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“And if she finds something we don’t want her to find?”
“Then we will deal with her accordingly. Until then, let her dig.”
That answer didn’t sit right with me, but I nodded my agreement, my obedience, because forgetting Agent Beck gave me more time to focus on Bonnie.
On me and Bonnie.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Bonnie
“Good morning, Bonnie! How are we feelin’ today girl?” Yolanda, the morning nurse flashed a mischievous smile at me as she entered.
I groaned and flung an arm over my eyes. “How does anyone ever sleep in this place? There are constant distractions and so many noises!” It was the worst sleep of my life and that included almost two weeks living in my car.
“Oh my God!” I said as Yolanda poked my arm to check my pulse and blood pressure. Was this my life now, a series of things just happening to me? I couldn’t handle it if this was my life. My future.
“What’s the matter, child?”
“Nothing at all, ma’am, just second guessing my life choices.”
She let out an amused, cackling laugh that was contagious. “That’s how you know you’re livin’, honey, a few bad decisions under your belt. What matters most is how you rebound from those decisions. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.” She gave me a pointed stare to make sure her motivational words had penetrated. “You feel strong enough for a shower?”
“Yes, please!” Sponge baths were not getting the job done, but now that I was steadier on my feet, I could shower with minimal supervision.
“A shower sounds lovely. Do you think I can get out of here today?” My heart seized up at the very thought of what the stay here would cost me. It would take me years of working to pay it all off.
“Dr. Lennox is already here checking on patients so we should have an answer soon.” She flashed another smile and checked my vitals. My scars. “If you have any questions, now would be the time to ask the doctor. Don’t be shy.”
Yolanda’s words stuck with me for the next hour and a half and when Dr. Lennox popped her head into the room, I had a list waiting for her. “Morning, Dr. Lennox. How are you?”
She blinked. “I’m well, thanks. How are you both?”
“Tired but okay, I think. Am I going home today?”
She looked down at her chart and sent me a sober look. “That depends. Do you have someplace to go when you’re discharged?”
“Yes.” I lied so easily that I froze for a moment, half expecting to be struck down by lightning.
“Update your chart with your address, and we’ll discuss it.”
Smartass. “Can you answer a few questions or do I need to put them on the chart?”
The doctor’s lips twitched in amusement and she shook her head. “Ask away.”
“How far am I into my pregnancy?”
“Six to seven, maybe eight weeks based on hormone levels, but you’ll have more answers once you book an appointment with an obstetrician.”
That wasn’t surprising since I’d only had sex one night with one person, at least until a few days ago. That thought sent bile rising in my throat, and I slammed my eyes shut, shaking it off until the images dissipated.
“So if something did happen to me the other day, it’s not from that, right?” I asked sheepishly.
Dr. Lennox shook her head. “No, you are further along than just a few days. Do you remember when you had sex last? Besides the other night.”
“Yes, only once in my whole life. It was about six weeks ago, maybe seven. Is my baby all right, you know, from the pills and drugs and stuff?” It was humiliating to have to ask, but I had to. Being a mother meant my baby had to come first. Always.
The doctor sighed and looked at me with sympathy, not judgment. “Yes, as far as we can tell, but that’s only true as long as you stay clean. Right now your baby’s brain and body and organs are developing. Anything you do to harm that development harms your baby.”
I nodded and rubbed my belly where I figured the baby would be to let her know that I heard every word.
“I’ll do better for you, kiddo, I promise.” I looked up to the doctor and asked, “One more question, Doctor. Will the baby be born addicted?”
“As of right now, if you stay off of the drugs, your baby will be just fine. If for some reason you find yourself going through withdrawals, or needing a fix, come see me. I won’t let you use drugs, but I’ll help you get through it.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“And make sure you tell your OB/GYN everything. It’s all on your chart here if you want me to send it to them once you find an OB.”
“Okay, thanks again. I’ll get on that when I get out of here.”
