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“Trust me. I’m not ever going to again. I have to live with that mistake for the rest of my life.” Though I am upset, the tears have at least ceased.
“I don’t trust liars, but I understand something about you. You’ve had to be a fighter your entire life. I know this. And that asshole deserved to die. It’s the secrets, Ani. Until you truly understand how dangerous secrets can be, how destructive lies are, you’ll be here. Learning. But I won’t break down the woman you are. Not at your core. I just want to break your ability to ever cross or lie to me in the future.”
He kisses my cheek again and then my forehead, while continuing to stroke my sweaty hair. “You are going to be just fine.”
Will I be? How can I be just fine ever again?
“I hate it!” I cry. “Why are you so cruel to another human being? I may be your prisoner, but I am still a woman. I’m a person. I deserve some level of decency.”
He nods. “I know.”
“So why?”
“You’re fine.”
“I’m not,” I argue.
“You are, so stop. Stop the hysterics. I’m trying to be nice and to be patient, but my patience will only go so far.”
“Do I deserve to be treated like an animal?” It appears that my words do make a difference, but I also get the sense that there is no use trying to convince Phoenix to go against his conviction.
Phoenix places both palms on each side of my face and forces me to stare directly into his eyes. “You need to behave. If you continue to try to push me, I promise you that what you have suffered so far will be minor in comparison. Behave. Do you understand me? You have nothing to prove. Let go of that pride. Feel humiliated. Feel ashamed. That’s the point. A lesson will be taught, Ani. One way or the other.”
“I have already learned. Trust me,” I point out. “I’m here because I don’t feel I have any other choice, being degraded, and then being expected to have a baby. There is nothing more for me to be taught.”
“But there is. You know this. Don’t push me. Just don’t.”
“Is there nothing I can do? You can’t truly be serious in this. I get it. I get that I need to be taught to never lie to you again. But please. I don’t think you are a monster. Not truly. Please let me go. Please.”
He leans in and kisses me gently on the forehead before standing up. “Being a monster is my only option. The minute I show any weakness, my enemies will strike. As Godwins, we do what we do to survive. No one gets away with betraying us. Stop begging, Ani. It’s a waste of time and energy.” He extends his hand to assist me up now that I am breathing and acting normally again.
Standing, I take a moment to allow the slight weakness in my legs to strengthen. Phoenix places his arm around me to hold me steady while I regain control of my body. It hasn’t taken long to feel back to my old self.
“Would you like to go to the kitchen and get something to eat?” he asks. “I think you’ve earned that comfort item.”
I nod.
He grabs my arm and leads me out of the room, down the staircase, and through a door to the left. The kitchen is dimly lit, so the shadows emitting from Phoenix’s figure are all the more pronounced.
He pulls out a chair and forces me to sit down. I hiss as the pressure of sitting seems to lodge the plug even further inside my ass.
I almost ask for my handcuffs to be removed so I can eat, but the look on Phoenix’s face keeps me quiet. I need to allow the man to cool down. Eating with handcuffs will be interesting, but I would rather face that than Phoenix’s wrath.
Phoenix goes to the refrigerator and starts pulling out the fixings to make a sandwich. It feels as if I haven’t had a meal in days. My mouth waters as he puts the plate with a turkey sandwich in front of me.
“I’m not really a cook, but I’m still going to have the chef come and prep some meals for us. The meal quality will go up.”
The fact that he feels he has to justify or explain the sandwich makes me smile. At least it is an ounce of kindness. In fact, Phoenix has been quite loving in many ways, as insane as that is. Is that how he works? One side of him is the bad guy, one side the good guy. But maybe that’s why I’ve been drawn to him. He knows how to offset the bad with the good. The yin and yang keep his power grounded and never out of control.
