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“I’m sorry about everything you’ve been through.”
“Me too, but I’m happy that you’re here now.” I reached for her hand and squeezed it, happy to feel the warmth and kindness of another person. Every hour alone brought forth more images, more memories from my lost night. I needed her touch more than I needed anything else. “So damn happy.”
“Me too. I’m happy you made it. That dropped call took about twenty years off my life.” A nervous laugh escaped, and I listened as she told me all about the Ashby’s effort to save me.
To rescue me.
With Calvin spearheading the charge.
“I’ll be sure to thank him,” I told her blandly. I had no right to be upset about Cal not visiting me. The man had tracked me down and gotten medical help that saved my life. He didn’t owe me anything else. Which was exactly why I couldn’t tell him about the baby.
It would be one hell of a way to pay back his kindness.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cal
Bonnie was finally back at Ashby Manor, and I was no closer to her than when she was in Jasper’s fancy private hospital.
“You plan on avoiding me for the rest of your life?” She sat on the edge of the smallest pool on the property, absently dragging her toes through the shallow water.
Hazel eyes that looked way too big for her gaunt face looked up at me, blank and lifeless. “I’m not avoiding anyone, Calvin.”
“Could have fooled me.”
She sighed. “That wasn’t my intention either.”
“I know, Bonnie. I’m sorry.” It was as if I couldn’t say anything right all of a sudden. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, Cal. Clean and sober.” She looked at me, waiting for me question her or accuse her. I couldn’t quite tell. “Nothing to worry about.”
“I’ll always worry about you,” I told her honestly. I didn’t know when it happened or how, but somewhere between being an annoying little snob and becoming an addict, Bonnie became important to me.
She sighed and leaned back, pulling down the sunglasses on top of her flaming red hair and shielding her eyes with them.
“I’m not your problem anymore, Calvin, so do yourself a favor and stop worrying about me.”
I folded myself down on the cement next to her. “What if I don’t want to stop worrying about you?” What in the hell was I saying? Did I really want this woman and all of her baggage?
Hell, yes. Absolutely.
She laughed and the sound was bitter and angry, cold. So unlike Bonnie that it caused an ache in my chest.
“Believe me. You don’t. If you did, I might have seen you when I was in the hospital for a week.”
“Sadie said…shit!” I knew I should have listened to my own damn instincts. What the hell did Ma know about a healthy, stable relationship in the first damn place? “I’m sorry, okay? I wanted to see you. I needed to see that you were all right with my own eyes after seeing you so close to death…but they said stay away.”
“And you did. Easily.” Her feet stopped moving, eyes still shielded, but the stiff set of her shoulders said that despite her bland tone, she was angry. Pissed off.
I let out a long sigh. “I waited until you were asleep until I slipped in. Watched you for a while and then headed home.”
Where I dug into Addison Beck. The Rhymer family. Bonnie’s parents and any other threats that could come at the Ashby family and our ever growing circle.
“You were there?” The wonder in her voice momentarily caught me off guard. “I thought I dreamed it.”
“It was me. I care about you, Bonnie. Is that so hard to believe?”
She shook her head. “You’re a good guy, Calvin. I made the same mistake too, but you should know better.”
“Why? Because I come from a family of criminals?” Where in the fuck did that come from?
“No,” she said sadly. “Because you’re more experienced, sexually, than I am. You know how easy it is to confuse things.” Her red hair fell around her shoulders as she shook her head. “Thank you, Cal. For being a decent guy. I mean it.”
A decent guy? That was a goodbye if I ever heard it. Dammit, and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Bonnie. Not when I just realized how much she meant to me.
“Are you even listening to me? I’m telling you that I want you, Bonnie. I want to be with you.”
She nodded. “I know you believe that, but it’s all mixed up in your head because you saved my life. You did that because you’re a good man, and I’m grateful for that. And for the memories.”
“No.” This couldn’t be happening. Not now. “Bonnie, just think about it. Before everything turned to shit, we had a good time together. Didn’t we?”
“We did.”
“Is this because I got so angry the morning…after, you know?” It was a moment in time I would erase if I could. A stain on my conscious.
