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“You almost got Geo killed in the process,” I say, a soft reprimand, and the hurt and anger that cloud his eyes has me regretting saying it.
“Where is he?”
“Safe. He’s here.”
“How long was I gone?”
“They had you for two days.”
“Felt like an eternity.”
“For me too,” I say. “Connor …” As he looks at me, I bite my bottom lip, unsure of what to say. “I was so angry with you that night. And the only thing I could think of when Geo came back and told me what had happened was how fucking sorry I was for letting you leave without talking.”
“You had every right to be angry.”
I shake my head. “I know you were doing what you could to keep us safe, whether it was right or wrong. I didn’t see it until there was the possibility that I would never see you again. My heart physically hurt. I couldn’t breathe. I was a wreck.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you like me?” he asks.
I grin at him and shake my head. “No, but I think I’m starting to,” I say. I cradle his bare cheek with my palm and lean in, pressing a light kiss to the undamaged corner of his lip.
His chest rises sharply, his eyes searching mine. I loom over him, supporting myself with my other hand so I don’t hurt him further as I wait. I don’t expect him to say it back, but I need him to know that in some ways, I ache for him. Ways I don’t even understand right now.
“You shouldn’t like me,” he says, shaking his head slightly. “I’m not a good man.”
“I’m not a good woman,” I say, and he swallows.
His eyes close, and he clears his throat before he opens them again.
“Ilikeher, and that’s the beginning and end of everything,” he says, and my eyes widen.
“The Great Gatsby,” I say, and he nods.
“Amended, of course,” he says, his eyes searching mine.
I know the actual quote sayslove, but that’s a huge word. Big. Too much for this moment, for us. We don’t love each other, but I think maybe one day, it could come to that. This is more than lust at this point. Somewhere along the way, I started to care for this man, for his life, for what he’s going through, and it seems he’s done the same. Our feelings snuck up on us, and it’s something we both want to explore. For better or for worse.
This moment is so large that it consumes me. Filling my chest, making me think it might burst.
I press another kiss to his lips, and his healthy arm circles around my back, pulling me to him. He grunts as my body presses into his torso, and I try to lift myself, but he holds me to him. I rest my forehead in the crook of his neck, letting my tears fall freely now.
We stay like that for a few moments before I crawl back off of him. He stares at me, looking tired.
“Now that we’ve established that, you never did tell me. How did I get back here?”
Ahh. Fuck.
I bring one hand up, starting to nibble on my thumbnail as I try to think of how to tell him.
“Spit it out,” he says, his tone light but I know better.
I should rip the Band-Aid off.
“I made a deal,” I say vaguely.
“With who?” he asks.
I take a deep breath. “With Viktor.”
Silence.
Then, I watch his unbandaged fingers start to drum on the bed’s comforter.
“Oh, Little Bird. What have you done?”
