Page 49 of Madd Love


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My legs are quaking underneath me. I use the wall to brace myself so I don’t melt into a puddle of goo at his feet.

“I can’t change it, though God knows I wish I could. But I am sorry. And I will do everything it takes to make us all right again.”

“Except explain why.”

“You need to trust me,” he says. “Or don’t trust me, but be patient with me and yourself. You’ve been through a massive trauma, baby. We can’t fix everything in a day. Just don’t say it’s over when it’s obvious that’s not what you want.”

“It is what I want.” Breathing heavily, I slide from between him and the wall. My muscles shake from the intense orgasm.

“The fact that you’re hurting says it’s not.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” I don’t want to admit that he might have a point. I don’t need my memories to see why I was so drawn to him then. I’m drawn to him now.

“Yeah, baby.” He sounds almost sad. “I’m calling you a liar.”

Well, I might be a liar, but he’s the one sneaking around with another woman. “You still haven’t told me what you were doing with Marty Kendall.”

“Marty Kendall and I barely get along, Ivy. I’ve held a grudge with her for years. You do not have to worry about me and Marty. Ever.” He chuckles but when he stops he winces like he’s still hiding something. “I will never hurt you like that again, baby. I promise. You’re it for me. There are no women in the world as far as I’m concerned. I jeopardized us once and not having you in my life killed me. Marty means nothing to me.”

His reassurances feel empty because it’s obvious that he’s holding something back. That’s why my heart seems to shrink. “That’s what I thought.”

“Ivy—”

“I want to go home.”

Chapter Seventeen

Rogue

Thatfuckerisouton bail.

Somebody somewhere doesn’t believe Alec represents a big enough risk to keep him locked up until his trial. Nicole Hawthorne put up the money. Of course there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for that bastard. And then she hired an entire publicity team to help convince the world he’s innocent while simultaneously making Ro look like she decided that she wanted to be treated like that.

That bastard is anything but innocent. When they lock him up for what he did to Ro they should throw away the key.

Sweat drips in my eyes as I power down the treadmill. Just a few miles to take the edge off my frustrations. Nothing overly strenuous.

I’ve been saving those workouts for the middle of the night since I can’t sleep. I’m not sure I’ll ever have another good night’s sleep again. Not as long as Alec Hawthorne is on the loose and hurting people I care about. Not as long as I dream about Narnia and see blood all over my hands.

The fact that he probably hurt Ivy too… With the way she reacts whenever his name is mentioned, it’s hard to believe he isn’t somehow involved in how Ivy ended up with a cracked rib and a broken wrist. It’s not that much of a stretch to imagine he went even further and attempted to murder his own sister. Or organized someone to do it for him?

At least when he’s in jail he won’t have to worry about what I’ll do to him. Because if I ever get confirmation on my theory I will want him to feel every ounce of pain he inflicted on my woman.

But without a smidge of evidence or Ivy’s memory resurfacing all Adira and I have is conjecture. It’s not enough to get the cops involved. And at the moment there’s too much public interest on him to beat a confession out of him.

And too many people who would assume that Nicole was right to label me violent and abusive. There are still plenty of people out there who think I hurt Ivy. That I should be in prison because I’m the kind of man who beats on his wife. And that she would be safer with Nicole.

At some point will she start thinking that way? Her looking at me like I’m the enemy is killing me. It sucks giant donkey dick.

I’m torn between wanting Ivy to remember what happened to her that night, and not wanting her to have to suffer through it again. She almost passed out when Summer brought him up two nights ago.

“You all right, lover boy?” Adira stands in the doorway to my workout room. He has his suitcase beside him and a package in his arms. “This came for you earlier. I forgot to tell you before the show.”

I take the thickly padded envelope and open it. Inside are two ring boxes. I ordered them days ago just in case I needed them to convince Nicole to stay out of our business. Or at least that’s what I told myself instead of the truth, which is that I hoped Ivy would ask for her make-believe wedding band so I could see what it would look like to have my ring on her finger.

Instead, for the past couple of days we’ve sidled past each other in the hallway. And we make coffee in silence because the only thing she has to say to me is that she wants to go back to Adira’s apartment.

Of course that’s a no go. And Adira agreed with me. He talked her around to staying that first night. And I’m sure several times since.

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