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“Where else can you use the scarf to make yourself feel good?”
“I-I…don’t know.” She knew exactly where else; she was just afraid to do it. If she pushed herself too far, it could all go away like it always did. She couldn’t bear that. It felt sooo good.
“Teigen, I know you do.” That voice of authority again, compelling her to obey. “I want you trail the scarf down your body, then open your legs and rub the scarf over your pussy.”
Her mouth was so dry she could barely swallow. Fighting against the resurgent voices telling her no, she brushed the silken fabric down her torso. If her body weren’t so heavy and sunk into the bed, she would have tried to rise up to alleviate the adrenaline ricocheting through her. Reluctantly she forced her legs open, then reached down between them, crumpling the scarf into a ball. She didn’t want it to tickle. If she were going to do this, she wanted to obey Ellison, to feel it fully. Another shiver coursed through her as she fondled herself with the delicate silk.
“Don’t stop. Rub it back and forth, back and forth. Revel in the sensation as your pussy swells, your clit hardens.”
The pressure in her clit intensified the longer she stroked it, Ellison’s strong voice egging her on. Her core coiled so tight she thought she’d burst. She was on a roller coaster, whizzing along, every nerve in her body alive. The exhilaration was almost too much until all of a sudden, the car veered, about to go off the rails, plunging her into nothingness.You must not!Panic enveloped her.
“Stop!” The command crashed through her consciousness, abruptly saving her from disaster. The precipice of catastrophe disappeared. Everything calmed down and her breathing slowed. The silk scarf evaporated into thin air.
“You’re safe, Teigen. You are under my protection. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Yes.Ellison was still here, watching out for her. She sank back into the mattress, his calm voice comforting her, his gentle stroking soothing her.
“I’m going to wake you up now, Teigen. You’re going to wake in three, two—open your eyes—one.”
She stared over at him next to her on the bed. Despite the imminent danger he’d rescued her from, she still felt more rested than she had in a long time.
CHAPTER FIVE
ELLISON
Okay, so they’d made some progress. She was starting to trust him. He’d hoped she’d have been able to go under longer, to ride the experience of feeling turned on a bit more. But the voices in her head were stronger than he originally thought, and it was going to be a challenge to get her to block them out in favor of his.
He wasn’t sure how many more sessions they’d have to have before she was able to truly let go. Despite her progress in therapy getting her life on-track, the sexual aspects of her repression hadn’t been addressed. He wasn’t sure he was up to the task, or even if he wanted to. This was going to require a long-term commitment, something he didn’t do.
And yet, he hadn’t been attracted to anyone like this in a long time. Too focused on building his business, showing his father that being an architect was as good as being a Supreme Court Justice, he’d left no time for anything—or anyone—else. He’d pursued a path of his own making, dedicated to preventing the suffocation he knew he’d experience if he’d followed his parents into the legal profession and fulfilled his father’s lifelong dream for him.
I guess I’ve had my own voices in my head pushing me.Working with Teigen was eye-opening in more than one respect. He’d been held back from pursuing a relationship for almost the same reason Teigen was being prevented from achieving an orgasm. Playing with subs in the club was fine, but he’d rarely allowed himself to spend more time with women than that. It seemed both of them were going to have to learn new patterns of behavior. Did that include committing to helping Teigen over time?
“Areyouokay, Ellison?”
Fuck!He was neglecting his charge, which was unforgivable given what she’d just been through. “Yes, Teigen. I was thinking how very proud I am of you that you went so far today, that you let go to the level that you did.”
All right, not quite the truth, but close enough.
Her shy, trusting smile took his breath away. How could he turn his back on her? He should do everything in his power not to let her down.
“I enjoyed it till the end. Then it got very scary.” Furrowed brows marred her beatific smile.
“What happened that was scary?” Dissecting each session was critical to figuring out what he could do to help her next time and also help her understand what happened so she could move forward.
“I lost control; then I panicked.”
He needed to connect with her on a visceral level, skin to skin. Pulling her against him, he caressed her face as he directed her to look him in the eyes. She wasn’t under anymore, but he could still focus her attention on the message he wanted her to absorb.
“Before you lost control, did you enjoy what was happening?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely! All my senses were alive. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt as good.”
“You realize that no one else was touching you, that you were directing your own pleasure.”
A vivid blush stole across her cheeks. “I guess I was thinking that you were doing it since you were directing me.”
“I was, but the hands that were caressing your body were your own. You were in control. Up until the last moment, you relished every minute of it. The more you learn to stay in tune with your emotions, the more you’ll be able to block out the negative voices. You can learn to make that happen.”
