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For a few weeks, I was busier than ever between my normal client load and squeezing in Berta’s restoration when I could.
Unfortunately, nothing stopped me from wondering if Lily would call or show up to get an update on Berta.
Our shared dinner had gotten to me. I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d started the subscription service she’d talked about or if she’d made any more progress on the farm.
Most women I’d dated liked the idea of me more than the reality. They thought I was a carefree guy who rode a motorcycle. In reality, I was a workaholic whose business came first.
The garage was my life. I wasn’t supposed to want anything else. I sure as hell shouldn’t be thinking about the blonde who ran a flower shop.
I rolled my shoulders back as I stood to work out the kinks. I’d gotten lost in my work yet again so I could avoid doing what I wanted to do—calling Lily to give her an update on Berta.
I was torn between wanting to pursue her and reminding myself I didn’t deserve someone like her. I’d bring her down. But then those were limiting beliefs I shouldn’t be adhering to anymore. I was a responsible business owner.
There was this underlying belief that I’d screw things up. I’d acted like an asshole when we’d first met, and I was sure to repeat it at some point. I couldn’t be the guy she needed.
Ryan grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and handed it to me. “How are things going?”
“I’m almost finished with this one.” I unscrewed the cap and took a long swig of water. I was dusty and hot. I could use a shower and a night outside the shop.
“You want to come over for dinner tonight?” Ryan asked.
I shook my head. “I can’t get away right now. I don’t want to fall behind.”
“You’re doing too much.”
I gestured at the full bay and the cars waiting outside. “I’m not doing enough.”
“We’re partners in this. It doesn’t seem fair that you’re the only one picking up the slack.”
“I’m sure there’ll be a time when the roles are reversed,” I replied, without thinking about what I’d said.
Ryan gave me a dubious look. “You really want to settle down?”
I chuckled without any humor. “No plans to.”
He tipped his head to the side. “So, when would our roles be reversed?”
I took another long drink of the water to formulate an answer that would get him off my back. Finding none, I finally said, “I don’t know. I’m just talking out of my ass.”
“Mmm,” Ryan said, and I knew he didn’t believe me.
“How are things going with Berta?”
“I’m keeping Lily updated.” I’d been sending her detailed emails. It was businesslike and left no room for small talk.
After eating dinner in the waiting room of the garage, I’d kept my distance. I didn’t want my body to think pursuing Lily was a good idea because my brain was firmly in the I’m-all-wrong-for-her camp.
Ryan raised a brow. “Yeah?”
“Is that supposed to mean something?” I asked, worried about what I was opening myself up for. Ryan never sugarcoated things with me. We’d both had fucked-up pasts and had been there for each other through everything.
“You never give out the loaner to anyone.”
My stomach tightened. “Lily needs something to transport her flowers.”
Ryan’s lips twitched. “You’re kind of proving my point.”
Impatient with this conversation, I asked, “Which is?”
