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Evening had long passed. Michael was pacing to and fro, speaking on his phone, coordinating his affairs.
“Avi,” he approached him. “I’m very sorry but I must fly off to Paris. I have a concert that was booked over a year ago, all the tickets are sold out. I tried everything I could to get out of it, but unfortunately, I cannot.”
“It’s alright,” he took his hand into his. “Your presence here won’t remedy my grief. My dear brother, I know how important I am to you. You can go back to your life and return when you can. I’ll survive, I promise. Besides,” he continues. “Sam is here. You’re the one who found her and brought her here and into our lives. I should thank you. I find a lot of comfort, warmth and joy with her.”
He listens, unsurprised yet pensive. “We’re so lucky to have found her,” he nods. “She’s become very meaningful to me, too. I want to clear the table and come back already. I miss her. And you too.”
I keep silent. Embarrassed.
“Okay,” he interrupts Michael’s burst of optimism. “Right now, I can’t focus on anyone else, I’m sure that things will work out. Time to go,” he urges him.
Michael glances at his watch, then looks at me. He approaches me and kisses me heartily, hugs me and completely wraps me in his huge arms.
“It’s time for me to go,” Michael said in a broken voice. “Although I’m not present in the flesh, my soul is here, I...”
“Honey,” I hug him back and kiss him on the cheek. “I know. Just come back quickly.” I smile faintly, he says his goodbyes and sets off.
Under the cover of darkness, the number of people gradually dwindled. Those who stayed behind help clean up and prepare the house for the next day. The last attendants say their goodbyes, pat some on their shoulders, hug others, and try to comfort the grieving family.
“Finally, some quiet!” Avi sighs when that last person leaves. “It’s just impossible to bear!” he confesses.
“I guess I don’t need to ask how you’re feeling,” I look at him compassionately.
“Sam, I’m completely wiped out. My body’s stiff. I feel numb.”
I give him a long and big hug, slowly lift my head and look at him silently. “Better?”
“Much better. Let’s go to bed, I need this day to be over.”
We head together to the bedroom and flop together, side by side, onto the bed. He shuts his eyes, indulging in the blessed silence. I decide to remove all his clothes, help him unburden his discomfort and unnecessary weight. I kneel at his feet and start with his shoes.
“What are you doing?” he asks me, his eyes still shut.
“I thought I’d help you undress. Make you feel more comfortable.”
He smiles as he reaches out his long hand and caresses my hair.
“You’re so good to me. I apologize for unloading my burden on you.”
“It’s alright, Avi. I want to be here for you.”
I remove his shoes, peel off his socks, and deeply massage his feet, trying to encourage blood circulation and relieve his stiffness. I remember that numbing sensation I had felt when I lost my dear grandfather, may he rest in peace. I remember the stifling sadness, the agony, the crisis. He was one of the only people in my life who made me feel loved.
I slowly remove his jeans, and then his t-shirt as I lean over him. He quietly cooperates with me, still keeping his eyes shut. He simply gives into me, surrenders. I keep massaging his arms, his shoulders, and then cover him with a soft woolen blanket, wrap him and try to help him feel comfortable.
I smell his hair, affectionately caress him, press against to him, making me taller than him for a change, and slowly lean his head on my breast, trying to cradle him in a motherly and warm embrace. He wordlessly gives in, and then motionlessly falls asleep.
I kiss his head and hug him.
“Good night. I love you, my Avi,” I whisper to him. Then, I fall asleep, too.
Chapter 13
I awake in his arms. He’s asleep, hunched over me, his expression calm. I can’t help myself and I kiss his lips. He immediately wakes up. With a half-smile, he kisses my forehead.
“Good morning, princess.” As per usual, he’s overdoing it.
“Good morning to you too, dear.”
