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“All the more reason to come over,” she said, surprising me with the fact that she wasn’t berating me. My mother loved me, but that sweet and razor-sharp tongue of hers, depending on how she used it, could be terrifying. “Your sister, your brothers, and their families are all here. So are the Russos, the Changs, the Murdocks, and the Lius.” Mom named all of her closest neighbors, the usual suspects when it came to her weekly BBQ’s. Except for the Lius. They were new.
My parents were famous for these BBQ’s that weren’t necessarily BBQ’s because they happened all year round. Well, at least famous in their neighborhood. The gatherings were a tradition that had started about the time I was sixteen and my brothers had all already left home. They began that summer, but Mom loved them so much she continued them into the fall, moving the venue inside but often making my dad still grill outside. She allowed him to bring the grilling into the kitchen when the temperature fell below thirty degrees. And although my dad grumbled about his ‘slave labor,’ as he liked to call it, I’m pretty sure he secretly loved it. He was a grill master and loved showcasing his skills. It was like everything in my parents’ marriage: it didn’t always make sense, but it just worked for them.
“Sounds like a blast. And a full house,” I said as I slumped further into my couch cushions. Maybe if my couch ate me whole it would keep me from having to leave my apartment?
“If you’re trying to imply that the house is too full for you to come join us, you are being utterly ridiculous. Stop wasting my time, Ella. Please come over and join our family get-together. You’ve already missed too many,” Mom said kindly.
It was the kind part that got me. She was using the sweet side of her tongue and that wasn’t fair. If she’d railed at me about how neglectful of a daughter I was—not only was I not getting married and not giving her grandchildren, but I couldn’t even deign to come join her party—I could have handled it. But this asking nicely, almost pleading with me? I hadn’t been ready for that.
“Fine,” I muttered, already regretting my choice. I looked longingly at my TV. “But I’m not putting myself together,” I added defiantly.
But Mom had already hung up now that she’d gotten her way.
I sighed and pushed myself off of my comfy couch. I loved that spot and I was going to miss it. Who knew when I would be back? Man, I was becoming dramatic.
Getting annoyed with my own ridiculousness, I got up and considered going to my room to at least change. Mom would be livid enough with me if I showed up at a party without a stitch of makeup but to also arrive in the athleisure wear I loved to live in? That would drive her crazy. And maybe serve her right for not playing fair when asking me to come.
That thought made my decision for me. I was going to go to Mom’s in my fitted gray zip-up hoodie and black leggings. My shoulder-length blond hair was pulled back in a tiny ponytail and my face was bare besides my skincare. Mom was going to flip. And my brothers would love me for it. They were usually the ones driving Mom up the wall. Aside from the fact that, unlike me, they were married and producing grandchildren for her. But everything else about my brothers drove her nuts. Jordan had dropped out of med school to become a high school teacher and basketball coach. Alex finished all of law school before deciding he felt the call of fighting wildfires. So instead of having a doctor son and a lawyer son, Mom got a teacher and firefighter. Both ridiculously honorable professions, but not as bragworthy as the former.
I rode the elevator down to my building’s parking garage, feeling ashamed of my negative thoughts about Mom. She really was so proud of my brothers’ families, and she loved her daughters-in-law fiercely. But Mom had a high standard for all of us that we just couldn’t quite reach and it was exhausting.
My job, on the other hand, was bragworthy. Mom loved to tell people I was an Aurora’s Girl. But I was in my thirties, husbandless and childless. Therefore, I didn’t quite measure up either.
As I started my car, I thought about my last sibling: my sister Carlie. Technically she was my baby sister, even though we’d always equally taken care of each other. She was the reason I became an Aurora’s Girl. Carlie’s first husband, Chuck, had been a charmer. Because I’d been deployed for the most of their dating and engagement, I’d really only known him as Carlie’s husband. Chuck could light up a room, but little did we know the kind of man he truly was behind closed doors. The only saving grace of that relationship was that they’d had no children, so Carlie had no ties to her ex. Except for the lie Chuck had instilled in her, which she couldn’t seem to let go of, that she somehow had deserved such a terrible man.
One of Mom’s greatest points in my book was that even while she was tough on the rest of us, she never made Carlie feel less. In fact, she was her biggest cheerleader in everything. And her careful consideration of my hurt sibling was how I knew that deep down Mom was proud of who we each were as well.
I pulled into the driveway and parked beside Carlie’s car. Alex’s truck was also there, alongside Jordan’s minivan, the only car appropriate for his brood of five kids. The neighbors would have all walked, so our cars were the only ones.
The chill of the evening crept into the car as soon as I turned off the heat. Fall was upon us and I really should have worn a coat on top of my outfit, but I figured I would just be running from my warm apartment to the warm car and then to my parents’ warm home. I really hoped Mom wasn’t making Dad grill outside tonight. It wasn’t quite below freezing, but it was nippy.
Laughter filled the air as I walked up to the house. But I felt weirdly displaced from it all after the last few days. The worst part was that I could tell no one about what had happened with Aria. Everyone who’d been involved, from the cop to each member of Aurora, knew how important it was to keep that information within our ranks. We had no idea what the Beast Boys knew about Aria, but the less they knew the better. And that meant keeping our mouths shut.
But that house filled with family, friends, and good times didn’t quite feel right. It was almost like showing up at a party I hadn’t been invited to. It was a silly feeling, considering that this was my family, the people who meant most to me in the world, but my job had me seeing the worst of people on a day-to-day basis. It almost felt like that was where I belonged.
Maybe Mom was right. I didn’t like what I was thinking and feeling. I really did need this.
“The fun has arrived,” I called out as I opened the front door.
“You kids really need to work on coordinating your bits. Both of your brothers said the exact same thing when they came in,” Mr. Russo said from his spot on the couch.
I cringed. Being called out by Mr. Russo, the king of really lame dad jokes, for a joke falling flat, was maybe the low point of my comedic career.
“Still better than your jokes, Merv,” Mr. Chang shot back. He was now my favorite of the group.
“Where is everyone else?” I asked, surprised by how few were in the living room. I guessed there were still the family room, dining room, and kitchen as gathering spaces, but I’d assumed there were would be way more people in here.
“Doug is braving the cold with your dad,” Mr. Chang explained.
“Wait, Dad is out grilling in this cold?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Mr. Chang nodded. “Merv and I gave up after about five minutes.”
“I was freezing my keister off out there,” Mr. Russo added.
That was an image I wanted out of my head immediately.
“And—” Mr. Chang began just as Carlie burst into the room.
