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In the silence, I could look at my coach. My friend. I held his hand in mine like we were about to arm wrestle.
“Hey coach,” I said, in a whisper. “I don’t know if you can hear me.” No reaction. “Probably not, right?” I put my other hand over his, trying to get them to warm up.
Alastair was right; I couldn’t move him. I reached out and felt the blanket over his abdomen and felt the stiff bandage underneath.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling a tear come down the side of my nose, catching on my top lip. “I should have thrown it.”
I put my forehead on his hand, rubbing it against his index finger, willing to feelsomething. To feel the comfort of the hands that had patched me up after so many fights.
“I should have thought about you, instead of myself. I should have let Morosov win.”
I felt a twitch on his finger. My head jerked up, and I looked at his face.
Maybe I was wishful thinking, or even hallucinating, but his brow seemed creased. Like he was disapproving. As if he didn’t like what I was saying.
I ran a hand over his forehead, and the creases around his eyes relaxed in a matter of millimeters.
“I’m fighting for you, Ajax.” I said his seldom used first name. “When you’re healed, Jericho and I will come back for you.”
Again, the corners of his lips moved. It was barely noticeable. Maybe the change was the width of a strand of hair. It looked like relief. Then it faded away, and his face froze again.
Chapter 20
Alastair
Iwaitedinthehallway, leaning on the wall with my hands clasped at my lower back. I looked at the ceiling and leaned the crown of my head on the wall.
What the fuck was I doing?
I knocked my head against the wall.
I knew why I hadn’t tasted her lips until today.I knew that if I tasted her mouth, the world would change. I’d see everything with Rose colored glasses. She’d be everywhere and everything all at once. She was engraving herself into my soul.
The door opened, and she stepped out. Her face was a mask again. Her eyes were blank, and I hated it. I hated the wall she’d erect between us. I wanted to smash it down.
I now knew of one way to lower her defenses. It involved touching that sweet cunt and making her scream. Next time, I’d make her scream my name so loud, and so often, that she’d only orgasm with Alastair on her lips.
I groaned, feeling the heat pooling to my cock. I was ready to have her again. And again. And again. Until we fell asleep in a heap, connected by our most intimate parts.
“What do you want with him?” she asked.
“Iwant nothing from him.” I corrected her. “But Eoghan wants to convince him to train his soldiers. At the very least, he wants to undermine the bratva by having him stay alive in his protection.”
She nodded, the wheels in her head turning.
I saw my knife in her hands. Her eyes were on the handle, staring at my initials. She offered it to me.
“You should take this back.” Her voice was nervous.
She seemed reluctant to give it to me. I placed my hand on top of hers and pushed it back toward her and shook my head.
“Keep it. Use it in good health.”
She held it close to her chest and looked at me with glassy eyes. What was going on in that head of hers? Probably a lot of things, if I was totally honest. But what was putting that look on her face?
“I’ll take you home,” I offered.
She shook her head. “I’ll show myself out.”
