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I paced the floor over and over. I nearly smashed my phone into pieces when I saw that she had read all of my text messages, but never replied. The matter was serious, and it infuriated me that she didn’t have the guts to face me. Even as understanding as I was trying to be.
“What’s going on in here?”
Casey startled me as she walked into my study. She looked rough, like she had been crying and stressed out for months. Her hair was all wild; her clothes were baggy. It even looked like she’d lost a little weight.
“Nothing.” I cleared my throat and sat down at my desk. “Where have you been?”
She scoffed as she made her way over to my desk and sat down too. That was when I smelled the stench of day-old mimosas seeping from her pores.
“I’ve been at Mom’s.”
I laughed. “Yeah, how was that?”
“I’m back here, aren’t I?”
Casey rolled her eyes at me and folded her arms across her chest. She looked angry with me still, but I knew exactly why she was back home. Her mom wasn’t an easy woman to live with at all. She was sweet in the beginning, but after a while of crowding her space, she’d let you know she wanted you out.
I checked my phone again—to see if Ariane had finally replied—but there was nothing. I dropped my phone down on my desk and fell back into my chair. My hands immediately shot into the air out of frustration, prompting Casey to dig in.
“Is something the matter?”
I looked at my daughter. Not wanting to lie to her, and wanting some real advice, I prepared myself to speak the truth and let her know what was going on. However, when I sat up to say the words, I froze.
“Dad, you might as well just be honest with me. I already know what’s going on and it’s gone on long enough. I know I acted out of anger, but I don’t want some…” She bopped her head around to find the proper wording. “…young woman, to make our relationship toxic. So, whatever it is, just get it out there. That way we can talk about it and figure out to how move on from this weird-ass energy.”
I was surprised to hear her offer a solution to the way things were between us. Although it was my actions that had caused us to be here, Casey was stepping up and being the bigger person in the situation. For all of us. Ariane included.
“God, Casey,” I sighed. “This is a terrible situation. I mean, it really blows my mind to be here. I wish things were different, but honestly, I think I have feelings for Ariane. I know, I know, before you say it, that’s a terrible thing. But now…she’s pregnant.”
Casey's eyes widened when I mentioned a baby. She could barely control her breathing when the words fell from my lips. I felt the same way. When I’d laid eyes on Ariane in the elevator, I was stunned.
“Pregnant?” Casey spoke in a whisper. “Dad, this is insane. So, our next sibling will come from a woman my brother dated. Wow.”
We both sat back in our chairs trying to process the reality. I hated the way it sounded spoken out loud. But it was the reality. I needed help trying to find a way to move forward with things. Even if Ariane wouldn’t talk to me.
“It is crazy,” I nodded and agreed. “She won’t even talk to me about it. In fact, she didn’t even tell me. I ran into her today coming out of the doctor's office.”
“Wow, she’s just keeping all kinds of secrets. See, Dad? She makes it so hard for anyone to trust her. How do you even know the kid is yours?”
I wanted to agree with Casey’s statement and question it myself, but I knew better than that. Ariane may have kept some huge secrets from me, but I honestly didn’t believe she would go that far.
“I know it is. I can feel it. The way she looked at me when I saw her belly, I just knew. She ran away before I could talk to her though. And now she won’t even answer my calls or my texts. I don’t even know where she’s staying now.”
“That poor girl.” Casey shook her head. “Man. This must be a tough situation to be in. And I'm not trying to be funny, but I genuinely can’t imagine.”
My daughter had a lot of compassion for things, and she had a lot of distaste for others. I knew she was upset with me, and Ariane, but she honestly felt bad for us both. So did I. The only difference was that I was ready to face the music and move forward.
Chapter Twenty-one
Ariane
Astheweeksflewby and my belly got bigger, I fell deeper in love with the idea of becoming a mother. In the beginning I’d had major doubts about the direction my life was headed, but as time went on things got a little easier. I still hadn’t spoken to Logan since I ran out of the doctor's office. At times, I felt it was for the best. At others, I had no idea how to feel about him and our situation.
I got a random text from Casey one afternoon asking if we could meet up and talk about things. It was odd to me. After the way she had treated me and looked down her nose at me, I honestly didn’t want to talk to her about anything concerning my troubles with her father. Even though I felt like I was the cause of the trouble, I wanted her to mind her business and let Logan and I sort through things ourselves.
Instead of replying, I went into my garden to get my hands and feet dirty. Feeling the earth always made me feel better in my times of discouragement and confusion. It was as if the dirt between my toes grounded me a little more each time.
“Hey there, mother earth,” Trinity teased me as she made her way into my garden. “Out here catching some sun I see.”
