AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Now you know how I feel.” She studied my face. “Does that bother you, too?”
“It does.”
“Why?”
“Because of the same thing I resented you for the first time you approached me atBrown Barista. I ain’t believe you’d accept my past. That’s the reason why I’ve not told you my full name.”
“Exactly why?”
There was so much shit to unpack.
“Because I ‘on’t want you googling my shit, Shi,” my voice cracked, forcing me to clear my throat. I needed to stand ten toes down on this. I wouldn’t allow even Ashira Witherspoon to condemn me for what I had already forgiven of. “I ‘on’t want you judging me.” I shook my head. “I don’t want you to see me as anything less than what I give you.”Because I’m here forever.
She stared at me, brain turning over behind her eyes. “You were in prison for guns. I know you were a gun dealer. You made a living from it.” She scoffed. “A damn good one apparently.” With her eyes pinned to me, searching fortheanswer, Ashira shook her head. “You told me about the diagnosis. I get the need for a therapist; remember, we share the same one.” She kept going. “If it’s the PTSD from being incarcerated for so long, I think I proved last week with your ‘sleep sitting’ that I’d go to extreme measures to bring you back to me. Even Aunt Rose said it’s nothing to worry about. And I take her every word at it…”
That reminder was like a punch in the damn gut. She’d sucked my dick while I was in another dream, penetrating the nightmare. In fact, I’d considered those episodes dreams because nothing really happened outside of me believing I was still locked down. Her necking me and having me orgasm in my sleep was a nightmare. I’d never had no weird shit like that happen to me in prison.
“Okay, Jas,” her deep sighing had me coming back to the here and now. “Are you going to make me resort toguess—” She jumped dramatically to her feet. “You’ve never raped a woman, have you? Becausethatwould gross me out. I mean, I felt a possessiveness when we’ve made love”—Made love… That term stopped the unbearable tightening in my chest just for a moment. It sounded so official.Yeah. I did make love with Ashira. It was one of the most humanizing acts I’d had in life. She was beauty and I was the beast until we touched. It was pure, revealing, and satisfying.—“but I’ve taken that as a ‘I took his virginity, so of course, he’d go ape on the kitty’ type of thing. That’s as far as barbaric that I’d ever felt.”
I shook my head, dismissing that false notion. I had more of a passion for money than pussy as a kid. “I had a trial…before I got hit with the federal charges. I cut a deal with theFEDs and that’s what sent me up.”
“Okay.” She switched weight on her hips, standing in front of me. “You served time for guns. What else am Imissin—Oh…” She blinked hard. “Your trial. What were you on trial for?”
That’s when I stood to my feet. I stared her straight into her eyes hardening before me.
Ashira’s head shook softly. “All I’m saying is give me all the information. You’re here talking marriage, and I don’t know your legal name.” Her face wrinkled. “I’m in love with a man whose name I don’t know. Do you know how ridiculous that is for a woman like me? We’re talking marriage and, like you said, I don’t even know all of your past.”
Hope blossomed in my chest. “You sound like you’re open to it…marriage.”
“I’m open to getting to knowallof you because apparently the parts I do know made me lose rein of my heart.” She stepped closer, nose expanding. “But what I don’t like is to be treated like a child who runs purely off emotions and can’t handle shit. I am strong.” She stabbed the air below with her index finger. “At the very least, I proved it earlier today with my mother. I’m still here. I’m handling it. After this ‘damning’ news, I’m sure I’ll still have my health and my freedom.”Damn. She used my words against me. “With those two things I can conquer any obstacle. So, tell me what it is, Jas.”
That’s whenshe’darrived. That split second was when the thousand dollar suit-wearing, red sole-walking, and diamond frozen ear and wrist bad bitch I was familiar with had arrived. Ashira was right: she was all of those things. And on the other side of this conversation was possibly my forever with her.
With a racing heart, I forged ahead. “I was charged with quadruple murder, a massacre is what some news outlet called it at the time.” When she didn’t flinch, I couldn’t stop. “I did it. You may ask why. It was a contract hire type of thing. Someone I knew, knew someone who needed it done. I was that guy. No, it wasn’t something I was known to do, but it was very much known that I’d do it. I took the job, got hemmed up when it was done and was found out.
“The local police came after me and so happened to do an illegal search to try and prove I’d done it. They couldn’t, but found the guns I told you about instead. It was enough to get the ball rolling on my prosecution. They were able to place me in the vicinity the night of the murders, and I sat for trial and paid the sharpest criminal lawyers I could find. I beat the case. But the moment the verdict was read, theFEDs showed up with an affidavit and took me into custody from the local police department. I pled out for the guns found in my car, and you know the rest.”
When she knew I was done, Ashira stared at me for a long time. Her poker face was so tight, and I didn’t know what was going on in her head. I had no damn clue of what the girl was thinking, but my sick ass would wait for her. She was worth it. Even if she said she wouldn’t fuck with me after this, I would wait. But giving up was not an option.
Please. Give me something…
Knowing Celestine knew who I was, there was only one thing to do: this thing I knew could push Ashira over the edge. But I needed it to come from me and definitely not the vicious woman I’d just experienced in that house. Couldn’t have. The mom—or Celestine—I saw at sixteen years old didn’t carry this energy that day. Shit, I’d built my whole plan for success, inspired by what I’d seen on that day between those two. What I witnessed today was a perfect example as to why I didn’t allow shit to intimidate me. It was why I didn’t believe any man or woman on this earth to be superior to me. Prayerfully, one day soon, I could teach that same discipline to my girl.
But…
Ashira didn’t speak. She turned to the water, studying the reflection of the moon off the ripples without a word.
And I waited.
Finally, she took a deep breath and turned to me. “I’m going back to the cottage. It’s late and I need to find us a flight out of here, preferably a redeye.”
She turned away and walked off.
Chapter 21
Part II cont’d
June | Present Day
