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“Getting drunker.” He sighs. “I’d explain it to you, but…it’s not really my place.”
“But he’s okay?” My chest is so tight. I can’t breathe. I’ve had panic attacks before and this feels like the start of one. “Everything is okay?”
“Not fucking really.” He groans. “But it’s not your problem, so don’t worry about it.”
Easier said than done. “Should I—”
“No. He’ll call you when he’s ready.” He hangs up on me.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes. No. I…” shake my head. “He’ll call me.”
I black out my screen and put my phone down so I can concentrate on organizing the jewelry.
So much has happened in such a short amount of time.
I’ve gone ahead and fallen in love with Rogue Maddox. I’ve made new friends. I’ve grown a backbone. So I have some control issues. No doubt I’m always going to want to stand on my own two feet now that I can. I’m probably always going to be uncomfortable meeting new people or letting them see just how easily they could hurt me. And I am never going to be able to throw my best friend under the bus for my own happiness. But I also can’t let Rogue hurt alone. Especially if it’s because of me.
Rebel said it wasn’t, but can I trust him like Rogue seems to believe I can? I’m still not sure.
“Ivy? Babe?” Adira asks.
“Huh?” I’m staring at the rings in front of me. At some point I even picked up the gaudy engagement ring I wore the day Uma Cookie got married.
“I was saying…” Adira searches my face before he turns his attention to marking where he’s going to drill new holes for the extra shelving we decided we needed for his shoes. “You haven’t seemed yourself recently. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“It’s nothing.” I put the ring back in its velvet slot.
“Nothing is when you’re really hankering for one of those jam filled, chocolate iced donuts you like,” he says. “And even that is something. I’m your best friend, babe. Do you really think I can’t tell when you’re overthinking something?”
“It’s just…” I sigh. I want to ask him about Christian Dakota, but how? He’ll know as soon as I do that Alec was involved.
Would it be so bad to let Adira square off with Alec?
Yes, yes it would be. Alec doesn’t care who he hurts. He only cares about himself. He’d ruin Adira. And then strike at Rogue just to get back at me for telling Adira in the first place.
“Just what?” Adira presses a hand to his hip. “Don’t leave me hanging here, girl.”
“Dr. Keller is going on vacation.” I start picking up each piece of jewelry and checking for damage, before putting it back in its separate space. The words rolled off my tongue almost too easily, probably because they are true. But I’m sure he’d see it in my eyes that I’m avoiding what’s really behind my unease. “I met the guy who is taking over our sessions today.”
“Oh. Was that good? Did you like him?”
“I don’t know.” I frown as I slide that drawer into place and pull out the next one. He seemed familiar in a way I was equal parts comfortable and uncomfortable with. Like it felt like I knew him, but I kept getting that clawing at my throat sensation, like he wasn’t quite right. But then I get that with Dizzy and I’m pretty sure my only problem with her is she’s too peppy. “I guess he was okay. Not what I expected.”
“In a good or bad way?”
“Both.” This drawer is full of watches. It’s much quicker to organize than the rings. “Dr. Keller thinks I don’t want to lose my virginity because I have control issues.”
“Hmm.” He unholsters his drill and drives the drill bit into the plaster.
“You agree?” I pop a hand on my hip. I agree, but that’s not the point. I was hoping Adira would have a different take on the situation. “I want to have sex.”
“Of course you do, honey.” He drills the second hole in the wall. “Who wouldn’t want to have that man pile drive them into a soggy, satisfied mess?”
“We almost did it last night,” I admit.
The drill turns silent and he glances over his shoulder. “What stopped you?”
