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At some point while I was knocked out from whatever concoction servant-Onah gave to me, I was changed into a plain, muddy colored garment. It’s comfortable enough, maybe even more so than my normal stiff, layered attire. My lips remain in a firm line as we begin our walk from the privacy of the trees. I refuse to let Aldren know that I don’t mind my new clothes— maybe even like them.
My eyes flitter again to the forest around me. How easy it would be to run. All I would have to do is make a decision, and start moving my feet.
“I wouldn’t recommend it, Lena. I may not look like much, but I’m fast. And I would rather not have to break a sweat this afternoon.” He reads my thoughts with ease. Am I that predictable?
I look him over. He would most definitely catch me if I tried to make an escape while he was standing so close to me. He isn’t as tall as Roan, but his pants are stretched to accommodate thick, sturdy legs. His sleeved shirt is rolled up just passed his forearm, revealing a strong grip and what I imagine to be chiseled brawn underneath the rest of his clothes. Parker sends a wink my way when he catches me staring, obviously unaffected by my perusal.
I scowl at his arrogance. “I’m not stupid, Aldren. I have no idea where we are, no sense of which direction to even run, and I have no food or water. I wouldn’t make it far even if I tried.” I may not make it very far, but I’m fully aware that braving the wilderness is leaps and strides above being forced and tortured into a prison. Parker has given little away as to where we’re going, but my gut tells me it’s nowhere I want to call home.
We start our short walk back to the wagon, me taking the lead so he can keep an eye on me. Our conversation silences as we focus on the short task of returning to the road.
I shouldn’t have spoken so much to him, revealed so much about my distaste of royal expectations. Our quiet steps leave plenty of room for the soft hum of embarrassment to echo around me.Stupid girl.
The ground is littered with small plants and fallen trees, making our path in and out of the forest irregular and scattered. I’m sure I take the longest way, both from inexperience in the outdoors and a desire to stretch my legs as long as possible.
There are mere moments before we break through the tree-line when I hear a cracking sound and an accompanyingoof!afterward. I turn to find Parker on the ground, his foot somehow wedged in a small crevice of two fallen trunks underneath him. He pulls a couple times, unable to effortlessly break free from nature’s trap.
He laughs uneasily. “Well this is new,” he mumbles to himself. “Lena, would you—”
An idea forms quickly in my mind. I look to the road, confirming Onah’s sleeping form still crumpled in the wagon. There may be only a single breath before he’s free.
“Don’t,” he states, all his jollity wiped away in his penetrating stare. All his features pull into a seriousness that I've yet to see on Parker Aldren. He looks fierce, like a panther stalking its game.A trapped panther. My stomach leaps in wicked delight.
I turn and run.
“Lena!” A determined scream follows after me.
I don’t turn back. I don’t think. I focus on my surroundings, making sure each pounding step finds firm ground. A sudden energy pumps through me, tunneling my vision and concentration. Stray branches and thick shrubbery pull at my skirts, scratching along my arms and ankles. One swipes across my face, the sting making my eyes water. I quickly blink it away, numbing it against my intense concentration.
My heart is throbbing in my chest, the unusual exertion and anxiousness building into heaving breaths.I’m going to do it. I’m going to make it. I will move deep into the woods, then figure out the rest. There’s no plan, just a profound need to be free. Free of Onah and Aldren. But as I push harder and harder, that need evolves.
I want to be unchained from everything, from everyone. I want to make my own choices, to choose things for myself— not because I’m supposed to, or because my parents find it in my best interest. I know there’s a country, people depending on me and my family, people outside of myself that need a good leader. But is it too much to ask— too much to even ask me if I want it? Years of unshed tears and emotion tug somewhere deep inside.
Footsteps sound behind me, pushing me over the edge.No. No. No. I shake my head, willing it to just be my fear wanting me to slow and give up. How could he have caught up so soon?
I will never be free, and that thought alone leadens my feet. The chains of royalty and duty will hold me for the rest of my life. The bondage of someone else’s demands.
Evander left me here alone, pushing me into a position I never wanted. And that single idea, blaming my dead brother, someone whom I would pay any price to hug and touch and talk to one last time, pulls the final thread of anguish looming under the surface.
The tears don’t stop.
Parker is close enough that he no longer needs to shout. “Lena, stop. Please,” his voice pleads.
Hopelessness halts my progression through the woods. No matter how hard I try, I will never get away. A moment of hope and independence will always lead back to chains.
Leaves crunch underneath me as I fall to the forest floor, unable to hold back my crushing heart as my hands and knees give way underneath me, landing me sprawled in the dirt. Twigs and stems mold into my soft skin. With each hiccuping breath I take in the fresh smell of the woodlands— its scent both grounding me back to the moment and reminding me how I will never have this small moment of freedom again.
Warm arms wrap around me as my tears continue to flow unhindered. Fingers swipe away the wet, plastered hair from my face and dust away the debris of dried leaves, dirt, and bark. These hands are both calloused and soft, a contradiction that I don’t try to make sense of. I pull on the shirt of the man in front of me as I bury my face into his chest as far as it will go. Sobs wrack through my body, and I feel the warm arms pull me in tighter.
It feels like I’ve been crying for hours before calmness finally reaches me, and my tears run dry. An aching head and dry throat are left in the aftermath. I want to apologize, to make an excuse for my untoward behavior. But I don’t have the energy left to open my mouth, or to care about how I must appear to this man. A defeat I’ve felt only once before— losing to death as I stood beside my brother’s grave— fills me once again.
“We need to get back before Onah wakes. Can you walk?” Parker asks me.
I nod, trying to separate my face from his hard chest, his shirt sticking to my cheek as I pull away. I try to stand, but my shaking legs give way, and I stumble forward onto my hands and knees. He wraps a hand around my arm, gently lifting me as I try again. Once I’m upright, his arm sweeps underneath me, picking me up and cradling me against him. The fight in me has been replaced by exhaustion, and I don’t protest. I rest my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes as he makes our way back through the trees. I hardly register the walk back, drifting in and out of my groggy misery.
“What happened? I woke up to you screaming the girl’s name,” Onah pries as we move back into sight of the road. Everything is bleary as I attempt to open my eyes at her voice.
“A boar came out of nowhere, scared her half to death. She has a few cuts and scrapes as she tried to get out of its way. I’ll attend to her while you drive,” Parker tells her.
