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I hate that she hates being here. I want her to be comfortable. And I want to go back to flirting and bonding with her, but the words to fix things escapes me. I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t ask to end this pretend marriage.
“You should probably tell her the truth sooner rather than later.” Adira takes one of the red leather boxes from my hand and pries the lid open. His mouth turns down a little more. “She would love this.”
“I figured.” Outside of the apartment our marriage has taken on a life of its own. At home we couldn’t be more distant.
I shove the boxes back in the package and toss it on top of the shelving unit that holds gloves and wraps and other workout necessities.
I shouldn’t have shown him. Adira’s been Switzerland in the cold war between me and Ivy. But at some point he will choose to set her straight on what the status of our relationship actually is. All I can think is when he does, I’ll lose her for sure. “Where are you headed?”
“Visiting a friend.” He grips the handle of the suitcase.
“Now?”
“Late flight,” he says.
“Are you sure this is the best time for you to be leaving Ivy?” I’m surprised that he would, actually.
“Chris needs me more,” he says. “His caregiver lost his mother and they’re struggling to find a temporary replacement, so I volunteered.”
“I can’t say that I see you in that role,” I say.
“Me either.” His grin is flashy and doesn’t hide the darkness in his gaze. “But it’s the very least I can do and nowhere near what I should do.”
“Cryptic,” I say. “How long will you be gone?”
“For a week. Perhaps a little longer,” he says. “I think, when I get back, it’s time I move to my own place. Deal with Narnia. In case…”
“She’s not moving back there.” I grab a towel and scrub the sweat from my face.
“You might not have a choice.”
I thump my fist on the top of the lockers. “As long as we don’t know what role Alec played in what happened, and he’s free to go wherever he wants, she’ll be staying here. I don’t trust him any more than I trust Nicole. This is the best option for her.”
Adira raises a brow at my outburst. “I get it, but—"
“I can keep her safe,” I add as I focus on calming the fear that rears up inside me. “You know I can. It’s why she’s still here, isn’t it? You’ve tried to talk her out of leaving. Convinced her to hang in there a little bit longer each time she’s tried to walk these past couple of days.”
“I don’t know what else to do.” He sighs. “I’m worried if I take her home it could traumatize her worse than she already is. I can barely stomach walking past that room. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it will be for her.”
"I hate that she’s going through this.” I would do anything to go back and do things differently. Make it so she stayed with me and never ended up alone in Narnia in the first place.
“Tell her that,” he says.
“Yeah.” I turn my back on him. “If I can get her to talk to me.”
“Just tell her about the kiss,” he says.
“I have,” I say.
“No.” He pauses. “Tell her everything about that night. What happened. What was on your mind.”
“But you’ve seen how she reacts.” The last thing I want to do is cause her more pain. “Every time we mention him…”
I want to punch a hole in the closest wall.
“She’s hurting anyway.” He wipes a finger under one eye. “She’s confused. And she knows there’s more that we’re keeping from her.”
“The shrink said it could be harmful.”
