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“I’m fine, Kat. Honestly. A little shaken up and anxious, a little off kilter too. But I’ll be fine.” I had to be. There were no safety nets or cushions to catch me from another hard fall.
“I’m sorry about that shit you went through. It’s never easy.” She wrapped me in a soft hug that brought tears to my eyes, so I pulled back.
“Sorry,” she said through a watery laugh. “The boys suffer my hugs, and Maisie is a hugger so I guess I got excited.”
“No, it was nice,” I insisted. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” Maisie offered the only physical kindness I’d received since that monster had his hands all over me. Touching me intimately. I shivered at the gross memory. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Feel your feelings, however they come out. It’s necessary. Trust me.”
I didn’t know why, but I did trust her. “I will, Kat. Thanks.”
“Anytime. What are you up to? Hang on... Hello?” The call interrupted whatever she was about to say, and I was grateful, as nice and welcoming as Kat was, I wanted to be alone. To weigh my options. Decide my future. Get high.
“Sorry Bonnie, raincheck? Emergency at the office.” I nodded my agreement and watched Kat rush off in the gorgeous red heels that were a bright pop of color against her all black pantsuit.
That gorgeous suit was fashion forward and office appropriate. It was also a glaring reminder of the hard right my life and career had taken recently. No job. No money.
No prospects.
And I felt like crap.
I wanted something—a pill—strong enough to take the pain away, to dull my senses without blurring the edges, but I was determined to prove to Cal—and to myself—that I wasn’t an addict. I didn’t need pills most of the time. I just wanted them. But sometimes the pain got so bad that I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the day without dying from it. The pills helped ease that agony. They weren’t a crutch and I wasn’t dependent. I was a casual user at best.
So instead of going out, I grabbed the laptop Maisie had let me borrow, put on my bikini and spent the day by the pool sending out resumes.
Pills be damned. I didn’t need them.
It didn’t hurt that I had a bottle of whiskey I swiped from the liquor cabinet next to me.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Cal
“What the fuck is going on, Virgil?” They’d pulled me away from an important conversation with Bonnie for me to sit around and do nothing.
“Calm down, Cal. We’ll get you back to your girlfriend soon enough.” Virgil flashed a playful smile, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“Just ‘cause I’m not sticking my dick in her, doesn’t mean it wasn’t important.” I shook my head, pacing in front of the stone façade wall that hid a secret passageway under Ashby Manor. “What the fuck is going on?”
He sighed. “Savannah Rhymer is in there…answering some questions.” My eyes went wide but Virgil didn’t seem disturbed at all.
“Did you get anything from her?”
He shook his head, gaze focused off in the distance, but I knew that calm demeanor was just for show. Virgil was always on. Always ready to brawl. “Not yet, but Jasper’s in there asking questions with Ma and Lance acting as backup.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Virgil wasn’t saying.
“No word from ol’ Ronan yet?”
“Nope. It’s been two fucking weeks and not a goddamn word. Can’t be good, right?” Virgil shook his head, patting his pockets in search of the cigarettes he’d given up more than a year ago. “I’m worried they’re planning to hit us. Here. At Ashby Manor.”
“Really?”
“Hell yeah, really. Why else have things been so quiet when we’ve got the Rhymer fucking Princess in our possession? Keep your shit locked and loaded.”
“Always, brother.”
Eventually Jasper appeared, followed by Ma and then Lance, all three looked pissed off. And exhausted. “Little bitch didn’t give up a damn thing. If it wasn’t so fucking inconvenient, I might be impressed.” Despite her words, the smile Ma wore said she was more than a little impressed with Savannah’s tenacity.
“So what now?” I asked.
“Now,” Virgil said and dropped a heavy hand on my shoulder, flashing a wicked grin, “we get back to the original plan, which means that you get to do a little wandering.”
Wandering, my ass. I was the low man on the totem pole, relegated to driving around in a nondescript black SUV as the decoy while Virgil and Lance took Savannah Rhymer to parts unknown. The Crusaders were an ongoing problem, but between the death of Brendan and Savannah’s kidnapping, war was imminent.
I drove through the streets of Glitz, stopping to park once in a while before merging into traffic and winding through Las Vegas, Mayhem and then Henderson before heading back to Glitz.
I had my mind focused squarely on Bonnie, rather than the problem at hand: an upcoming war with the Crusaders. A more important question to me was that I wasn’t sure if helping Bonnie was the right thing, for me or the family. But damn it! I wanted to help her.
