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Why do I bother?
He doesn’t care. In his eyes, I deserve this.
And maybe I do. I wasn’t some naive girl who didn’t know what I was getting myself into when Daphne had me wait in the car while Apollo handled Mark. I knew. I knew a murder was being committed. I might as well have killed the man myself.
And now I am paying the price for it.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
Ani
I’m so lost in my misery I don’t hear the door to my room open. It’s Phoenix’s dark clothing that catches the corner of my eye that notifies me that he has heard my repeated pleas into the camera and can’t take it anymore—granting me mercy even if it’s to shut me up.
Thank God. He is here. I won’t be alone any longer with my dark thoughts. The mental game this man is playing is just as bad as the plug rooted in my ass.
Looking up at him with tears streaming down my face, I beg, “Please, Phoenix. I know I messed up. I know I did. But I can’t be tortured like this.”
“Torture?” He smirks. “You have no idea what torture really is.”
“Call it what you want,” I choke out. “I beg you to take out the plug. It’s too big. And the handcuffs. I don’t need these.” I push my confined wrists toward him to emphasize my appeal.
“You don’t get to be a brat and act out and not expect there to be consequences.”
“I wasn’t thinking.” I try to control the hysteria that makes my voice sound so high-pitched that I don’t even recognize it. “I was just so angry.”
“You don’t get the luxury of being angry while you’re here. You lost that right the minute you brought my brother into your mess,” he says with little sympathy or care present on his face. So cold and stoic. “The minute you put the Godwin family in danger.”
“I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” I sob. If I had any dignity left, it’s gone. Vanished. Melted away in the tears falling down my face. “There is no way I can survive this. I can’t. I’m not strong enough. I wanted to earn your trust and forgiveness, but not like this.”
He kneels down beside me and looks me straight in the eyes. Humanity flickers in the depths. It’s brief, but I see it, and it gives me hope. “You need to take a deep breath and calm down. You’ve gotten yourself so worked up that you’re going to have a panic attack.” He places his fingertip on my cheek and strokes softly. “Calm down. You’re going to be just fine.”
I shake my head. “I don’t deserve this.”
“What do you deserve then?” Phoenix asks. “Do you think I should just ignore what you did? Trust that you won’t destroy my family’s lives? Trust you like my brother foolishly did with your sister?”
“No, but—”
“Would you rather I just had you killed so you are no longer a problem for us? Kill your sister? I’m sure that’s what Athena and my father want.”
“No,” I answer as I look down toward the floor, breathing as calmly as I can.
He gently runs his fingertip along the handcuffs then dips his finger between the metal and flesh. “There’s plenty of room. It’s all in your head. And the plug is small.”
“I know you have a good heart. I know that there is a part of you locked inside that is good,” I say, continuing to cry.
“You’re wrong on that.”
“I saw it. We were getting to know each other. We were getting close. Intimate. I saw the kindness of your heart.”
Slowly he strokes his fingers through my hair, never taking his eyes away from mine. “The minute you believe that a Godwin is kind, you put yourself at risk. Why? Because look at what you just did. You didn’t fear me, and you should have. Can I be merciful? Yes. Can I treat you decently? Eventually.”
“How long do I have to be cuffed? Plugged?”
He swipes at a loose hair that hangs in my eye and tucks it behind my ear with the most loving of touches. His kindness causes a whiplash of emotions in my struggling psyche. He goes from cruel to tender and affectionate in a matter of seconds.
“I just want to go home,” I whine, although I do seem to be feeling better as the moments pass. His gentle touch and petting of my hair does seem to ease some of my distress.
“Your home is with me now,” he says as he leans in and kisses my cheek with the most delicate of touches. “It won’t always be bad. Take your punishment like a good girl, and it will soon all be over.” He pulls away and looks me in the eye—so dark and piercing. “You’re a strong woman, Ani, but you made poor choices. I have to make sure you never do so again.”
