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I don’t know if I could ever be that way again. But I couldn’t just let him go. In all honesty, I couldn’t imagine Ryan, not in my life. He has been there through so much.
“Yeah, that sounds good. I will text you the address. Come by around noon,” I spoke quickly, trying to end the call as fast as I could.
The moment I hung up, I gulped down another glass of wine, then placed my head on one of the throw pillows.
Now, in the hazy fog of Christmas, I sat unpacking the decorations and listening to Michael Bublé in the background, trying to mentally prepare myself.
14
MACKENNA
In the friend zone.A sigh left my lips.
Soon, Ryan would arrive to see hisfriend’sapartment, actually, his best friends’ little sister’s apartment. He wasn’t coming to see the woman he loved.
Nope. I’m the friend. That’s me. The fuckin’ friend—the one who loves him.
Shit. I needed to pull it together and bury those feeling deep, as deep as I could.
The thump, thump, thump of the door made me jump.
I bumped into the coffee table, knocking a bunch of ornaments onto the floor.
“Fuck,” I said, turning to head to the door. Halfway there, I tripped over a pile of Christmas lights strung across the middle of the floor. My foot got, and I hopped on one leg, shaking the snared foot. Seconds later, I slammed into a corner of the coffee table.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I snap. “Jesus. Get off my foot.”
My foot touched the ground, and the spiny light covers bit into my arc like grass burs or pronged, thorny stickers. The painful impact had me hopping around one-footed again.
“Shit. I’m coming!” Finally, I got my foot free, then tossed the lights behind me.
Fuck.I groaned.Please, don’t let them be broken.
Another thump, thump at the door, drew my eye to the entry. I stop abruptly where I stood, took a deep calming breath, then straighten myself out.
“Kenna,” I whispered to myself. “Get a fucking grip.”
I lowered my hand to the doorknob, gripped it, then opening the door. And there he was, looking fucking incredible in a fitted long sleeve grey shirt and jeans that fit him perfectly. His beard has got fuller since the last time I had seen him and damn, if it didn’t look incredible on him.
His golden-brown eyes trapped me and drew me. The side of his mouth jerked into a small smirk.
Damn. Heat pooled between my legs, and I squeeze my thighs together to relieve the building pressure.
In his hands, he held two large coffees. “I got you a coffee.”
Shit. I can do this. I can pretend I feel nothing for this gorgeous man.The memory of the kiss we shared played on a never-ending loop.I can and will keep it together.
Moving aside to let him enter, I smacked my arm on the door. “Fuck.”
Yup. I’m doing a great job holding it together.
“Ugh. Come on in,” I say as I rub the pain from my arm.
“I brought you a coffee. I hope there is enough cream in there for you.” He hands me the cup with steam still coming from the little whole in the cover.
I smile grabbing the cup from him still feeling the pain in my arm. “Thanks.”
Ryan walks further into my place, and I turn and shut the door, shaking my head at my craziness.
