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She stared at him, then down at her hands which were trapped in the onesie.
“This is so embarrassing,” she said.
Wait. Was that what was wrong?
“You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
“Yeah, I do. I just peed in front of you.” She covered up her face again.
“Hey. Everyone pees.”
Really? That’s how you’re going to reassure her? Everyone pees?
Idiot.
He crouched in front of her and tugged her hands away from her eyes.
“Look at me.”
Right. That came out a bit harsher than he’d intended. But she did move her head, staring at him. She looked miserable and he fucking hated it. He searched for the words to reassure her.
“Are we just going to stare at each other while I sit on the toilet with a bare bottom?”
“That’s how I sit on the toilet too.”
Her eyes widened. Shoot. Had he just made things worse?
“Did you just make a joke?” she asked.
“Uh. I guess. Bad one?”
“Well. No. It wasn’t bad.”
“Look, my point is, we all pee, right? We all use the toilet. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Yeah, but you don’t pee in front of other people!”
He let out a bark of laughter. “I was in the armed services for years, Blue. You’d be disturbed by what I’ve done in front of other people.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, indeed. Come on, let me undo the back of this onesie. You want me to get you something else to wear?”
“Yes, please.”
“You clean up and I’ll be back soon. I’ll knock and leave it outside the door.”
She was staring at him like she’d never seen him before.
Reaching behind her, he slowly pulled down the zip. Then he moved to the door.
“Judd?” she called out.
“Yeah, Blue?”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anytime.” He winked at her.
“Don’t hold your breath,” she muttered.
He walked into his bedroom and grabbed her some clothes. Then he knocked on the bathroom door after setting them on the floor. He sat on the bed with his back to the bathroom.
He heard her open the door and grab the clothes. A few minutes later, the door opened again.
“Um, Judd?”
He turned around. Fuck. Giving her his clothes might have been the wrong idea. Because he liked seeing her dressed in them a bit too much. His T-shirt was so big on her that it came down to her knees and completely covered up the pair of shorts underneath. She was holding the shorts up with one hand, and in her other hand was the panda onesie.
Swallowing heavily, he stood. She held out the onesie. “What should I do with this?”
“It’s yours, Blue.”
“Why Blue?” she asked.
“Uh, because of your eyes.” They were so beautiful.
“I can’t accept this,” she said sadly.
“Course you can.” He frowned slightly. “You don’t like it?”
“Oh no, it’s not that. It’s just . . . I can’t take it with me. Please.”
The plea on her face had him nodding and taking it from her.
“Fine. I’ll put it back in the playroom.” He took it from her. “You got out of bed on your own.”
Crap. He hadn’t meant to say that so accusingly.
Chill, man.
“Uh, yeah. I’m really sorry.”
Shit. Why did she look ashamed again? He hated that. She should never feel ashamed of anything.
“I shouldn’t have been touching things that weren’t mine. I just . . . I wanted to take a peek and then I saw the doll. I don’t know what came over me.”
Ahh. She thought he was upset about her playing with the toys. He shook his head.
“I’m not upset at you for playing with the doll or looking through the stuff in the playroom. It’s there for you to play with.”
“Oh. Is it . . . is it because you had to . . . to take care of me? Sorry.”
Fuck. He wanted her to stop saying sorry. Right now.
There was no need for her to continually apologize.
“No, I liked that.”
“You like having to rush me to the bathroom?” She stared at him with big, blue eyes.
He shrugged. “Yeah.” That was the truth. He liked taking care of a Little in all ways. Ester hadn’t enjoyed giving up full control. Something he’d always craved. Probably because he’d had so little control over his childhoods.
“Really? I kind of thought you might have been horrified by my lack of control. I was.”
Horrified?
He frowned.
That was ridiculous.
“Of course I wasn’t horrified.”
She looked relieved, nodding. She had one arm over her front, grabbing the elbow of her other arm.
“But you shouldn’t have gotten up on your own,” he informed her.
“I . . . why not?”
“Because you could have hurt yourself getting out of bed. Or lifting down those boxes of toys. You should stay where you’re put.”
Aww, fuck.
Why did he have to say that part?
Sometimes shit just came out of his mouth.
“Stay where I’m put? What the heck?” She gaped at him. “And how would I have hurt myself? By stubbing my toe?”
He narrowed his gaze, not backing down. Even though he probably should.
