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I’m kneeling on the floorboard with Neomi flat on the back seat. I pick up her arm draped over her stomach to find the bullet entry. Heavy blood seeps from the wound and gushes through my fingers when I apply pressure to it with my hand.
I awkwardly slip my blazer off one arm and then replace my hand on Neomi’s stomach with my free one to shrug out of my blazer completely. Water drips from every inch of my face as I press the jacket to her wound. When I realize that’s not enough pressure, I rise, keeping one knee on the floorboard and leaning the other into her injury.
She coughs a few times and whimpers.
Her soaking wet body shivers.
My stomach knots in agony, as I know she’s in pain.
“Move, motherfuckers,” my father yells, blaring his horn while weaving through traffic.
“Come on, baby,” I plead, shaking as I run my free hand over her cold cheek.
Stay alive for me.
Please don’t leave me.
My eyes water.
A heart I never knew existed crumbles in my chest.
I stare up and beg God to take me instead.
I deserve it. Not her.
I’m the villain in this story.
The darkness. The bad guy.
Let the good stay and take the evil.
I promised Neomi I wouldn’t leave her alone in this world, but I should’ve made her promise me the same.
My father swerves into the front of the emergency room, and I swing the door open. He circles the car and assists me in taking her out. I’m covered in blood, grass, and mud as I race into the hospital with Neomi in my arms.
* * *
“I’m sorry, son,”my father says, stopping beside me.
I don’t look at him.
I can’t seem to peel my gaze away from the door while waiting for a doctor to update me on Neomi. A rush of torment pierces through me as I imagine my life without her. I didn’t even realize she’d become such a vital part of my life.
I’ve never been a praying man, but I haven’t stopped begging the man above to save her.
I swore I’d burst into flames if God ever heard me mutter a word to him after all my sins. But here I am, a sinner, not asking for forgiveness for my wrongdoings, but asking for a favor.
That sounds even more ridiculous.
But it’s a grace I’d give up anything for.
A favor to save someone I love.
Love.
My heart twists.
Once my mother died, she took any source of my love with her. I saw what losing my mother did to my father, and I promised myself I’d never fall in love. Because having it and losing it is the worst pain ever. One that can bring even the most powerful man to his knees.
