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“That can still be true while we co-parent. I’m staying in Glitz for that very reason.”
Cal turned to me, a question burning in his eyes that made my knees wobble, but I refused to falter.
“Is that the only reason you’re staying?”
I knew what he was asking but I didn’t know how to answer that.
“I’m not the girl I was when we met. I don’t believe in white knights and fairytales. I believe in love. True love, and I won’t ever settle for anything less than that. Period.”
“And you shouldn’t, Bonnie, not ever.” He took a hesitant step and then another. And another until we were toe to toe. Face to face.
“Shit, Bonnie, you are so much better than you know. You are the one who doesn’t know how amazing you are. How incredible. I already know that, believe me.”
I wanted to believe him, my goodness, did I want to believe his words. Down to the very marrow of my being. But I couldn’t. His words were a sweet enticement to keep me right here where he could keep an eye on me. And the baby.
“Calvin.”
“I’m serious, Bonnie. When I first met you, holy shit, you were so stuck up and full of yourself, but you were so confident in who you were as a person. Annoying but intriguing.”
His lips curled to one side into a sexy little grin that I couldn’t look away from, even though I knew I should.
“I was insufferable, you can say it. I know it now.”
Thinking about the judgmental girl I was back then made me even more grateful for Maisie’s friendship.
“Not insufferable. Judgmental sure, but it’s refreshing to meet someone so confident in who they are as a person.”
“You’re an Ashby, Cal.”
“Exactly. I know what it means to be an Ashby but I never really felt like one, not until you.”
I huffed out a laugh, and Cal reached out to stroke my cheek. “I’m serious. The things I’ve done since I met you, to keep you safe. To keep you close. Those things taught me what kind of man I am, what kind of Ashby I am.”
Holy. Shit. I tried to swallow, but words met air and got stuck, making it impossible to breathe as I processed his words.
“I don’t want you to have to change for me.”
“I didn’t, don’t you see? Hell, maybe you don’t because I didn’t. Not really, not until last night. It wasn’t just you, Bonnie. It was my love for you that forced me to be the man I’ve been avoiding becoming for years. I don’t have to be an asshole like my dad to fight for what’s mine, to keep what I love safe. I don’t have to enjoy kicking ass like Virgil, but I’ll do it if I need to. I have my place here, and I now know what that means, and it’s all because of you. Because I love you.”
Because I love you. Those words rang in my ears like a song played a little too loud, leaving a tinny sound that made it hard to hear.
“Bonnie, did you hear me?”
I nodded, pretty sure I heard him, even if his words made no sense. “I think so. You said you loved me?”
“Damn right I did.”
I shook my head again. “You don’t. You…can’t.”
“I do and I can. As you pointed out, I’m an Ashby, and I can do any damn thing I want. And what I really fucking want Bonnie, more than anything, is to hear you say that you love me too.”
I did love him. I loved Calvin Ashby in a way I didn’t think was possible. I hadn’t seen that kind of love growing up, which was exactly why I wouldn’t say it to him. I didn’t think I was capable of it. “I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t,” he growled angrily and gripped my chin so I had no choice but to look up at him. “Why, Bonnie? You still think you’re too good for the fucked-up white trash Ashby family?”
“What? No! God, don’t be an idiot, Calvin!” I shrugged out of his grasp and took a step back. “I have enough baggage of my own. I don’t need yours too.”
“Then why? Tell me what makes me so unlovable in your eyes, Bonnie. Please.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
His green eyes nearly burned my skin.
Okay, not kidding. “It’s because you’re so damn good, Cal. I had it all wrong about your family, the same way I was so wrong about so many things. You don’t deserve a life with someone like me. You deserve someone better. Someone worthy, not so fucked up.”
“Hey, that’s the woman I love you’re talking about.”
I wanted to bask in that word, in feeling like a woman worthy of this man’s love. But I knew better.
“I won’t tell you I love you, Cal, because it won’t change anything. It can’t.”
