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“She’s not a monster. I think she was worried she could lose her sister. After her brother died, Aunt Opal was all Mom had left of her siblings. That last time our cousin went to jail sent Opal into a bad spiral,” Sienna said. “But she went to a doctor who got her some antidepressants and a whole lot of therapy. Mom drove her every week. Still does. I know you think she’s cold...”
“I don’t think she’s cold.” Cold wasn’t her mother’s problem. “I think she’s closed-minded. I’ve heard all my life how strong people don’t need help.”
“She’s one of those people who struggles to understand a concept until it happens directly to them,” Sienna replied. “It can make things difficult, and sometimes getting her to understand can take a while. She’s set in her ways.”
That was the understatement of the year. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about the concept of passing along a legacy. Quaid’s father had passed on his. The café had been in the Halford family for years. It was the way Papillon worked. “Did Mom ever try to get you a job at the plant?”
Sienna snorted. “Pretty much every time I quit a job shetried to get me on at the plant. I always tank the interview on purpose because the last thing I need is to work where Mom does. She would drive me crazy.”
“She’s worked there since she was a teenager,” Jayna mused.
“Yes. That was when she got pregnant with me and dropped out of high school and Grandma got her a job at the plant working next to her. Why are we talking ancient history?”
“I was just thinking about the fact that everyone who stays in town tends to follow in their parents’ footsteps.”
Sienna seemed to think for a moment and then nodded. “I suppose if the family has a business, they tend to pass it down to their kids. Although there are exceptions. Sylvie isn’t a hairdresser. When Marcelle retires, she’s planning on handing over the salon to her nephew. He’s a stylist in Baton Rouge. But mostly, yes. Even Angie. Her dad used to run the post office. She got hired on after high school and worked with him for fifteen years. He retired and she took over. What’s your point?”
“What if Mom sees that plant as something she could pass on to us, as some kind of legacy? It’s not easy to get a job there. They don’t have much turnover.” The plant didn’t pay great, but it was steady work and the overtime could add up.
“That’s a crappy legacy,” Sienna said with a frown. “But you might be right. It would explain why she was so against me taking the job with Quaid.”
“He thinks she’s afraid of losing you the same way she lost me.” She’d been thinking a lot about what he’d said.
Sienna’s gaze went soft. “She can’t lose me. I’m her daughter. She never lost you. You called. You invited her to visit you.”
“She didn’t feel comfortable at my place, and I wasn’t comfortable here.” She certainly hadn’t been comfortablebringing her husband here. In later years, coming without him had felt like she would be admitting defeat, so she’d tried to get her family to come to New Orleans. It had led to spending holidays surrounded by people but feeling utterly alone.
“Well, I’m not leaving Papillon.” Sienna resettled herself on her chair, glancing over at the playground.
“Tell me you aren’t already thinking of finding a new place to live.” She’d seen Sienna looking through online real estate ads on her breaks.
Sienna rested her head in her hand. “It would be nice to have a house with a yard. There are a couple of duplexes and townhomes for rent that I could afford. I would like the girls to have their own rooms. Kelly’s going to be an actual teen soon. She’s going to want some privacy.”
“She’s going to want to not share a room with her bratty younger sister.” Like Sienna hadn’t wanted to share a room with her, but they’d been stuck together for years. Until Sienna had moved out after high school to live with a group of friends in an old house they rented.
“I think it would be nice for them to have their own space. You know I didn’t hate sharing with you.”
“But you want something better for your kids.” This was what she’d never understood about her mom. “I don’t think she wants that for us or for Ivy and Kelly. I think she wants us to be right where she is, always. I think she resents the fact that we wouldn’t take jobs at the plant. Even before I screwed up my life, she wasn’t ever proud of me.”
Sienna reached out, putting a hand over hers. “I think she was, but she doesn’t know how to show it. She doesn’t handle change well, and you have always been this chaotic agent of change. It was easier with me because she understood me. I wasn’t as smart as you were. I didn’t have your ambition. You confused her. The two of you have never known how tocommunicate. I worry if you leave, you’ll never have a good relationship with her.”
“Do I need to?” She wasn’t sure it was possible to have a good relationship with her mom.
“No. You can have a great life and not have a relationship with your parents, but I think deep down she means well. I know you do,” Sienna said, getting emotional. “Whether you reconcile with her or never speak to her again, you will always have me. Always, Jayna. And you didn’t screw up your life. You did the right thing, and you got your butt kicked for it. You got knocked down, and you’re getting back up. I’m worried Quaid knocked you down again today, and he didn’t mean to do it.”
Sienna’s words made her blink back tears. At least she’d also given Jayna a point to argue. “Oh, he meant it. Not the knocking-down part. He wasn’t trying to be cruel, merely making himself plain.”
Sienna sat back. “I don’t think you understood him. I think you heard some words and put your own spin on them.”
“He said he doesn’t want me around his family.”
“Because he has a strained relationship with them. Do you want him around Mom?”
“I wouldn’t tell him to stay away. If she needed help and he was the best choice to help her, I would ask him to.” She’d thought about this all afternoon. Even while she’d battled it out with him in the courtroom, she’d gone through a million scenarios and realized she cared more about him than he did her. She was at risk of getting into yet another unequal relationship where she pined for a man who couldn’t love her.
“Your experience isn’t his,” Sienna said. “You can’t know why he wants you to stay away unless you ask him and discuss the problem.”
“He doesn’t talk much about his family. He’ll talk abouthis dad some but not his current situation.” She needed her sister to understand. When she talked to Quaid, he would listen but was always silent about his own problems. “I hear you, but I also know that I have to take the evidence in front of me and reach a logical conclusion. He’s not serious about me and that’s okay. It’s not like we’ve been together for months and he’s made a ton of promises. The truth is we got into this relationship because we’re both lonely. It was never meant to be meaningful. I’m the one who put that on him, and I’m going to apologize for making him uncomfortable.”
