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Right now, my throat clogs up, even though I spent most of the night thinking about just that and contemplating what Lennox and I talked about before he fell asleep in my bed. I didn’t just get up long before him to make those waffles. I hardly slept.
“I love my family,” I whisper. “But I’d be willing to travel around for as long as it takes. If that’s a lifetime, then I’d miss them, but we’re not that kind of close, not to the point where we can’t love each other if we don’t see each other in person. I know my parents would want me to be happy, and I think I could do that from a distance. I’d want to keep them safe.” Ayana reaches out for me and I clasp her hand and say, “I’d miss you most of all. You’ve always been my sister from another mister.”
“We’ll still see each other, even if you leave. We’ll still be close. Space won’t change that. I promise. If you have with Lennox anything close to what I have with Ransom, you have to chase it, you have to fight for it, and you have to sacrifice for it. It’s worth it. It’s so, so worth it.”
Honestly, I love my parents. I do. I love my sister too, but my mom and sister have never been in my corner like these women are right now. They’ve never been behind me like this. They’ve never been the kind of strong women examples that I needed in my life. I don’t blame them for it since not everyone can be built like Lennox’s granny and Ayana. I’m just so, so thankful it’s these women I’m with in the car right now. I glance at Maya. She’s smiling at me, and I smile back, my heart warming up so completely that I can feel my eyes misting over again.
“Sweet baby girl, you have one amazing mama and great-grandma. You’re going to be a warrior, just like them.”
Maya giggles at that, and Ayana wipes tears from her cheeks while Lennox’s granny shifts in her seat and whips out a pair of Glocks. “You might need these where you’re going.”
I choke back a scream. So far, I’d only heard about the infamous Glocks. It’s kind of funny and yet terrifying to find out that the rumors about this granny packing heat are true. No wonder she’s partial to suit jackets. She needs somewhere to stash those things.
“Oh, uh, I really hope I won’t need those.”
Lennox’s granny stashes them back in her jacket—yup, she must have a holster in there—and turns back to me. “Lennox doesn’t do anything halfway. He’s a great guy. A wonderful, wounded, torn-apart soul with a wealth of love that he doesn’t even know he’s capable of. He’s not meant to live the life that most people dream of. He gave all that up just to be a part of something bigger than himself.”
“He makes his own destiny,” I whisper. I clear my throat. Hard. “I want to do that too. I want to decide for myself. I can make my own luck. Nothing I ever tried to do worked out until I met Lennox, and I’m not letting him go because of superstition or bullshit or pianos. I’m going to find him, and then I’m not letting him go.”
Lennox’s granny nods emphatically. “Good. Good. That’s what I like to hear. Now, we just have to wait for him to slip up, which he’ll no doubt do on purpose in short order to tip me off. When that happens, I’ll figure it out, and we’ll send you on your way in the station wagon.”
“The station wagon?”
“What else? It would make for a great road trip. You have a newly minted license, so it’s time to use it, honey. I’ll even give you the ten thousand dollars you need for gas. Kidding, but seriously. That thing is hard on fuel. I’ll pay for everything you need to bring Lennox back to us.”
“That’s going to be one heck of a road trip.” Ayana looks at me like she couldn’t be prouder, and her support means everything.
“On the way there and the way back,” I agree, hoping I mean that in a positive way. I swallow hard.
No, I do mean it in a positive way. I’m not going to accept anything less. Nothing less than success. And in this case, success is finding the man I care about and telling him that I care, that I care now, and I’ll keep caring more and more and freaking more, and letting him know that I’m coming with him. No. Matter. What.
CHAPTER 16
Lennox
I’m usually able to go so deep inside myself that everything is tuned out. It’s a skill that served me well as a kid and one I’ve never lost. The irony of it doesn’t escape me. I came out here so I could think things through and be alone in my head, yet that’s the last place I want to be.
