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But when I look at Alice, sometimes, it scares me. Sometimes, I want her in my bed for more than one night.
But I don’t truly know her. It’s like a base instinct my body has. One that goes beyond she’s pretty to she’s pretty much a perfect match for you. It’s terrifying. And exhilarating at the same time.
I glance over at Alice to see her eyes staring straight ahead, not daring to glance over at me.
I look back at Janet. “My first impression of Alice was that she was young. I even told her so when I met her for the very first time in my daughter’s classroom. Probably not the best first impression I could have made for myself, but we can’t change the past, can we?” I let a smile sneak across my face, surprising myself. “But she quickly put me in my place, and then my impression changed. I saw a capable woman, one who stood her ground and took no shit. Sorry, can I say that on here?”
Janet titters at my curse word, and I look at Alice, seeing a large smile on her face.
“That was very heartfelt, Simon. So, you two didn’t meet for the first time on the show?” Janet leans forward.
I glance to Alice again. This time, her eyes are on me, wide and unblinking. She narrows them slightly and then looks back at Janet.
That’s fair.
She probably thinks that I just made that whole speech up for the show—to push our relationship through and make us look good. And maybe I’ll let her continue thinking that. It’s safer for both of us.
“No. She was the assistant teacher in my daughter’s classroom last year.”
“And, Alice, what about you? What was your first impression of Simon?”
I catch her tensing up even more at this question. No doubt trying to figure out which way to spin it. How do we tell the world what we feel when we don’t even know it ourselves?
“I, uh—” She cuts off, leaning to grab her water bottle from the table beside her. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Take your time,” Janet says, smiling a sharklike smile at us.
I don’t think she truly cares about our answers. She’s just trying to get the juiciest morsel for the show, wringing us dry of our feelings and putting us on display. It’s not like we didn’t know what we were signing up for though. I know that I had no choice, but now, I wonder why Alice signed on the dotted line.
“My first impression of Simon was his suit,” Alice says once she’s taken a drink of water.
“His suit?” Janet prompts.
I turn toward her, leaning one elbow over the back of my chair so I can face her more fully. She ignores me.
“Yes. He was standing in the classroom doorway in a black suit, and I remember thinking that he looked serious. Like a Secret Service agent or something.” Alice laughs.
I smile. My fingers flex open and then close back down, resuming their soft, at-rest C-shape.
“But then we met, and I learned that he was serious. He didn’t like to waste time, and he cut right to the chase every single time I saw him. He was intriguing because I’m not like that. I take my time and find the joy in things.” Her eyes dart to mine for a brief moment and then turn back to Janet.
“Well, there you have it,” I tell her. “I’m a serious, no-nonsense kind of person. I have to say, she pegged me right.”
But why am I so upset by that?
When did I become this uptight robot? One who forgot to live and does the same thing every day without fail?
Maybe the day your ex-wife left and took your will to live with her.
“Well, it looks like you two might be perfect for each other,” Janet says with a wink. “How about we look around where you two will be living together for the next six weeks?”
