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“Maybe I should have. Would that have gotten me some attention?”
My pulsed raced. “Is that what we’re doing now?”
His neck twisted in a shrug, beard glistening. God, why did I have to be so damn attracted to him? His big, strapping frame clad in black was imposing. It weakened me.
His index finger arrowed toward me. “You brought condoms to Jersey. I wouldn’t have pushed you.” He retracted the index finger, and pointed his thumb towards himself, voice throbbing with an unfamiliar emotion. “I’m the one who, like a sucker, spilled the beans, telling you I loveyou—”
“Fuck, Tobias!” I grabbed my head, feeling a sudden ache. “I’m about to leave my husband. You think shit is black and white?”
“Last I knew, my heart pumped blue and bleeds red. Ain’t shit about life black and white, Lennox. And it won’t start with us.”
“Then take it back. I’m not trying to hurt you. It would kill me to have you hurt in all of this… This miserable web I’ve managed to interweave myself into?”
“You don’t get it.”
“Don’t get what?”
“I’m not going no fuckin’ where. I’m here…in this. I ain’t leaving shit until I leave with what’s mine. That’s where I fucked up as a boy. I’m a man now, Lennox. And I want you to finally choose me. The question is do you want to?”
Totally flustered, I changed my line of view again. This was too much. Of course, I wanted to be with Tobias. He knew that. I’d just learned the lengthy process of my divorce. What I would do with Scott before Terry’s release from prison still hadn’t been decided on. Where would Kelly-Ann land? Where would I go? Would I stay in my home? Did I want to remain in North Carolina? What would I do without my job? I made good money, a salary that allowed me to care for three dependents. What would be the likelihood of finding the same role in New Jersey. Even if I could luck up into the same job, I’d need more money to afford the cost of living there. The questions and dilemmas were endless, making the last thing I needed was to fight with the one source of joy I’d had in life.
“Take off your jacket, Lennox.” There was a grave, yet seductive command in that request, causing my head to whip to face him. Tobias’ expression remained deadpan, but he did reposition himself, removing his arm from the top of the sofa. An immediate emotion swelled in my throat…between my legs. I found myself thinking of the possibilities of being embarrassed, and acutely, Tobias must have sensed it. “I wouldn’t ask you to do anything that would bring you harm or exposure. The house is empty. Just you and me. You saw me arm the house on our way up here.” Believing him without a moment of dither, I shut down my brain by obediently removing my jacket. Tobias motioned with his chin for me to toss it over the sofa chair nearest to me. That forced me farther into the room with him. “Do the same with your skirt,” his command was throaty, evidentiary of his mood.
This time, I moved into action quicker. I reached to my lower back, unfastened the hook, and lowered the zip of my skirt. I shimmied, pushing the cloth down my hips until it hit the floor. After stepping out, I tossed it over the chair, too. Tobias leaned forward, bringing his elbows to his knees, taking in the new view. The hem of my blouse reached my pelvis area, but my thighs, covered in hosiery with lace banded in the middle of each, were exposed as I stood in four-inch heels.
“C’mere, Lennox,” the tempered command in that throaty request arrowed straight to my groin.
I sauntered across the room and to him. Tobias sat up straight when I stopped just a few feet away. His eyes skirted the perimeter and he reached for one of the decorative pillows. He dropped it between his feet planted inTimberlandboots.
Then those heavy-lidded eyes tapped his lap. “Come.”
Not fully understanding this command, I did what was natural, which was sit on his lap. The action was awkward, knowing my ass was almost bare in cheeky panties. But the cry of need churning in my core was louder than those self-conscious whispers in my head. I arranged my legs and feet outside of his, but kept my spine straight as my eyelids grew lazy against his delicious scent and thickening beneath me. Woodsy musk, like sandalwood, and a pinch of citrus mixed with emanating heat, equaled all male, something I was unaccustomed to.
“Bend over and touch the pillow,” he husked. Awkwardly, I submitted to his command, slowly leaning over until my hands reached the square pillow. My heart beat so hard, I could hear blood rushing through my skull. “Loosen up. Relax,” his tenor soft. Then his big, hot hand was on my right thigh and leg, arranging it aside him on the sofa. My heel hooked into the upholstery. “Just relax,” he coaxed smoothly again. There was authority and comfort in Tobias’ tone, something I wasn’t familiar with, but for some reason, it didn’t surprise me. The man had endless options for company, intimate or otherwise. That was a truth of my friend I had to adjust to over the years. Tobias enjoyed sex. He took the same care with my left leg, bringing it up on the sofa so both were now astride him.
Immediately, I felt exposed to him. My all bared to Tobias for his review. My essence—my scent was spread out for him. I could also feel him thickening even more in his sweatpants.
“Your birthmark is pretty.”
Birthmark?I had one of those back there?
I felt his thumb brush against my flesh. The touch on an unseen part of my body revealed nerve-endings I didn’t know I had. My spine shivered, eyes closing again. I needed him in a way I couldn’t articulate.
“I wanna spank you,” Tobias softly growled.
“For what?”
“You have to ask?”
Then I knew. Tobias wanted to punish me for disconnecting from him since leaving Jersey. It was wrong, selfish. But I wanted it. I wanted him. So, I rearranged myself on the pillow, bringing my ass farther up his legs and stretched the length of my elbows.
“Doit—”
WHACK!
The first thrash was delivered before I could breathe enough to brace myself. My face pushed into the pillow as the stinging sensation moved beyond my cheek, interspersing throughout my torso.
Jesus…
