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Before she could convince herself to go in to find Anna, Eloise reversed out of the parking lot and sped back onto the main road of Dayton. Her eyes were filled with tears, and it was difficult to see. Three roads down, a diner advertised free re-fills on coffee and grilled cheese sandwiches. Eloise hurriedly pulled into the parking lot, parked, and walked into the diner, where people ate greasy eggs and bacon and read the paper, even this far into the afternoon. It felt like a non-judgmental place. Maybe, had she sat with one of these strangers and explained everything that had happened to her and why she was in Dayton in the first place, they would say, “I understand. Any sane person would understand why you did this.”
Eloise mopped herself up in the bathroom and sat in a booth, where she ordered a cup of coffee and a grilled cheese. The black dress she’d gotten from Walmart now seemed so plasticky and bad, and it clung to her body in all the wrong places. All she wanted was to be back in her overalls. All she wanted was to be back home.
Just as Eloise’s coffee and grilled cheeses came, the front door of the diner burst open. There, standing in the doorway with red-rimmed eyes and a panicked expression, stood Anna Crawford. Eloise stared at her with her coffee poised near her lips.Was this real? Was this really happening?Anna stumbled into the diner and took the booth directly in front of Eloise’s but sat facing away from her. She then blew her nose and muffled a sigh into the Kleenex.
The waitress arrived to take Anna’s order, which was a coffee and a grilled cheese, just like Eloise’s. All the while, Eloise stared into the jet-black hair on the back of Anna’s head and considered whether she should run out of the diner, back to her truck, and flee Ohio forever.
Then again, why wasn’t Anna at the funeral? Why was she at this rinky-dink diner down the road?
Was this some kind of sign?
Anna’s coffee came, but Anna had begun to cry harder, and there didn’t seem to be enough napkins on the table or Kleenex in her purse. Eloise took a deep breath, leaned forward, and said, “Excuse me? Miss?”
Anna froze, then turned to glare at Eloise. Obviously, she was embarrassed to have been called out for crying.
Eloise passed her clean handkerchief across the table and nodded toward it. “Have this.”
Anna waved her hand. “That’s okay.”
“Please. I insist.”
Anna grimaced, then took the handkerchief and blew her nose. A warmth flooded Eloise. This was the first contact she’d had with a Copperfield, and she’d actually been able to help out.
But soon after, Anna’s shoulders began to shake wildly, and it was clear the girl was about to hyperventilate. Eloise leaped to her feet and hurried to her table, where she sat and placed her hand on Anna’s shoulder.
“Honey, you need to breathe,” Eloise told her.
Anna placed her hand over her chest, and her eyes were elsewhere, unfocused. “I. Can’t,” she finally managed to say.
“Let’s do it together,” Eloise coaxed. “Inhale. Exhale.” She said it slowly, helping Anna bring oxygen into her lungs, watching as her stomach rose to give space to the lungs.
For nearly ten minutes, Eloise said this, over and over again— inhale, exhale, until finally, Anna was able to breathe again. Throughout, nobody else in the diner said a single thing, as though they worried that they would distract Eloise from her mission. To everyone, Eloise seemed like a stranger who’d stepped in to help. In a way, she was.
The grilled cheese arrived, and Eloise urged Anna to eat. Anna shook her head and sipped her coffee. “I really can’t. I’m sorry.”
Eloise sighed, remembering that when Liam had died, she’d refused food, too. It had seemed superfluous.Why should she eat when Liam no longer needed food?
“Honey, you can tell me about what happened,” Eloise said softly. “If you think talking will help.”
Anna pursed her lips, then sipped her coffee. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to talk to anyone.”
Eloise nodded as Anna’s face crumpled up.
“I should be somewhere else right now,” Anna continued. “I really need to be somewhere else. But I just can’t be there. It’s too hard. I can’t be there, seeing everyone’s eyes on me, pitying me. I can’t bear to speak to his parents. Gosh, I hardly even knew his parents! And now, they’re just strangers with these empty eyes. When I got here last night, they picked me up from the airport, and I had a panic attack on the way to their house. I didn’t know what to do. But the worst of it was, that was my third panic attack yesterday.” Anna sipped her coffee again, seeming to come back into herself. “I can’t get back on a plane. There’s no way. I’m terrified of everything now. Me! I used to be open to every kind of adventure, and now, as soon as the plane takes off down the runway, I have a panic attack. It’s incredible.”
Eloise rubbed her shoulder timidly. “You seem to have a rational reason to be scared of flying.”
Anna puffed her cheeks. “The thing is, I need to get home. I need to get to Nantucket. And it’s so, so far.” She sounded defeated. “I could take a bus, but…”
“A bus? All the way from here to Nantucket?” Eloise’s eyes widened. “You don’t want anything to do with that. That would give anyone a panic attack.”
“I know. I know.” Anna palmed the back of her neck.
Eloise felt another idea coming through her like a storm across a flat Indiana field. She couldn’t possibly suggest this. And yet, here it was— a crazy, horrible idea.
“I’m heading out east,” Eloise began.
Anna tilted her head. “Oh?”
