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“That does it,” I declare. “I’m going to banish this frick a frack fuck luck bull crap from your brain. I’m driving it out. With. Pie.” She whips back around, her lapis lazuli eyes all huge. “Should have tried that the first time, but there I was, thinking I wouldn’t have to resort to extreme measures.”
“Is this one of those times when you do that thing with humor?”
“No. This is one of those times when I’m buying you a pie to celebrate. Right here and now. I’m buying you all the pies.”
“All the pies in the world?”
“Every. Single. One.”
“Oh boy. That would be complicated. You’d need dump trucks for that. Lots of them.”
“Fine. Just all the cherry pies then,” I amend.
“That would still require a massive amount of trucks to bring them in. And how exactly would we celebrate?” Then, she pauses, and I give her a smirk. “Oh,” she whispers and lets out a long exhale as her eyes turn stormy and dark. “It’s rather public here, don’t you think?”
She’s getting bold. Daring. Is she trying to wedge a burr into my butt on purpose? Because she’s succeeding. I have to admit the last two times when I wanted to prove something to her were rousingly spectacular, seared in my memory, and engrained in my being forevermore.
“Everyone is just so together,” she whispers. “So organized and so…so freaking just…perfect.”
“That’s what they want you to think. But inside, they’re all hot messes, and they ask themselves every time they hear a thump in the house or the ice maker turning on if it’s actually the devil doing it.”
“Oh wow,” Cass groans. “That’s…wow. Just terrible. And it makes no sense.” A swan boat floats past us on the sparkling blue stretch of water that wraps almost all the way around the park. “Let’s get on one of these and start peddling. I think we need something to think about other than, uh…I don’t know…how you’re going to prove your point again.”
“Now?”
“Why not? We’re here.”
“What about pie?”
A blush spills from her cheeks down the lovely column of her neck and straight to the hollow of her throat. I’d like to trace that pattern with my tongue, starting there and working my way up to claim her lips.
“We could save that for later,” she whispers. She leans in, and I can barely hear her. “Or is that a euphemism for my lady parts?”
“I actually meant pie, but can I say yes? Because I’d like that so much more.”
“Can you have pie and eat it too?”
Give the lady a prize. “And you say you’re not together, not magical. You have all the magic.”
“Technically, you’re the one with the fantasy-inspired wizard-of-the-century beard of infinitesimal wonders. Oooh, look!” She spins around and points. “There’s a free boat. Can we? Would you go on it for me?”
For you, anything. There’s no way I say that, but I do take her hand and guide her over. I pay the guy manning the boats the twenty-five dollars that a ten-minute ride around the park costs before helping Cass in. The giant swan is quite steady, and the seats are even large enough for me. Kind of. My knees are only in my face a little bit when I put my feet on the peddles. Then, we churn the water enough to get away from the dock. The swans might have been a romantic idea, but they’re also real calf burners too.
A line of boats passes us, and I wait until we’re all alone on the calm water before I stop peddling so we can just drift while I turn and face her. She’s so beautiful with her hair falling all over the place, her cheeks still a little flushed—though, this time, it’s probably because the boat is a real workout—and her eyes mirroring the lake that, for a second, I have nothing. No words. No snarky comebacks. Just a fuck ton of feelings that I’m not entirely sure I know what to do with.
Now that I think about the boat thing some more, I’m completely sure this was Granny’s meddling. I remember the first time we did this. I can still smell how delicious Cass’ perfume was when I leaned in a little too close because, back then, she was totally beguiling. She was sweet, like perfectly ripe apricots with a hint of lemon. And now I know she’s all peaches and honey.
Well, shoot. My cock just underwent a not-so-astonishing transformation from flesh to iron. And she says I’m the one with all the magic.
“Everything in balance,” I rush to say when I finally recall what it was. “That doesn’t mean something bad will happen every single time something good happens.”
Cass studies me. “How do you know that’s the truth? I think it has more to do with universal laws than the belief that it may or may not be true.”
