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Action. Even a simple e-mail from Max would give him something to do. He would settle for anything that would make him shut up before his rambling mouth pushed her away for good. “A house on the water is out of my price range, but then with Austin around, it wouldn’t really be safe or practical long-term, anyway. Buying an older home, we can get more space, but then I don’t want you to be stuck dealing with the extra repairs when I’m TDY.”
“Daniel.”
“Yeah, ’Lise?”
“Slow down.” Her hand fell to his arm.
“Oh, yeah, right.” He dropped onto a bar stool, his booted foot twitched on the lowest rung. Tap. Tap.
“I didn’t mean your pacing.”
“Oh.” He frowned. What had he been saying anyway? Something about house hunting, an attempt at making something happen to relieve the stretched-taut inaction when what he really wanted was to nail McRae to the wall.
And to make Mary Elise stay. Houses. Duh. His subconscious was having a field day with him. Way to steam-roll the woman. “Hang on a second. I think I know what I’m supposed to say here. Uh, what kind of house doyouwant?”
She perched on the other stool beside him, her hands gliding up his thighs in an obvious attempt to distract him. “Danny, this isn’t the time to take such a big step with life decisions.”
“Why not?” His frustrations swelled to the surface, inconvenient when he knew calm would work better. But his feelings for Mary Elise were anything but placid. “Is it my job? I know the gun safe and the traps freaked you out. I realize I’m not offering you much of a deal here, but I’ll do my best to make it work for you. I can even back off the secret stuff, stick with more straightforward missions.”
He trailed his fingers down a strand of her auburn hair as if he could bind her to him, pull her slim body to him and give her something to do with their mouths so she would quit worrying her rings in circles around her fingers.
“It’s not your job. God, I know it’s a part of you.” She stroked up to his chest, tracing his collar, dipping inside to hook in his dog tags, tug him forward. “And if this past year has taught me anything, I know that life is dangerous no matter what you do. We should live to the fullest.”
“Exactly.” He manacled her wrist in his grip. “I understand that logic and facts indicate I’m not the best bet for the long haul, but determination can’t be gauged. I’m determined to make this work. So why are you holding back from me again?”
Her hand fell to her lap. “Why is it that if someone doesn’t go along with your way, then they’re holding back?”
Echoes of other arguments pummeled him, nose-to-nose battles with his father, defensive confrontations with the squadron commander. Except those had been different situations. “Do you love me?”
Where had that come from? His dream.
“Yes,” she said.
Say it back, dumb ass. “Then what exactly did I offer up that was so terrible? A house?” He fished in his sleeve pocket and pulled out the solitaire. “Or God forbid I should give you a ring.”
He held it with two fingers, a silent question between them. Say it back, Baker. His mouth stayed closed. She folded her hands over his, held his hands in hers without taking the ring. At least she wasn’t shoving it in his face. Yet.
“Danny, think. I told you I love you. And I know you love me, too, even if you can’t push the words out. I hear you, anyway. I only asked for space.” She knocked on his forehead. “Hello? Why does it have to be all or nothing, black or white with you?”
“Seems pretty clear cut to me. Yeah, you’re right.” He said the words, ridiculous to hide from them, anyway. “I love you, too. So either you want to marry me or you don’t.”
The words burned his throat, but they were out there like a big purple polka-dot elephant between them they’d been trying to ignore all morning.
“It’s not as simple as a ring and love, or everything would have worked out eleven years ago. Why are you just assuming that if my timetable doesn’t fit yours I must not want you at all? Maybe I want to take the next two months and go ice fishing.”
“Do you?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. And that’s my whole point. You’re pushing too hard, too fast for me right now. I’m not like you, jumping in feet first. All I’m asking is that we table this discussion, and then take it slow once we get back to it again. Okay?”
The computer dinged behind him with incoming mail. He’d wanted answers from Max, but why couldn’t the guy have hit send on the e-mail five minutes prior and saved him from landing in this nightmare of a conversation? How many times did this woman have to shove the ring back in his face before he got the message?
Daniel jammed the solitaire in his pocket and opened the post from Max. “Ammar has entered the U.S. Wren and I have the boys locked down and safe.”
Trey and Austin’s uncle in the States? Warning bells clanged in his mind, louder, until he realized they were merely an echo of the alarm from the security computer.
Someone had breached the first line of defense.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
