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“All the time.” I smiled. “I think the baby likes it too.”
“You’re still calling her the baby?” She chuckled. “When are you gonna give the girl a name already?”
Names just weren’t clicking for me. Most nights I would lay in bed trying to come up with something that fit, but nothing ever came to me. Nothing I liked anyway. I didn’t want to give my child an old lady name, or a name that was too common. I wanted something that fit our lives—her father’s and mine.
The other night, I’d imagined Logan helping me come up with a name as I lay on his lap waiting for our baby to move. I really missed him. I'm not sure if it was the hormones, but I’d been having wet dreams about him as well. I missed the feeling of his manhood inside me as he pushed deeper and deeper into me.
“I’m still thinking on it. Every time I think I have something I like, something else always steals the shine.”
Trinity understood me more than I understood myself at times. Especially while I was pregnant. I was more emotional than I normally was. Hungrier. More demanding. She often joked with me about her taking over Logan’s job whenever I would get in a nasty mood because of my cravings.
“So, Casey texted me earlier.”
“Oh yeah?” Trinity questioned. “And what did she want?”
“She said she wants to meet up to talk about everything.” I shrugged. “At first, I was completely against it, but—while I'm being mature—I guess it does affect her too. She is Logan’s daughter after all.”
“Yeah, she is. But I just don’t see why she has to have so much say-so. Logan is a grown man. Shit happens that throws us all off course, but you don’t see me all in the next person’s business as if it’s my own.”
I felt the same exact way Trinity felt. I understood why Casey felt the need to have an input, but it wasn't her business. When I really thought about it, though—like, really put my mind to work—I knew that Logan and me having a baby together would affect their entire family dynamic. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew that he and I needed to have a real discussion about our lives.
“Lucas is going to have a fit when he finds out,” Trinity laughed. “I can already see it. He'll probably never speak to his father again. And don’t get me wrong, it’s sad, but he deserves every bad thing that happens to him.”
“I’m over Lucas,” I sighed. “I don’t even wanna think about him and his reaction to this because I know it won’t be a good one. He does deserve a lot of karma, but I don’t wanna put my energy into wishing it upon him. I want a peaceful life. A peaceful birth. A peaceful everything.”
The conversation about Lucas was dropped after that. I had no room in my life for him, or anything concerning him. My logic made things quite complicated, being that Logan was his father. Sometimes I wished I could go back in time and erase the things Logan and I had done.
“I have to have a talk with Logan about this at some point before the baby comes. He keeps calling, but I don’t know, I just can’t pick up and face him. I don’t know what it is that has my nerves so shot about this, but I'm so undecided.”
“Logan is gonna hunt you down if you keep dodging him,” Trinity laughed. “I don’t take him for a man who will just let one of his children slip away. No matter how hard the mother tries to keep him away.”
“I know it!” I laughed too. “He really is a great father and I know he’ll love this one all the same, even if he and I don’t have a relationship.”
“Yeahhh, you lucked out with this one,” she said. “There are a lot of men out there who can’t even tell you what size shoes their children wear. And they don’t care!”
I couldn’t have agreed with Trinity more. Logan was a man who would be there for his child. A man with a sense of direction and goals in life. The money and fame had never mattered to me for an instant. As long as he was a father first and took care of his responsibilities, nothing else mattered.
Logan
“Harry, I need a favor.”
“Alright, what is it, boss?”
I couldn’t find out where Ariane was staying, or what she was doing for work—I couldn’t find anything. I thought she might have changed her name again, and that worried me. I needed to know for sure if she was pregnant with my child and if so, what we were going to do about it.
“You remember my assistant, Ariane?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “What about her?”
“I need you to find her and let me know where she is. I've been trying to reach her for some time now and I can’t get ahold of her. I know you’re in touch with people who can find anyone, so…”
Harry hadn’t been around his old crowd in a long time, so I hated to ask him that favor. But I was desperate. I could have easily hired a private investigator, but I wanted someone on the job who I knew personally. Someone I could trust to keep my secret safe. At least, until I knew for sure what I wanted to do.
“Alright.” He nodded again. “I’ll do my best.”
When he was gone from my office, I packed my briefcase and got ready for my meeting.
The rest of the day, I was completely out of focus. I could barely get through my meeting because my mind was everywhere except focused on the actual information being exchanged. Luckily enough, my new assistant made sure to record the conversation and was able to play things back to me.
