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“I’ll fill you in once I’ve had a drink.”
“Okay.” She flashed a sympathetic smile.
I opened the menu. “Anyway, I’m so glad we could do this. It was long overdue.”
Billie grinned. “So many times people say they’re gonna get together for lunch or whatever and never follow through—it’s all talk. I hate that bullshit. I appreciate a girl who walks the walk, so I was glad when you texted me.”
I hoped she wasn’t disappointed when she figured out that I had an ulterior motive and needed to unload on her. I took a long sip of my water as I perused the menu. “What’s good here?”
“I love the chicken taquitos. Colby’s favorite is the chimichanga.”
“Both of those sound great,” I said, though my nerves had made me not at all hungry.
A waitress appeared. “Hello, ladies. Can I start you off with something to drink?”
“Do you have vodka cranberries?” I asked.
“Sure, we can make that for you.” She turned to Billie. “And you?”
Billie held her palm out. “Oh, just water for me.”
The waitress nodded. “Got it.”
After she left, I said, “Well, now I feel stupid drinking if you’re not having anything.”
“Oh, believe me. I would partake if I could.”
It took me a few seconds to notice the look on her face, like she was waiting for me to figure it out.
“Oh my God.” I covered my mouth. “Are you…pregnant?”
Billie nodded, unleashing a huge smile.
“No way!” I stood up from my seat and pulled her into a hug. “I am so freaking happy for you guys!”
“Thank you!”
I returned to my seat and leaned in. “Tell me everything. When did you find out?”
Billie clasped her hands together. “So, first off, you’re the only one from the crew who knows right now. Colby and I are planning a get together to announce it to the guys and Saylor at the same time. I’m just telling you right now because I need to tell someone. I’m going crazy keeping it inside.”
Damn, could I relate to that feeling. “Wow. I’m super honored that you’re trusting me with this. How far along are you?”
“Two months. So, we’re not out of the woods yet. They say three months is a safer time to start announcing it.”
“Have you been sick at all?”
“Surprisingly, no. I haven’t gotten morning sickness. It would suck if I had to work on clients like that, so I’m grateful. But the one bummer is that coffee now turns me off, so I haven’t been drinking it. I used to love my cup in the morning.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard you can get aversions to certain things.”
Billie was always gorgeous, but she was absolutely glowing right now.
“I’m so excited, Lala. I never expected it, you know? A biological child wasn’t something I had to have because Saylor is truly my daughter. And believe me, she’s more than enough. For a while there, I wasn’t even sure I could get pregnant because we hadn’t been using anything in forever and nothing happened. But then one day, I just felt different. Not bad…just different. And I had a feeling. So I took a test, and there it was.”
“Are you gonna find out the sex?”
Even the word sex coming out of my mouth brought a fleeting wave of guilt.
“Actually, we’ve been talking about keeping it a surprise.”
“Really.” I moved some ice around with my straw. “Gosh, I don’t know if I could be so patient.”
“I think not knowing makes it so much more exciting.”
“Well, I’m very happy for you and Colby.”
“A baby might not be that far off into the future for you,” she said. “Do you want kids?”
My stomach churned. “Oh, yes. I’ve always wanted kids.”
“Is that something you and Warren want to get going on soon after you’re married, or do you think you’ll wait?”
My drink arrived before I could answer. Thank God. I took a long gulp as Billie watched me. Then I started fidgeting in my seat.
“What’s going on with you, Lala? You don’t seem like yourself today.”
That was my cue.
“I’m not myself, Billie. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.” I took another sip and when my straw made a slurping sound, I realized I’d already finished the damn thing.
She looked down at my empty glass. “Whoa. Okay. Take a deep breath. Then tell me everything.”
“I feel horrible bringing this up after the news you just gave me. This dinner should be about you.”
“Fuck that, Lala. This baby will be incubating inside me for another seven months. There’s plenty of time to talk about me. Whatever is going on is eating away at you. You need to let it out now.”
I nodded. “When you mentioned Warren just now, and what I want in the future, the most incredible guilt came over me. I should be thinking about my upcoming marriage and babies. I should be yearning for all of that. And I do—I want that stable kind of life. But my mind has been somewhere else completely lately. I have these…” I paused. “Desires that I can’t seem to shake.”
