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“Want you so much,” he panted against my mouth. “I was gonna come in about two seconds if you’d carried on sucking my cock, and I don’t want it to be over so soon.”
Before I had a chance to reply, he covered my lips with his again, and I lost myself to the hot glide of his mouth against mine, the way our bodies were grinding against each other as we found a rhythm, our cocks sliding together in a way that had me pushing against him harder, faster, chasing the high that I knew was coming.
“Baby,” he whispered, wrecked, and that one completely unexpected word sent me straight over the edge. My cock pulsed between us, cum shooting onto our stomachs and his cock as I lost myself in a white haze of pleasure.
Ander groaned low in his throat, pumping his hips faster. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he moaned in between desperate, sloppy kisses, and then he was coming too, his release combining with mine.
His body slumped down onto mine, and I held him as we both came down from our high. That had been…everything. The intimacy of what we’d been doing…there was no penetration involved, and there hadn’t needed to be. That was easily the best sexual experience of my life and one I wanted to repeat again, and again, and again.
I loved this man so much.
When my brain recovered enough to allow thinking again, I realised that something was wrong. Ander’s face was buried in my shoulder, and small tremors raced through his body. I froze beneath him. “Ander? What’s the matter?”
A choked sound came from his throat, and he pushed his head further into the space between my neck and shoulder. I could feel wetness against my skin, and my heart stuttered. Wrapping my arms around him, I held on to him, trying to let him know without words that I was there for him.
It only lasted for a moment before he suddenly tore himself away from me. Completely naked, he threw my door open and ran without a backwards glance. A few seconds later, I heard the sound of his bedroom door opening, rebounding against the wall, and then slamming closed.
I collapsed onto my back, rubbing my hand across my face. What had just happened? I played back through everything that had happened in my mind, desperately trying to swallow around the sudden lump in my throat. There was a tremble in my hand as I pressed my fingers to my shoulder, and then to my neck, to the place his head had been.
My fingers came away wet, and when I touched them to my lips, I tasted the unmistakeable saltiness of tears.
21
How could this have happened? Somehow, I’d caught feelings for my best friend.
Okay, yeah, I already knew that I had feelings for him. But tonight, I’d discovered something, and it had hit me right around the same time that I’d had the most spectacular fucking orgasm of my life, and it had come purely from rubbing my dick against Elliot’s. The free-falling feeling, the roller-coaster ride that my body kept taking, the fucking butterflies that had me calling him “baby” out of the blue, shocking us both—it had all culminated in the realisation that I was falling hard and fast for him. My feelings for him went way deeper than I’d thought, and it had scared the shit out of me.
Because this meant that this couldn’t be just sex between friends. We’d admitted we liked each other as more than friends, and we’d also agreed that we wouldn’t let sex fuck up our friendship. But this wasn’t about my dick.
This was about my heart.
I’d told Elliot not to overthink things, but now here I was, being dragged under by the force of the thoughts crashing down on me. How long had I been falling for him? Had it been even longer than I’d realised?
I took a deep, shuddering breath, burying my face in my hands as I finally faced the truth. I’d been falling for him ever since the first time we’d kissed. That kiss was supposed to be fake, but my feelings were real.
What the fuck did I do with that knowledge? And how the fuck did I approach things with Elliot? I knew that he’d be panicking about the way I’d run out on him, and everything in me wanted to go back to him, to reassure him that things between us were okay. But I didn’t trust myself to act normally around him. Could I hide my feelings from him? I didn’t want to scare him away by coming on too strong or by making him think that he owed me anything more than sex or, worst of all, actually fuck up our friendship.
A sudden thought struck me out of nowhere, and I bolted upright.Yes. If I was lucky, maybe things could work out between us. I wasted no time running into my bathroom, cleaning myself off, and splashing some water on my face before throwing on the closest item of clothing, which happened to be a pair of football shorts. Then I took a second to make sure that all evidence of my mini breakdown was gone, running a hand through my hair to tousle it in a way I knew looked sexy. I glanced down at my body and smiled to myself as I tugged my shorts lower on my hips. If I was going to get Elliot on board with my new plan, I needed to use every weapon I had at my disposal, and I already knew that he thought I was hot based on his actions and words tonight.
After one final glance in the mirror, complete with a wink at myself, I made my way back to Elliot’s bedroom. The door was now closed, but he hadn’t locked it, and I walked straight in. The room was empty, but I could hear the sound of running water coming from his en-suite bathroom, so I took a seat at his desk chair to wait.
Hang on…was this my most flattering pose? I wanted him to look at me with that hungry look in his eyes, like he couldn’t wait to touch me. Standing, I glanced around the room before deciding to lean back against the edge of his desk, my arms on either side of me and my fingers curled around the desk edge. That way, I could flex my pecs and my abs.
Except…the water was still running in the bathroom, and the edge of the desk was digging into my ass uncomfortably. Fuck it. I’d sit in the chair again. I looked hot either way, right? I wasn’t going to recline on his bed or anything like that because I didn’t want him to feel like I was pressuring him into anything more.
Before I could change my mind yet again, the water shut off, and I collapsed into the chair so hard it went flying backwards across the room. Fucking wheeled chairs. I managed to stop its trajectory just as the bathroom door opened, but there was no time to pose in a sexy way.
“Ander!” Elliot’s eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. “W—what are you doing?”
Too busy trying to recover from my unplanned ride across his room, I didn’t answer for a minute. His eyebrows lifted as he looked down at me, a small smile appearing on his lips.
“Why is my chair all the way over there?”
“Stupid fucking wheels,” I muttered, narrowing my eyes. Scooting the chair back into its proper place, I spun around to face him fully. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.”
“Huh?” Elliot cocked his head, chewing on his lip as he studied me, and fucking hell, the desire to kiss that lush mouth was almost overwhelming. I had to shove my hands under my thighs to stop myself from reaching for him.
Okay. Time to put my plan into action. I breathed out deeply and then met his gaze, lowering my voice. “Come here.”
