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“With the Father,” he surmised.
I found my head shaking, lips pushed out. “I ‘on’t like this space I’m in, E.”
“Which is?”
I scoffed. “You sound like her, my therapist.”
“I’m licensed.” He reminded me. “You know this. I need to be sure I’m understanding what you’re sharing.”
I nodded, answering his question. “Against God, yeah.”
“You had sexual relations,” he didn’t ask, so much as was confirming it to be sure we were in agreement.
Inhaling, I made clear, “I did. And to be transparent, it’s one of those things on my list I was specific with Him about sacrificing.”
“Be clearer.”
“I told God the week I got home, I would…” I hated speaking it. Sharing it. But with Ezra, I knew I could without judgment. “I told Him I’d be celibate until I found my wife. That’s why I’ve been going hard, dating these women. It’s been me trying to check that item on the list.”
“So,” He sat back on the sofa. “you’re telling me you made a covenant with the Lord.”
“Of sorts,” I nodded, processing that. “I guess.”
“A pact, an agreement. You’re asking Him for something or somethingsand, in return, you made sacrifices.”
“Until my shit went weak and I broke it.” I raised my palm. “Pardon me.”
“Granted. I can understand.” He adjusted his pants at the knees. “When it comes to the nature of a man’s libido, sacrifices can become impossible. I was celibate for years until Alexis. Not being able to identify a woman I found irresistible was a breeze, but that paled in comparison to having urges going unfulfilled.”
“So, was it a struggle for you?”
“It wasn’t until it was. And it was when a giraffe of a woman fell at my feet. Her glowing features took my breath away, and her body…” Ezra made some distinct and blaring sound with his mouth then rolled his eyes. “Christ,” he whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was in serious trouble, man. Practically from the moment she lay at my feet, I was on a race to making her mine.”
My face wrinkled. “What was Lex doing at your feet?”
His brows raised. “She fell. Holding boxes stacked too high, she couldn’t see, I suppose.”
I chuckled. “Mean ass Lex bagged a pastor of one of the most prestigious religious organizations on the coast. That’s Harlem Pride right there.”
“Stranger things have happened, I’m sure.”
That made me laugh more. “I ever tell you she beat my cousindownin high school—a dude?”
“Those are days I’d rather not know of.”
I understood. Back in the day, Lex would have never qualified for the first lady Ezra had turned her into. You could bank a brick on that. But I respected it, though. Seeing Lex walk in this light had been inspiring to me.
“No disrespect. Just crazy to come home and find out the weirdo preacher who spoke prophetically into my life had been bagged by Lex Grier. Now, you’re this eclectic, powerful vessel she rides for. It’s a beautiful thing.”
A friend…
“Oh, trust me. To many I’m still the weirdo preacher. I’ve come to accept my eclecticism as well as the fact of my wife having a colorful past. But let us go back to your issue with the woman. Could this be the one I met at the safe house?”
I gave an affirmative nod. “That would be the one.” Then I thought. “Funny how you go straight to her considering we’ve never dated.”
“Ahhh, yes.” He snorted. “Because she’s the only one I’ve seen with a unique disregard to your rather rigorous nature.”
“Rigorous?” I scoffed. “Whatchu’ mean?”
