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“Sometimes. Most of them you kind of know.”
“You guys were shared like that?” When they nodded, a thousand questions sprang to my mind. “What—How—?”
“It’s just the way things are there, the bawdy atmosphere. It’s a very free place, and everyone shares the same kinks. All the guys are sadist Doms, and the women are masochistic subs. Most of them get off on being passed around.”
“It sounds worse than it is,” said Ella, jumping in.
“Anyway, that’s what happens there,” Juliet said. “And Milo’s into that, but he’s pretty sure you wouldn’t be. It stresses him out a lot.”
“Do you still go? With Fort?” I stared in disbelief at her engagement ring.
“Sometimes we go, and sometimes he invites other people into our scenes, men and women. We have to be in a certain mood, but it can be exciting. You don’t think so, though,” she said, reading my face. “And Milo’s aware of that. He told Fort he didn’t want to get into a deeper relationship with you for fear you’d get freaked out at all his perversions.”
“What are the other rules?” Now that I’d heard a couple of them, I needed to know them all. I needed to know what I was dealing with here, when it came to Milo’s “perversions.”
“Let’s see,” said Ella. “Rule three, no safe words allowed.”
“No safe words? That’s not acceptable. It’s not safe, sane, and consensual if you can’t end a scene.”
“It’s kind of a fetish thing,” said Juliet. “And it’s acceptable to people who are into playing that way. It’s called consensual non-consent.”
“But…” I’d never heard of this consensual non-consent thing in my research. “If they’re doing real BDSM, they have to use safe words, right?”
“What’s real BDSM, though?” asked Juliet. “Every woman who goes to the club signs a form at the door agreeing to the rules, including the non-use of safe words. As long as everyone gets off on it, it’s okay.”
I wanted to argue, but I felt my lack of experience while I searched for the right words. Could she be right? I didn’t know. I was a beginner. I had no idea things like “no safe words” could even go on. “What else?” I asked.
“There’s a uniform,” said Juliet. “Rule four is that all the women have to wear it.”
“Your tits and ass hang out.” Ella grinned. “But it is pretty flattering in a harness-corset kind of way.”
“I like the stockings.”
“Oh, yes,” said Ella. “And the collar.”
“You have to wear a collar?” I asked.
“All women wear the same uniform and collar, in order to show their submission to the men. And the last rule is just that you have to follow the other rules, or you aren’t allowed to play there. The whole thing is very gothic-pervert, but when you’re in the club and everyone’s scening together, you get turned on. You can’t help it.”
“Well…” Juliet regarded me with sympathy. “Most people get turned on.”
I didn’t know what to think. I remembered Milo’s pained expression when I’d talked about Underworld, thinking I was so “in the know.” He must have been trying not to laugh.
“This is a lot to take in,” I said, as the silence lengthened. “But thank you for telling me. I understand now why he felt like…like I might not get into that side of him.”
“He didn’t want to hurt you,” Juliet said. “He kept repeating that to Fort, that he wanted you so much, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He wants to preserve the friendship you’ve had all these years. He told Fort it was ‘so pure.’ He wants to keep being your friend, Alice. That’s why he regrets things going as far as they did.”
It’s too dangerous. I’m afraid you don’t really understand the sexual sadism thing.That’s what he’d told me after he took me to his dungeon, tormented me, fucked me in the ass.
“What are…” I swallowed hard, not knowing how to ask. “What are the worst things he likes to do there? Like, the most extreme stuff?”
Ella and Juliet exchanged a glance, and Ella said, “Oh, Alice, it’s nothing criminal. It’s not extreme in a BDSM sense. He’s not killing women or anything.”
It didn’t reassure me that “he’s not killing women” was their initial qualifier. “What is he doing to women, then?” I asked.
“He’s a sadist, a hardcore sadist,” said Juliet. “Like, not in a cute, slap and tickle, sugar-coated kind of way. He’s not into fur paddles and pink ball gags. He likes to get a pain reaction, and make his partners cry. He likes to gang up on women who are already being dominated, so they’ll hurt worse. He uses whips, clamps, uncomfortable bondage. He slaps women and chokes them.”
“He slapped me so many times once that Devin beat him up,” added Ella. “I mean, I was enjoying it.” A flush rose beneath her neck and cheeks. “I’m sorry, I’m making things worse.”
