Page 39 of Dangerous Control


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“Definitely,” said Juliet.

“No, it’s okay.”Just wait a minute, while I try to process the image of Milo slapping you hard enough to anger your boyfriend, and you liking it.

“He wasn’t hitting me that hard. It was kinky fun, but Devin has issues around abuse.”

Juliet broke in. “Everyone has issues around abuse at The Gallery, because that’s not what BDSM is about.”

“Now you said the name of it.” Ella shook a finger at her friend, then turned to me. “Please forget you heard that.”

“Excuse me for being shaken up that you would tell Alice about that whole debacle with Dev.” Juliet covered her eyes, then took a breath. “Believe me, it wasn’t abusive slapping, and that’s not the only thing Milo does there, go around slapping women across the face.”

“And when he played with the two of us, that’s all it was—play. There was no emotional attachment. It was just kinky stuff, because I was with Devin, and Juliet has been in love with Fort since way before she met Milo.”

“So he’s played with both of you?”

Now Juliet was blushing too. “Yeah. A handful of times. Literally, I can count on one hand the number of times.”

“We don’t really like to play with him, because he’s so…” Ella paused. “So hard to play with. He’s not afraid to leave bruises, or, you know, make you gag and cry. But he only plays as hard as you can take. He never did anything to Juliet or me that was too much. When he wants to do really extreme stuff, he plays with women who enjoy that kind of scening.”

“Right,” Juliet agreed. “The Dominants at The Gallery have a code they follow too, their own set of rules they self-enforce. To be members, they have to agree not to take more than any sub is willing to give, and to never, ever fuck with the vulnerable. That’s a big one, to only bring women to The Gallery who can handle it.” She paused, probably thinking that I was iffy in that regard. “Milo’s always been really careful about picking partners. He ends up with the wildest subs because they want a Dom with his intensity. It’s always consensual, even if the club’s a ‘no safe word’ environment. He’s so conscientious, Alice, so particular about only playing with women who can handle him.”

Women who can handle him.In other words, women who weren’t me.I’m not rejecting you,he’d told me.I’m trying to protect you.We didn’t have a future because he thought I’d never be able to enjoy the things he was into.

“I’m glad you came here to talk to me about this,” I said, close to tears. “It was hard to hear, but at least I understand now. He didn’t tell me any of this, he just said we wouldn’t work out.”

“Do you love him?” asked Juliet.

I blinked at her. “Of course I do. I suppose I always will, on some existential level. Does that matter now?”

“I’m only asking because I wasn’t that hardcore when I met Fort. I mean, I never would have considered going to a place with those crazy rules, but I fell for him so hard that I gave it a try, and I ended up being more into it than I expected.”

“That’s true,” said Ella. “You might never be into the edgiest stuff he likes, but if you go up the kink ladder to meet him, maybe he can come down to meet you, and you can connect somewhere in the middle.”

I frowned. “Not sure I want him to have to go backwards for me.”

“He would, though,” said Juliet. “I heard him talking to Fort. I heard the pain in his voice.” She touched me with her sparkling-ring hand. “No love is perfect, you know? There are always compromises. Milo’s rarely the compromising type, but I’m sure he’d do it for you.”

Ella let out a soft sigh. “Well, we’ve given you a lot to think about. We’ll get out of your hair, but if you need anything, or if you have any problems with the apartment, you have my number.”

“Thanks.”

We all stood, me and the two other women Milo had “scened” with. I thanked them again at the door, for their candor, and for their clarification of Milo’s issues. I understood now why he’d never confide the extent of his BDSM life to me. Because yes, I would have tried anything to win his heart. I would have put on the sexy uniform and collar and given myself to other men if that’s what he required to make things work. I might not have liked it, but I would have done it. He wasn’t only protecting me from him, when he shot down our continuing relationship.

He was protecting me from myself.

Chapter Thirteen: Milo

Iwas workinglate when my phone rang, flashing Fort’s name. I put down the delicate body of Alice’s violin, only recently assembled and glued. “What’s up?” I asked.

“Hey, Milo. Are you on speaker?”

“No.”

“So…” He paused. I could hear a soft female whine over the connection. “I have a bad little subbie here beside me, confessing that she tried to make things better between you and Alice, and may have ended up making things worse.”

I imagined him twisting her nipple, drawing out those whining cries. “You’d better start at the beginning,” I said.

“I guess Juliet overheard some of our conversation the other night.”

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