AllFreeNovel
Share Us
CHAPTER FOUR
TEIGEN
She didn’t want to go. How could she ever face him again? Everything she’d been afraid of had happened. And the most mortifying part was it’d happened with Ellison Markham, a man she’d admired and, if she admitted it to herself, crushed on ever since she’d started working atArchitecture D.C.
How did she get to the age of twenty-nine being such a naïve fool? Of course, she knew the answer to that question, but she hated to face the fact that she’d let other people control her life for so long. At least she’d finally come to her senses, but it still left her so damn ignorant.
She glanced at the clock and realized if she didn’t get going, she’d be late for her follow-up interview. How she was going to look Ellison Markham in the eye she wasn’t sure, but if she wanted to keep her job, she had no choice. And she wanted—no, needed—to keep her job. It kept her independent from her meddling parents and her ex-husband. She could never allow them to have any influence over her life again. She was done spending time on her knees asking for forgiveness. She couldn’t suppress a chuckle when a brief vision of herself on her knees for an entirely new reason entered her brain.
Grabbing her coat, she ran out of the house. If she drove a little above the speed limit, she could make it there on time.
Ellison waited for her in a corner booth at the café he had chosen. It was secluded enough that no one but the waitress would be able to eavesdrop. He rose when she arrived, greeting her warmly. His attitude helped take away some of the embarrassment she felt at seeing him. Once seated they looked over the menu and ordered.
She didn’t hesitate to get into the interview, not wanting to engage in small talk that would bring up the events at Black Light. “What made you get into architecture?”
He went along with her, answering her questions in a professional manner, further allaying her discomfort in his presence. “I’ve lived in D.C. all my life. My parents were lawyers who worked for the government. I’m proud of our capital and always loved the way the city is laid out with the stately buildings in the city center as well as the neighborhoods. As I traveled with my parents, I saw the historic districts of cities being destroyed by a careless quest for modernization, which often left them with no character. I wanted to be a part of preserving the uniqueness of D.C.”
She took voluminous notes as he continued to describe the way he went about researching the history of buildings he worked on, and how he came up with his designs. They discussed specifics of many of the projects he had completed while they ate their lunch. Over coffee, to her dismay, he got personal.
“You are pretty knowledgeable yourself about architecture, Teigen. Why are you working on an architecture magazine. Why aren’t you an architect yourself?”
Caught off-guard by his question, a feeling of being trapped overcame her. How could she tell him about her career choice without revealing her unpleasant past?
Stammering, she blurted out, “I-I didn’t really have the talent to be an architect. I can appreciate good architecture… like one would a good painting. But I could no more design a building or a reno than I could paint a picture. And it was… too complicated for me to learn CAD and BIM and all that.”
He looked unconvinced. “I’m not sure that’s true, but being a good writer is a talent as well, and I’ve read some of your pieces. I wouldn’t have let you interview me if I didn’t like how you write.”
Well, that’s comforting.At least he respected something about her.
She’d finished with all her questions and searched for something intelligent to ask him when visions of their infamous scene intruded on her. Did he really mean it when he said he wanted to work with her. After thinking about it for a few days, she thought it might not be a bad idea. The burden of being so uptight about anything sexual was weighing on her, and she didn’t want to have to deal with it anymore. She didn’t know how to broach the subject, though. They were here on business and it wouldn’t be professional to let her insecurities interrupt the interview.
“Hey, what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”
Startled out of her rambling conversation with herself, she looked up to see Ellison smiling at her expectantly.
Okay, the hell with it!Time to dive into the deep end. “Nothing much. I was thinking about how much I have to learn about the lifestyle.”And life in general,but she kept that to herself.
“Learning about it should be enjoyable. Nothing to worry about. However, you have to take it slowly or it can be overwhelming, and that could ruin the experience. I would be happy to continue to guide you, be your mentor, if you’d like.”
Relief flooded through her. She wouldn’t have to remind him of his offer.
“I think I would. I’ve decided that being hypnotized may be the only way to get past my insecurities. You understand how difficult this could be, right?”
He smiled indulgently. “I was at your last scene if you recall. I’m pretty sure I understand what you’re dealing with. The thing I need to know is why. Do you think you could tell me more about yourself so we could get to the root of the problem?”
“It’s not such a difficult thing to figure out…I just can’t find a way to get their voices out of my head.”
“Whose voices are you talking about?”
Here it was, her horrible, mortifying life story. She wanted to keep it secret, but she knew if she did, she’d never get better. She had to trust Ellison to keep her confidence and to treat her without censure, but she was afraid he’d never look at her the same way again. Her past tainted every aspect of her life, a stain she didn’t think she’d ever get rid of. In desperation she confessed to him.
“My parents were members of a religious cult. We lived on a huge farm in Vermont. Most people around us thought we were hippies, since a lot of them created communes in that state. But our group preached severity in life and abstinence except to have children. Boys and girls were kept separated, and it was a terrible sin to even touch yourself in a sexual way.
“My husband was chosen for me, and I married at 17. We were expected to have children right away. The first time either of us had sex was on our wedding night. We didn’t know what we were doing and we fumbled through it. I didn’t enjoy it then and I didn’t enjoy it afterward. I also didn’t get pregnant. Bobby blamed me. He said because I didn’t respond well to his lovemaking, it was preventing us from having a baby. Obviously, now I know how ridiculous that was, but at the time I believed it was all my fault.”
She leaned back in the booth, the awful memories of the fights they had playing back in her head. The pain of it all was like a dagger in her belly, twisting her insides. She looked over at Ellison to see if he was disgusted by her tale, but only empathy shone on his face.
He reached over and took her hand, massaging it with his fingers. “How did you get out?”
