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“Fuck off.”
“Cade got the new Call of Duty. Wanna play?”
Yes. Anything was better than lying here in the dark, thinking about things I couldn’t change. If I didn’t watch out, I’d let the feelings of inevitable despair and hopelessness that were always at the back of my mind drag me under, and then I’d be fucked.
My phone buzzed, and my screen lit up with the name “Angel.” I dived for it before Cass could see, but he was occupied with examining the supplies on top of my desk. Thumbing open the screen, I read the message, the sudden strong beat in my chest reminding me I had a heart, even though it was damaged. I replied, climbing off my bed and glancing back over at Cassius. He raised a brow, holding up a petrol can.
“For tomorrow,” I said. “I’m going out.”
“You just got back.”
“Yeah, and now I’m going out again.” Shoving my phone into my pocket, I headed over to the door. “Don’t wait up for me.”
He smirked. “I’ll be too busy tonight to worry about what shady shit you’re getting up to. Hey, maybe you should try getting laid, too, once in a while. It might improve your mood.”
“Thanks for the advice.”
“Anytime.” A wide grin appeared on his face. “If you want some help with the ladies, you know—” I shot him a look, and he stopped mid-sentence, shaking his head. “That serial killer stare is seriously creepy, mate. Do you practise it in the mirror, or does it come naturally?”
I left him without bothering to reply. I had somewhere I needed to be.
THREE
Ihad another fucking flashback when I reached the ponds and saw my girl standing there waiting for me, half in shadow, half lit by the street light close to the tree. This time, it was from the summer.
The sun was lowering in the sky, reflected in the series of ponds that lay in front of me. My back rested against the rough bark of the tree, and my arms were looped around my girlfriend’s waist as she leaned back against me, settled between my legs. Music played softly from her phone, propped up against the side of my black motorbike helmet.
Fallon sighed against my chest, her fingers trailing across the blades of grass. “I wish we could stay here forever.”
“Yeah.” I leaned down to place a kiss to the top of her head, soft strands of hair brushing against my lips. The dying rays of sun caught her platinum-blonde waves, turning them a fiery gold. Fuck, my girl was so beautiful. My angel.
In the distance, I could see two people walking past, hand in hand. I swallowed hard, my jaw clenching at the reminder that there was no happy ending for me and Fallon. We’d never be able to be out in the open like other couples were. Not with the bitter rivalry between our families and the obligations that had been placed on us both.
If I were a better man, I’d cut all ties with her. Let her go so she could move on and be with someone that she could have a normal relationship with instead of these stolen moments we had to satisfy ourselves with.
But I was too selfish. I couldn’t let her go.
My heart beat for her and only her.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Fallon twisted in my arms, pulling her legs underneath her and then shifting onto her knees so she could straddle my thighs. Winding her arms around my neck, she met my gaze. “That couple. I don’t care about any of that. I want you.” She punctuated her sentence with a soft kiss to my lips. Lifting her hand, she ran her palm across the tree bark just above my head. “Remember when we carved this?”
I nodded. We’d carved our initials into the tree, back when she was thirteen and I was fourteen. Back then, I was only a naive child, deluding myself that maybe we could make things work, but I was just kidding myself. There was nothing but heartbreak in our future.
I was no stranger to pain, but breaking Fallon’s heart…I knew it would fucking break me, too.
“Let’s forget about the future for now.” Fallon stroked a finger across the back of my neck, making me shiver. “We have this summer. Now you’ve moved out of your dad’s house, it’ll be easier to meet up.”
A few days earlier, I’d moved in with two of my best mates, Caiden and Cassius, and Caiden’s younger brother, Weston, would be moving in with us the following summer once he’d turned eighteen and finished school. Our new house was close to the Alstone College campus, the elite business university college that Caiden, Cassius, and I would all be attending in September.
“Yeah…maybe.” Hopefully. I knew Cade understood my need for space, how I had to get away from everything and everyone. Now I had my motorbike, I’d taken to riding it for hours at a time, sometimes revisiting my old haunts and friends, and sometimes, just being alone. But it was never better than when my girl was there with me, her arms wrapped securely around my body as she rested against my back, while the powerful machine thrummed beneath us, taking us wherever we wanted to go.
“Always so pessimistic.” She rolled her eyes, but the sweetest fucking smile curved over her lips. “It will be easier.”
Instead of replying, I leaned forwards, sliding my hand up into her hair and kissing her. She opened her mouth for me with a soft moan that went straight to my dick. I shifted, moving her on me so she wasn’t brushing against my cock. We were out in the open, and although we were fairly secluded in this small clump of trees, there was always the chance of a dog walker or someone stumbling across us. We never had enough time together, and the time we did have was always at risk of interruption.
Always a mind reader, she drew back, resting her forehead against mine. “I want a whole night with you. Do you think…if I get Hailey to cover for me, we could have a whole night together?”
“Your dad won’t let you, will he? He knows Hailey lives alone.”
