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To the contrary, almost every single person in the club and connected to it would likely encourage such an action. They’d do it with understanding words, soft, pitying gazes. They’d surround me with the love and warmth and family they’d created, me to heal amongst them.
As one of them.
If circumstances were different, the old Sariah would’ve jumped at such an invitation. I’d yearned to be part of a family for years. Pretty much since I’d left my own behind—or when they kicked me to the curb—and set out to find people who wouldn’t judge me. Would accept me. Wouldn’t make me feel like trash.
The Sons of Templar ticked all those boxes and more.
The men were hot as balls, dangerous and muscled yet somehow respectful. They knew how to have a good time, weren’t afraid to cause a little chaos and lived for sex, booze and their patch.
And the women... In my opinion, the women were more badass than the guys with their motorcycles, guns, muscles and tatts. The women were their backbone. They had killer fucking style, they partied hard, and each of them had conquered their own demons before coming here. Each of them served as a pillar that held this whole place up. And they had all welcomed me with open arms.
The problem was, I wasn’t the old Sariah anymore.
I didn’t even think of myself as a person.
I didn’t feel like one. I felt like an object. Something carved up, ruined, beyond redemption. An artifact of a horrific crime.
I wasn’t anything.
And I certainly wasn’t Colby’s, like he kept saying.
As history went with the Sons of Templar, when a member decided a woman was ‘his,’ it was only a matter of time before the woman in question accepted that with glee. If a time even existed when a woman had fought it.
But I was going to fight.
For my life.
What was left of it, at least.
“What the fuck are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” Colby rumbled from behind me.
I’d figured he’d find me sooner or later. Maybe he was tracking my phone. I wouldn’t put it past him to have bribed some doctor to implant a tracking chip under my skin. I’d been impressed with myself for managing to get out of the apartment in the middle of the night without him noticing.
I didn’t look at him, though I did hold my breath as his warmth pressed against my arm. I had to do my best not to inhale his scent, not to let him too close. Colby had noticed that I had somewhat of an … aversion to him being near, and he’d made adjustments accordingly. Unless he was in protective alpha mode.
Which he definitely was right now.
“I’m … tying up some loose ends,” I replied.
Colby was likely frowning at me right now, but I had other things to do.
I tossed the can I’d been holding in front of us.
“You may wanna step back,” I told Colby, reaching into my pocket.
“Sariah—”
“Seriously, dude, if you want to save your eyebrows and not maim that pretty face of yours, you should step the fuck back.”
I moved backward, causing Colby to move with me.
I flicked the lighter on, staring at the dark shape in front of us. There were no words, no ceremony. This wasn’t something that needed to be ritualized. I didn’t need to be here for a moment longer than necessary.
The lighter went flying in the direction of the empty gas can I’d tossed, illuminating the thin trail of gasoline leading from the entrance of the warehouse and reflecting off the puddles of it I’d spilled around the space, mingling with the dried blood. Mine and many other women’s.
“Holy fuck,” Colby muttered, his shocked face alight as the warehouse quickly went up in flames.
The heat was indescribable, forcing us both to take a couple more measured steps back. In the movies, they always stood watching calmly as if their eyebrows weren’t getting scorched off, so I hadn’t bargained for just how intense the wall of heat would be.
Colby pulled me to his side and slightly behind him.
I know he felt me stiffen at the contact, but he didn’t let me go.
We both watched the warehouse burn for a while. The crackling and spitting of the angry blaze taking over the night. If only my memories could go up in flame so easily.
Colby turned me to him, grasping my hips lightly.
Him touching me in such close proximity to the place that had changed my life forever was almost too much to bear.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” he asked, still watching the flames. “Actually, why didn’t you ask me to do this for you? You didn’t need to come back here.”
I rolled my eyes and jerked myself away from him. Finally, a viable reason to get out of his arms that had nothing to do with my trauma and everything to do with my temper.
