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Eloise sat at the edge of her bed in the hotel room and stared into the black night. Clouds had formed overhead, and there were no stars. She reached for the remote control and turned on the local television station, which showedPretty Woman, a film from back in the days when Julia Roberts had still been young. Unfortunately, by then, Eloise had already given up on many of her hopes and dreams. Children hadn’t come.
Eloise burned with thousands of questions, all of which she wanted to ask Herb.But how could she possibly get up the nerve to ask them?She’d left almost fifty years ago, and Herb had clearly lived an entire life without her.
No— she hadn’t seen a wedding ring. That was true. But that didn’t mean anything. Sometimes, men didn’t wear wedding rings for comfort reasons. Then again, Herb didn’t seem like the kind of man who would refuse to wear his wedding ring, as he was the sort of man who appreciated symbols and upheld them.
As the night ticked toward dawn, Eloise began to stew in personal resentment. Again, she questioned why she’d had to come to Nantucket and stir up so much drama. She wasn’t a dramatic person in the least. Back in Indiana, she’d been the friend who stopped fights before they started. Whenever she and Liam had begun an argument, she’d sat calmly, outlined her opinions, and then allowed him to sit calmly to outline his. They’d never screamed at one another, not even during the horrendous time when they’d worked hard to get pregnant and failed.
Still, if she got in her truck and returned to Indiana, what then? Eloise knew Greta. She knew, now that she and Eloise were reunited, Greta would come after her if she fled. Beyond that, there was nothing left for her there. She felt like an island.
Eloise remembered the last time she’d ever seen Herb in the flesh. It had been four months before she’d been sent away, and both of them had known they were nearing the end of the line. By that time, Eloise’s parents had kept her on a very short leash, which had required Herb to climb up the tree outside her window and come through undetected. It had been a feat worthy of a sitcom. If only the entire event hadn’t made Eloise so sad.
That night, sixteen-year-old Herb had suggested many things. He’d said they should take off for elsewhere, that they should hide out until her parents calmed down. But Eloise had been so terrified, unsure of her own feelings and willing, stupidly, to trust in her parents’ feelings, instead. She’d kissed Herb for the last time with tears in her eyes and told him that everything that was about to happen was for the best. Back then, mental health wasn’t a topic people spoke about, and Eloise wouldn’t have been able to define “depression” in the slightest. Looking back, she now knew that’s what it was that plagued her. She was so alone and so violently sad.
Around three that morning, Eloise received a sudden text message. It was from Anna.
ANNA: Hey. I can’t sleep. Can you?
Eloise smiled sadly to herself.
ELOISE: How did you know?
ANNA: I wish we could calm ourselves down enough for a normal night’s sleep.
ELOISE: Me too.
ELOISE: How are you doing, darling?
ELOISE: I still feel so guilty about how we met.
ANNA: Don’t. I’m so glad you’re in my life.
ANNA: I went to that party yesterday. It was okay. But I still feel so guilty about having any kind of fun now that Dean is gone. We were supposed to have a lifetime together, and now— I don’t know what to think.
ELOISE: I can’t even imagine, honey.
ELOISE: But I think it’s good you pushed yourself to go to the party.
ELOISE: You don’t have to go to every party, and you don’t have to meet every new person on this island.
ELOISE: But you do have to remember, somehow, that life keeps going. And that you’re worthy of an enormous amount of goodness.
Anna didn’t write back for a moment. Eloise stewed in fear, wondering if she’d said something wrong.
ELOISE: I’m sorry if I’m overreaching. I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through.
ANNA: No, no. It’s okay.
ANNA: I just dozed off, actually. Lol.
ANNA: Thank you for your help.
ANNA: Try to sleep, Aunt Eloise. Love you.
Eloise stared at the word “love” Anna had typed, feeling as though it anchored her to the earth. Someone loved her. And actually, she had the sense that if she continued to hang around the Copperfield Family, the rest of them would pour their love onto her, as well.
Eloise typed back a simple “good night and love you, too,” and then dropped back on the mattress and stared through the dark. Over the next hours, she faded in and out of sleep, each time awakening with panic. She felt as though she’d forgotten something somewhere. Once, she awoke thinking that she was back on the farm and that she’d left the light on in the kitchen and needed to turn it off. How insane she was!
When the clock on the nightstand hit six, Eloise washed her face in the bathroom and walked downstairs to grab a cup of coffee in the dining area. She’d done her best to fall asleep all night long, and she’d ultimately failed. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.
