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But to have him confirm that he didn’t think I was worthy of being loved—that way, anyway—was kind of a sucker punch.
“I—really hoped you wouldn’t end up that way, Val. But I was… worried.”
“Thanks a fucking lot, Elliot.”
“Val—”
“You never thought I had a fucking chance, did you?” I was getting angry now.
He sighed. “I didn’t think it would only take you like two weeks to get your shit together. But if I thought you didn’t have any chance, I wouldn’t have suggested you grovel to get him back, would I?” He sounded somehow both annoyed and placating at the same time.
He also, irritatingly, had a point. Because if Elliot had thought it was hopeless, he would have just said so.
“I’m sorry, Val,” he said, his voice softer. “I just didn’t realize how much you care about him.”
Part of me didn’t want to be mollified, but I find it difficult to ever stay angry at Elliot for long. “El—” I chewed on my lip.
“What?”
I couldn’t say it.
I sighed, instead. “It’s okay,” I said, instead. “I know how much of a dick I am. And I don’t really do feelings, so I’m not really handling this super well.”
He made a soft huffing chuckle. “You aren’t,” he agreed. “I probably should have figured out why.”
“Fuck you, Bucky.” But I wasn’t mad at him, not really. Because he had been there, every day, checking in on me. Reminding me that I could make different choices.
“Fuck you too, Link.” From the stupid videogames we’d played as kids.
“Nerd.”
“Dork.”
“Val?”
“Yeah, El?”
“When do I get to meet him?”
I laughed softly. “Come visit,” I told him. Even though I’d been here a decade, Elliot had yet to come out to Richmond, usually because the one time of year I had any real time off I tended to go back to Wisconsin.
He was quiet for a moment. “Well, I’ve got a goddamn table to bring your boss in like March, so, yeah, okay,” he said, and I couldn’t help but grin. I’d known Ward was getting a custom séance table from him, but I hadn’t known Elliot was planning to deliver it personally.
“Yeah?”
“I’m doing the carving there, because I really don’t want to fuck that up.”
“I think you’ll really like him.”
“Your boss, or your boyfriend?”
“Probably both,” I answered honestly.
“Val.”
“What?”
“Go back to him.”
