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“Are you serious?” Tess gasps, her brown eyes going wide. “You must be joking.”
I shake my head solemnly as we snack on Doritos in my dorm room.
“No, I’m not. I swear to god. It was nine inches at least. Of course, I didn’t measure it or anything, but Tess, this thing washangingbelow the hem of his towel. He has to be nine inches at least, right? Or maybe ten? It was a big bath towel too, Tess, not one of those medium-sized ones.”
Tess shakes her head while popping another chip into her mouth.
“I don’t know because I’ve never been with a guy that size, but Pais, this is insane. Why would Mr. Landry come downstairs dressed in nothing but a towel? Doesn’t this guy have any decency?”
I snort, throwing a napkin at her.
“No, of course not! This guy is a total asshole who doesn’t give a shit about the people who work for him. It’s not even like I’m an employee or anything. I’m just a babysitter for hire, and to be honest, I’m surprised he’s even asked me back as many times as he has. I think it’s because I keep quiet, to be honest, so that he can get on with his scandalous ways.”
Tess stares at me.
“You mean, you keep quiet about the sex that he has with other women in plain hearing range of his teenage babysitter.”
“Yep, that’s right,” I nod. “He’s seriously the dirtiest playboy around. But the blonde he brought back last night was model-quality beautiful, even if he had her screeching and yowling like a cat in heat. She was truly singing to the moon.”
“Oh my god, your descriptions are so funny!” Tess giggles before taking a swig of Coke. “A yowling cat?”
I nod.
“Definitelya yowling cat. The sounds weren’t pretty, but her face and body absolutely were. Of course, that means nothing to Mr. Landry because that man kicked her out of bed as soon as he finished with her, he’s that arrogant and crass. Literally, I heard them orgasm like banshees in the room upstairs, and then not ten minutes later, this blonde comes creeping down with messy hair and her dress askew. At least she had the temerity to look embarrassed doing the walk of shame. But notveryembarrassed because you know that Brad Landry’s gorgeous, so any woman would love to get a piece of him.”
Tess nods.
“Gorgeous and hung. He’s obviously an animal in the sack too, given all the sound effects.”
I nod, feeling a little hot and bothered myself now.
“Yeah. Iguessit’s worth it because I’ve been getting nice tips to put up with his sexual escapades, but do you think I should stop taking this bullshit, Tess? I mean, it’s not worth it, right? My dignity must be worth more than a hundred extra bucks a night.”
My friend merely pops another Dorito into her mouth while chomping loudly.
“I honestly don’t know, Pais. I mean, how much do you earn babysitting?”
I wrinkle my nose.
“About eighteen bucks an hour.”
She nods.
“So a seven hour shift gets you, say, oh … a hundred thirty. Add another hundred to that, and you’re coming out with two hundred thirty in cash, right?”
I nod.
“Yup.”
Tess looks thoughtful.
“I mean, it’s up to you, girlfriend. Do you think you could find another gig that would pay as well?”
I snort.
“Of course not! Honestly, most college students earn way less than me slinging coffee and working retail. I’m making out like a bandit because of Mr. Landry. It’s just … well, he’s so handsome and yet I have to listen to his sexual escapades as he goes crazy banging all these different women. Woe is me,” I moan.
Tess winks at me.
