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With his hand still holding her face, he prevented her from shaking her head no. He wouldn’t let even a minor negative reaction like that to invade her thoughts.
“You can,” he reiterated. “And you will. Please trust me, and most of all, please trust yourself.”
“I’ll try.”
He smiled down at her. “As Yoda said, ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’ You must get it in your head that you are master of your own body. The more you work on it, the more you will believe in yourself.”
She leaned into him, pressing her body against his. “I’ll trustyou. That’s all I can promise for now.”
“I’ll take it. How about you get dressed, then we’ll go downstairs and I’ll make you something to eat. I have a feeling you were too nervous to eat much before you came.”
“Psychic as well as hypnotic. You’re right. I could eat.”
He helped her off the bed. “I’ll let you get dressed, and I’ll meet you downstairs in the kitchen.”
He kissed her forehead and left the room. Relaxing over a meal would help cement their dynamic without being threatening. She had made some encouraging progress today, which they could build on as they went along. Deciding she was a challenge he was willing to take on, he was sure that eventually they would conquer those fucking negative voices, and when they were done, she would fly.
* * *
Teigen
Dinner with Ellison had been better than she imagined. He could cook, and he made her feel like a queen, waiting on her all evening. The potato and leek frittata had been delicious, as was the crisp white wine he’d chosen to go with it. Ellison didn’t pry any further into her private life, although why would he? He’d already gotten her life story. Like a good host, he steered the conversation to non-intimidating topics like where in Washington they liked to go. Ellison got so excited about some new buildings that had gone up recently, he invited her to visit them with him. She wasn’t sure if it was a date or just an extension of her interview, but any excuse for spending time with him was fine with her. He told her he’d make arrangements and let her know when they’d go. By the time she’d gotten home, she was already looking forward to the next time she’d see him.
The next day Teigen met Maria for brunch in a small café near her house.
“I can’t wait to hear all about your time with Master Ellison!” Maria said as she sat down and pulled off her scarf. Mesmerized by the fabric sliding from Maria’s body, Teigen’s memory of her own scarf experience flashed before her. She could sense the flush of excitement flare up.
“Oooh. Does that blush mean it was good?“ Maria’s eyes twinkled as she regarded Teigen with anticipation.
“It was incredible. I never thought I’d be the type of person who could be hypnotized, but it was surprising how fast he had me under.”
Maria leaned forward and whispered, “Did he make you do kinky stuff?”
“I’m not sure if you’d call it kinky. He had me touch myself with a scarf.”
“That’s all?”
Maria’s disappointment surprised her—and put her on the defensive.
“You know, not all of us have the kind of experience you do. And when, I might add, was the last time you were hypnotized and engaged in sensation play? Do you know what it feels like to let your body go and experience something soft and sensuous all over your skin while someone else is telling you exactly what to do and is expecting you to obey? I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it really turned me on!” Teigen put her hand over her mouth when she realized her voice had risen. Thank God the café was crowded and the noise level was pretty loud or she’d really have embarrassed herself.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Maria reached across the table and took Teigen’s hand. “I know you’re new to the lifestyle. It sounds like Master Ellison made the scene incredible.”
“Not as incredible as we both would have liked,” she confessed. “I kind of panicked, and he had to pull me out of the trance. I think he was as upset with me as I was.”
Maria squeezed her hand as a look of fury crossed her face. “He had no right to be upset with you. He knows everyone responds to scenes differently. It probably triggered something that made you react the way you did. He should have been supportive of you, not upset!”
“Sorry, I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. Ellison was comforting and tried to make me feel better. It’s just that I had the feeling he expected more from me, and I was sorry I disappointed him.”
The waitress approached and took their order. The minute she left the table, Maria attempted to reassure her.
“You can’t project your own feelings on someone else, particularly in this situation. If Master Ellison didn’t tell you he was disappointed in the scene, you have to take him at his word. When you start a relationship in BDSM, particularly when you’re new and don’t know what your boundaries are, you have to go slowly. Sometimes it takes a few scenes before the two of you are comfortable enough to let go with one another. Did you enjoy the scene at all?”
“I did. And Ellison said it will get better each time we play.”
Maria took a sip of her coffee. “You should believe him. He obviously has a goal in mind with his scenes, and you have to trust him to take you where you need to go.”
“Yeah…Trust. He told me that. It’s just hard.”
