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“Don’t be ridiculous!” Ruby smacks my hand lightly. “I’ve been trying to get you to spend the day with me forever. There’s no way I was going to pass this up.”
“Where do you want to go?” I, personally, have no plans to buy anything. Every little bit I make that doesn’t go towards food or bills is tucked away, and even the coffee I’m drinking feels like a luxury I shouldn’t have allowed myself–much like the cab last night.
Ruby shrugs. “Somewhere to look for clothes, maybe? And some new makeup? There’s a customer who keeps taking me back to the champagne room, tipping a lot. I think he might want a different kind of arrangement soon, and if he does, well–” she shrugs. “I want to be ready.”
“Different? How so?” I frown, not entirely comprehending what she means. I’m sure if the client is tipping well, Ruby’s already found a way to expand the menu of services offered to him. I’m not sure where it goes after that.
“You know–” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, and when I still look at her uncomprehending, she sighs. “I forget you’re new to all this sometimes. Companionship. An…arrangement.”
“Like–dating a customer?” The thought makes me feel a little queasy. “I wouldn’t want to date someone who treated me like I was an entree to order off a menu.”
Precisely why I never wanted the kind of marriage I was meant to have.That’s exactly how the type of man my father would have married me off to would have viewed me–something to appraise like a piece of art or jewelry–choose to keep or reject.
Ruby laughs. “I guess–but it’s not really dating. It’s just business. They get my time and my…services, and I get money. The perk is that they get to enjoy all of that outside of the club–on their own time. In an environmenttheychoose. It’s not unusual–I’ve done it before. It usually lasts a while, until theyrun out of money or get bored, or for the married ones who have wives that expect fidelity, until they get caught skimming the family savings to pay me. Things go dry for a while, and then inevitably, someone else comes along who wants the same thing or something similar. It’s just another job.”
Just another job.It sounds vaguely horrifying to me, the idea of having to continue to carry on with a customer outside of the club, but I just smile, taking another sip of my coffee. “I mean–if that makes you happy–”
“Moneymakes me happy,” Ruby says with a laugh. “And one day, I’ll have enough that I can go anywhere I want, fuck anyone I want,doanything I want, and tell all the rest to fuck off. But until then, I’d rather do this than–” she gestures broadly at the coffee shop as if to indicate working out in the regular business world in general. “I never had a passion for anything that would make me money, and all my talents seem to involve sex, so I might as well make use of it while I can.”
“I can’t argue with that.” I really can’t.Go anywhere I want, fuck anyone I want, do anything I want–Ruby echoed everything I’ve been striving for in just a handful of words. It makes me wish I could open up to her. I wish I could tell her whatI’mtrying to do, what I’ve been working so hard towards, about the escape that I dream of.
All it would do is put her in danger, too.
“Enough about work, though,” Ruby says, popping the last of a piece of pumpkin bread into her mouth and standing up as she drinks the last of her tea. “Let’s go enjoy the day.”
We head out of the cafe onto the moderately busy street. I dressed to avoid eyes, but Ruby didn’t–probably because itdoesn’t matter how she’s dressed. She’d draw eyes no matter what. She’s wearing a blue plaid skater-style skirt with a white button-down, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and blue flats, her red hair cascading everywhere. She looks like a schoolgirl who’s grown out of her uniform, and I’m grateful for her flamboyant style, because it pushes me even further back into her shadow.
Which is exactly where I want to be.
We end up in a discount shop, sifting through racks of clothing. Ruby finds a short, tight green dress with a sweetheart neckline and capped sleeves, holding it up for me to inspect. “I could put my hair up, pretend to be a proper kind of lady. I bet he’d like that. He’s older, and if he took me out in public, I think he’d want me to be a little more conservative–”
“The green would suit you.” I shrug. “I don’t think you could ever lookconservative, though, not with that hair.”
“True.” Ruby laughs, flicking one of the curling pieces over her shoulder. “Alright, I’ll look for more.”
Once upon a time, I loved shopping. A wave of longing washes over me for afternoons spent with friends, browsing through department stores, swiping credit cards without bothering to look at the tags. A life that feels so far away now that I’m sometimes not entirely sure it happened.
Were any of them ever really your friends, though?
None of them would speak to me now if they saw me. Even if they recognized me–probably,especiallyif they recognized me. They’d be too afraid that my fall from grace was catching. That the loss of what my name had once meant would tarnish theirs.
They’d only ever been my friends because I had the same power, status, and money. Theyenviedme back then, because they’d all been married or engaged, shoehorned into arranged partnerships with men chosen by their families. I’d still been free. They asked me over brunches, dinners, and drinks to tell all the wild stories of the men I slept with, the escapades I had, and what it was like to have my own apartment. They all promised to keep my secrets.
They were jealous of me.
Now, they’d treat me like dirt on their shoes.
I glance over at Ruby and her armful of dresses. Back then, I probably wouldn’t have spoken to her, either, and it makes me feel guilty. In a very short time, she’s been a better friend to me than any friend I ever had before. It makes me wish I could be a better friend to her.
You are being a good friend by not telling her things that would put her in danger.
“What about your guy?” She raises an eyebrow as she joins me, pawing through the other side of the rack. “The handsome one.”
“I told you–”
“Yeah, I know. He’s an asshole. Taffy said you got super annoyed with her, snapped that he’s not your boyfriend.” Ruby grins at me. “Don’t worry; none of us will touch him.”
“I don’t care if any of you do,” I retort, feeling myself flush with irritation. “And anyway, yes, you would. Any of you would. He has money.”
