemma looked up, silently surprised, her eyes big before darting back down. Really? This again? She didn’t even say hi.
“What are you guys up to?” I fixed my voice, sounding as casual as I could be.
“Puzzles and chit chat.” Mom sipped on a late-night cup of coffee, absolutely buzzing with caffeine.
“Of what?” I asked, this time directing my attention right on Gemma.
She couldn’t avoid me now.
“Labradors in a boxing ring,” she answered down to the puzzle, giving it a quick smirk before hiding it away.
Just look at me, I thought,just tell me we’re ok, even though I know we’re not.
“Dad and I are thinking of getting a dog,” Mom announced, piecing together a collection of cheering poodles. “What should we get?”
“Get one like Parker!” Tommy made his way in, slapping my shoulder, his long plaid, pajama pants much louder than my grey sweat shorts. He looked like Christmas in the heat of summer. “A dog that’s loyal to a fault. But smart.”
“Not too smart,” I replied, inching closer to Gemma, being as inconspicuous as possible. I just wanted to be near her, but fought to keep myself from staring. Her hair was pulled into a perfect knot, her pajamas a loose silk top that I wanted to wrap my arms around. As she leaned across the counter, a small peek of flesh appeared through the buttons of her shirt, teasing the spot right below her breasts. Even though I couldn’t see them, I knew she was wearing shorts underneath the thigh-length shirt, but the illusion that she may not have been drove me absolutely mad.
“What do you think, Gemma?” Tommy asked.
“About what dog they should get?” She looked up at him, meeting his eyes, making me envious.
“No, what dog do you think Parker is?”
“A lying one,” she tossed a sly smile at Mom, who almost spit out her coffee. Everyone thought it was a cute joke, but to me it was the most honest retort she could’ve given.
“How about a German Shepard?” I replied to my own defense, the only dog that Gemma ever could talk about while growing up as kids.I want to be what you’ve always wanted.
“Those are a little too protective, don’t you think?” she asked me, stacking puzzle pieces like poker chips.
“They can be brave too. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“They shed too much!” Mom interjected, turning to Tommy as they discussed potential names for a dog they didn’t even have.
Gemma focused herself to a corner of the puzzle, a particular image of Corgis eating corndogs.
“I found a piece of their paw.” I smiled with my voice, considering she couldn’t see me. She switched to another corner of the puzzle, walking around my body to the opposite end of the counter.
