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I died in his arms and have been reborn like the phoenix rather than the dove.
The raw desire inside me has me repeating the words I said a short time ago. “I love you.”
And just like before… silence.
But this time it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t sting. I speak my truth just as my body has.
He tenses but doesn’t let go of me, and for now I’ll accept.
I’m not a fool to believe the darkness has left him, but right now, all I feel is light.
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Ani
I think I fucked up. Actually, I know I fucked up.
Ever since I declared my love for Phoenix, he seems so distant. He’s reminding me of the brick wall of a man he was at the manor. I had felt that each brick was slowly being removed, but with three deadly words, I have rebuilt the impenetrable structure.
“The sea,” Phoenix says after my evening belting that he’s still doing even though we have been staying in the penthouse for two days now. “It’s a reminder of the power of the gods. Of Poseidon, the ruler of the seas.”
He turns to me, and I can see the intensity in his eyes. “Do you know the story of Poseidon?”
I shake my head, not sure where he’s going with this. He’s been so sullen lately I’m cautious and feel as if I’m walking on eggshells.
“Poseidon was a god among men,” Phoenix continues. “A ruler of the seas, and a master of the earth. He was feared and respected by all. But he was also a jealous god, and he would do anything to protect his power and his kingdom.”
My sense of unease grows as he speaks. It’s like he’s not just talking about a mythological god, but about himself.
“Poseidon would stop at nothing to protect what was his.” Phoenix’s voice is low and menacing. “And that’s what I’ll do, Ani. I’ll protect what’s mine, at any cost.”
My heart races as he speaks. He’s not just talking about the sea, or about Poseidon. He’s talking about me.
“You should be carrying my baby by now,” he blurts. “It’s been a month since we started, and something tells me that you’re with my child.”
It’s as if ice cold water has been thrown on my quivering body. My heart freezes as my knees buckle, and I fall to the floor. I look up into Phoenix’s stunned face with wide eyes and shake my head in denial.
Baby.
I don’t want to think about having a baby.
His baby.
Every time I do, it makes me panic. It’s too real. Too…
A baby will bring us back into reality.
With furrowed brow, he kneels down and takes my hand in his. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?” The concern on his face is foreign, and I take a moment to absorb a new element of the man I long to know more about.
“I’m not sick.” I can’t breathe normally, and my body grows clammy.
Phoenix wipes a loose strand of hair from my face and places his palm on my forehead. “What’s going on, Ani? Do you need a doctor?” He pulls my shivering body against his and cradles me.
“What happens then?” I ask in a whisper. “When I do have your baby?”
“Once you’re pregnant, I’ll start making plans to move you out of state to one of my properties to have you carry the baby with the best medical staff at your disposal.”
His words confuse me. Why would he want to leave Seattle? And if not staying in Seattle, why not Heathens Hollow? “Why would you have us leave the state? Where?”
“Just you for now,” he says.
“Wait. What?”
“You’ll raise the baby and be very well cared for. You won’t be trapped away in this penthouse or manor anymore. I’m sure you can’t wait to be able to truly be free and be out in the sunlight where you belong.”
His words aren’t making any sense. He’s been using words of possession when it comes to me. He says I’m his. He says forever. He hasn’t hidden his control over me in the slightest. Why would he even think of sending me away? “Why won’t I stay with you?”
Phoenix surprises me when he kisses the top of my head and still holds me securely in his arms. “You paid your penance and then some.” He kisses my head again. “If you stay here, my family will swallow you up and spit you out. I won’t have that for you or for my baby. And if the secret ever gets out about what you, Apollo, and your sister did… I want you far away where you can’t be found.”
“I don’t understand.”
“This has been the plan all along. You paid for your crimes. You are giving me the baby. You’ve done more than enough.”
“So you want me to go into hiding? Where?” A deep wave of grief attacks every part of my being. I have no idea why. I should want to be free from the penthouse, the manor, and free from my constant punishments. Once I have the baby, I would have paid for my lies, my sister’s lies, and what we did, and this all can stop.
