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“We had an argument.” He exhales audibly. His brow draws in as he glances at his left hand.
“Why did we argue?” I latch onto one of the questions the reporters asked as we’d left the hospital. They’d asked about some woman he was caught with only days before I ended up in the hospital. “Did you cheat on me?”
“God, baby.” He reaches for me but drops his hands to his sides when I take a step back. He shakes his head. “It’s not that simple.”
So he did? He must have if he can’t be straight with me. “It’s not a no.”
“It’s not a yes. There was a kiss.”
“Why are you being so evasive?” It must have been bad if I moved out. I don’t see me anywhere in this apartment. Except the Pop-Tarts that he dropped on the counter when we first entered the kitchen. They’re still there… the carton on its side. “You kissed someone else while we were married. Why would you do that?”
“Because I made a dumb choice.” There’s a bitterness to his words that is like cold water to the face. “One I deeply regret.”
“That doesn’t explain anything.” It only leaves me more confused. Did I leave him because of the kiss? Did he try to stop me? Is that why I have these bruises? Did it escalate from there? Is my mother right about him? I move onto another wall with more artwork and more things I don’t remember. But at least it gives me space. Would I have been better off not leaving the hospital with him?
“Your brother—"
“What does my brother have to do with you kissing another girl?” What does Alec have to do with any of it? He’s not the important issue here. He’s not… relevant. I wipe at my forehead as it grows clammy. I’m too cold to be sweating.
“You really should sit down.”
I need to sit down before I fall down. Instead I lift my chin. “Tell me what my brother has to do with us.”
He opens his mouth as though he’s going to answer me, but changes his mind. He runs a hand through his hair and his fingers shake. “I think it would be better if we came back to this conversation later.”
“Fine.” I reach out to grab the back of a nearby leather chair before I sag. I need a chance to compose myself. There’s so much I don’t know that brought us to this moment. We’re not even on the same page.
“I need a cigarette.” He moves to the door that leads out onto a balcony complete with an infinity pool.
“I want my phone.”
“I don’t have it.” He stops on the threshold. “It must be at Adira’s.”
“Then take me there,” I demand. I guess time isn’t the only thing that changed. I’m different too. It wasn’t that long ago I wouldn’t have been able to talk to him at all. Would have been too shy to say what I needed to say. I still feel timid, but somehow I manage to voice what I need to without stuttering.
“Not a fucking chance.” He growls the words like just the idea has his hackles up.
“Then I’ll take myself.” I turn on my heel and head for the elevator. I need to see Adira and I need answers. I need to know all the gory details. Even if they feel like they happened to somebody else.
“The hell you will.” He clasps my upper arm before I manage three steps.
I stop and glance up into determined blue orbs and a concrete jaw. His fingertips press into my flesh. “Let me go.”
His eyes flare and he eases his grip immediately. “You’re not leaving the apartment, Ivy. You’re definitely not going back there.”
“I don’t think you understand that I am only here because it was better than the alternative of dealing with my mother.” I try to hide the quake in my voice. “This isn’t permanent. Whatever we had between us is gone.”
I have had such beautiful fantasies about this man but the reality is very different. He’s not who I thought he was. He’s a stranger. He’s also the man who most likely broke my heart, even if I don’t remember it.
“If that’s the only reason.” He holds me against him for a moment before he lets me go. “Then it’s enough for now. You’re not leaving the apartment without me, Ivy. You can’t. I have security posted in the foyer. I’ve hired you a bodyguard.”
“You’re telling me I don’t have a choice?” The thought gives me goose bumps, and not the good kind. Did I exchange one person running my life for another? “I might as well still be on lockdown.”
“No.” There’s hurt in his voice. “Yes. Just for now. I need you to be protected, Ivy. I can’t do that if I let you leave.”
“Protected from what?” From myself? Because he’s scared of what I’m capable of? What I almost managed to do before he found me and got medical help? If the sadness in his gaze is anything to go by that’s exactly his reasoning. “Let me go to Adira’s, and I promise, I’ll be safe there too. He’s my best friend and he’s always had my back.”
He’s the only person I know I can trust. The only person in our family that I know that my dad trusted to be on my side. He’ll tell me what really happened between me and Rogue.
