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His right hand was wrapped in gauze, and I saw crimson staining through the cloth. Then I heard my name being called from behind me, outside the bedroom, but I couldn’t move. I was ridiculously aroused and bewitched by this personal love scene…with a warrior. That’s how feral the man looked, beautifully stroking himself. The sound grew louder as I ogled Jas’ wrist work, jealous to be on the outside of this erotica. My groin churned, and breasts felt heavy in my bra. Why was I turned on after the reckless way he treated me—
Jas’ half-mast eyes rolled up to me. His big hand didn’t stop or slow, nor did his abs. I squealed, tortured. My knees rubbed together, and I suppressed a cry shooting up my chest.
“Shi…” That call was in close proximity and had me gasping.
Quickly and breathlessly, I backed out of the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind me. I met Shizu at the door of the bedroom.
“Girl, we need to talk,” she whispered hard. “Did you hear any ruckus last night? Apparently, there was a fight. They said Jas sent his cousin to the hospital; it was so fucking bad, bro. Consuela had to come in early this morning to scrub the kitchen and hall floors. His cousins tried to get it all up last night, but I guess they failed. Let’s fuckin’ go. I’m like a little skeeved.”
“Wha—” Corinne, then Peach appearing in the doorway, halted my question.
They were ready to go.
“Shit, Jas!” Becky whispered, sitting perched on the step of my tub, peering into my cell phone. “This is…” She was speechless, and I was, too, curled up in the tub, soaking in bubble water. “…brutal.” A fresh sheet of tears warmed my face as I held myself by the legs, rocking back and forth.
Yesterday, the girls and I carpooled from my place to go to Jas’ birthday party, so this morning, after leaving his house, we returned here.
Outside his home, at the car, an emotional Chelsea gave us a rundown of the fight. But it wasn’t until we’d pulled off and were well out ofLake Sha’Ronthat Tanya texted Corinne and me pictures of Tyreek’s bludgeoned body from the emergency room, which was what Becky was now looking at from my phone. I wished Tanya hadn’t sent them. For her, it was just information-sharing, but to my friends and me, it was terrifying violence. Before we made it back to my apartment, Chelsea called, apologizing for her sister’s actions. Being her big cousin’s protector, Chelsea wanted to keep what happened contained, especially from me, considering Jas had virtually done the same to my ex-boyfriend three months ago.
Given my emotional state from yesterday’s revelations, this morning’s heartbreak, and last night’s drama—all involving Jas—the girls didn’t want to leave me alone, but all had to go. Peach decided at the last minute to take Chi-Chi with her to church, Corinne had to get into work, and Shizu had a brunch date with David. So before leaving, Shizu called Becky to have her sit with me for support. I didn’t think it was necessary because Ines was home but I was too preoccupied with stress to protest the girls’ decision.
A tyrant.
My daughter’s father was a fucking tyrant. How did I not know? I sniffled, rocking back and forth.
“To be honest,” Cecil interjected. He happened to stop by today to pick up aNutribulletI’d been ignoring for years. He swore he’d finally start a diet this week and wanted to include smoothies. “…this is just thug nigga activity.” He shrugged his burly shoulders, demonstrating simplicity. Cecil was playing hood girl today, and the shit annoyed me. The man wasn’t raised in the hood! “Like…” He smacked his teeth, fingers waggling in the air. “Them motherfuckers don’t play about they baby mommas. You know Jas was locked the fuck up. Ain’t his street name Sin?”
“That’s no excuse. He’s a grown ass man now,” Becky argued. “He’s a father with several businesses he runs. He’s a fucking millionaire. That hood block shit should have been left back in Harlem.”
Cecil popped his lips, rolling his head. “I’m justsaying—”
“Cecil, he plundered a man on hisLake Sha’Ronproperty!” Becky’s tone sharpened. “Do you know how crazy that sounds? That neighborhood isn’t Thugs ‘R Us.”
Cecil’s head fell to the side when he asked, “What the fuck is wrong with a thug nigga, Becky? You discriminating?”
Her body lurched. “When it comes to my best friend, I am! He’s my niece’s father. What type of example is Jas setting here? If this is the shit he’s on, what will he pass on to Chi-Chi? He spends more time with her than my in-house dad spent with me growing up. It’s not cool.”
“But Becky, didn’tyo’daddy used to dress up in ya mammy’s clothes? Last I checked, your brother, Kevin, was married with kids. You mean to tell me he cross-dressing, too?”
Becky’s head swung back, silently accusing me of telling her family’s secret.
“Don’t you dare, sweetie,” Cecil admonished her. “You tell that shit every time you smoke weed.”
She did. Becky drank hard and got wild. When she smoked, she’d get low and vomit up stories from her childhood.
“Fuck you, Cecil,” she enunciated each syllable. Then Becky turned toward me. “All I’m saying is maybe it’s time for you to talk to him about his behavior and how you’re no longer supporting him, which means you won’t be friends any longer.” I couldn’t even look at her. “Shi-Shi?”
“That bitch ain’t saying what you want her to say because she ain’t going nowhere.” Cecil popped his lips. “Shi-Shi gone, girl. Gone!” His deep tenor made the message gravely dark.
“No, she’s not!” Becky was angry. “Shi-Shi!”
I finally turned to her, eyes heavy and swollen. “He’s Chi-Chi’s father,” I whispered weakly because that’s exactly what I was in this with Jas.
“Shi-Shi, he’s with another girl,” Becky warned.
Cecil sucked his teeth then slapped his thighs. “That lil’ chile? Jas using that bitch, Becky! If he really into that chile, why he fawking niggas up behind Shi?” His head fell to the side again, goading Becky. “Think, girl. Think!”
